Author: Julz

A funny thing happened during this whole covid pandemic; I learned to be on the journey and not the destination. Back in March, when everything was shut down, I was in shock like the rest of the world. I’m sure almost everyone can relate to some of the intense emotions I went through. Fear, anxiety, sadness, disbelief, anger, you know what I mean.

One afternoon my younger son Sam, who was sent home from college, watched me freaking out. Then he pointed out the most profound thing. “Your problem is you are always looking towards the destination, and never enjoy the journey.”

I started thinking about what he said and he was right! Whenever we drove somewhere on a trip, I would be looking at the clock and doing the math trying to figure out what time we would arrive. Then when GPS came along, I wanted to prove it wrong and get there faster. I never looked at the scenery, or enjoyed a pit stop lunch.

Whenever I started something new, I would be so impatient. I wanted to be good at whatever it was it right away. I observed my dance students on their journey of learning to belly dance. It was such a beautiful thing to watch. How they learned and improved, slowly over time. I didn’t do anything slowly. I didn’t savor anything. This needed to change.

I decided that if I am going to be quarantined and be home all the time, I was going to learn to make it a journey. It was tough the first couple of months trying to not keep thinking about the destination we all wanted. This covid nightmare to just disappear.

After a lot of work I realized “Hey look at me! I am on a journey!” We painted all the dark rooms in our home because “someday” I wanted a house that was light, bright and airy. A few gallons of paint took care of that. We built an outdoor kitchen because if I was going to be cooking so much, it would be nicer to cook outside. We enjoyed our summer for the first time in years.

Once it started getting colder out, I was restless indoors. At that point I became extremely angry and frustrated. I was really missing my dance classes. I needed to blow off some steam. I went up to our gym and started working out again. I haven’t been in the gym for almost 7 years. I guess it was the right time to get back into shape. Another step along the journey.

Then a couple weeks ago my friend Heather suggested starting a blog. I’ve thought about it for years, but never wanted to do it. My Facebook page was good enough. Then I thought “wake up stupid” this is the right time since I am still home all the time and bored to death. By the end of the day, I was fully committed. I didn’t expect to have it come together so quickly. It happened naturally with a lot of help from Marty. Now instead of watching one dumb tv show after another, I write.

I chose my new tag line “A journey of cooking and living my way” because that’s what this blog means to me. This is where I am right here and right now. Thanks so much for coming along for the ride!

I just changed the tag line of my blog. I realized after speaking with my writing mentor Jon Katz, I needed to let my readers who don’t know me personally, figure out what my blog is all about. Jon said that the name “Julzie Style” suggests fashion. I can totally see that now.

Jon Katz is a an accomplished author, writer, teacher, reporter & photographer. Jon has written for some of the biggest publications…ever! Wikipedia can tell you all about him.

Since 2007 Jon has been busy with his own extremely successful blog titled “Bedlam Farm Journal”. If I knew how to do a URL link I would to his blog, but I am not there yet. Jon has been such a tremendous help, I appreciate the time he is taking to shape me into being a better writer. He is direct and so am I so we get along great!

Julzie Style refers to how I live my life. I do things my way; if it’s cooking, the way I dress or wear my hair. I also have my own style when I bellydance or when it comes to costuming. I listen to music that definitely would not be for everyone. Julzie style is how I talk or teach dance & cooking. Basically how I live my life as Julz.

I only found my “Julzie Style” about 12 years ago. People who know me personally know that my actual adopted name is Kathleen or Kathy. Truth be told I never felt like a Kathy. It always sounded funny to me. I didn’t like how it sounded when people sang happy birthday to me when I was a kid. I had a lot of nicknames from my friends and from Marty which was fine with me.

Let me tell you about Kathy. Kathy was a girl that felt like she had to be perfect all the time. That is why I am one of the biggest perfectionists around. I am very very hard on myself. I grew up thinking I had a debt to repay, to show my appreciation, maybe by being perfect would do it. Kathy did whatever she needed to do to try to please her parents especially her mother.

I was never able to forget I was adopted because until this day, I am still introduced as my parents adopted daughter Kathy. The day I was lucky enough to be adopted and join my parents lives has always been referred to as the day they “got me”. Even as a kid I remember thinking “got me”? It was like being other things to get like a new pocketbook or coat. I still hate it, but I have never said anything. Unless you are an adopted person you won’t get it.

Finally, I realized that nothing I ever did or will do in the future would be enough to repay the debt. I needed to stop being that needy little “adopted “girl who just wanted to be like a “real” daughter with no guilt or something to prove. It took the last straw on the camel’s back to make me want to be who I wanted to be. I wanted to shed the old Kathy and leave behind all the old baggage. I was not a Kathy, I was something more special than that. I was this sparkling, confident , outgoing woman. I can light up a room if I want to. I was a performer who performed regularly. I needed a name that filled all those things. It took me two years to find a name that I finally resonated with…Julz.

Marty and my sons, my belly dance sisters and people who really knew me made it a point to immediately start referring to me as Julz. It was weird at first, no one thinks it’s weird when we change our last name when we get married, but first name?

I decided that I was going to go by Julz 100 % all the time. People at work started to call me Julz and the transition was actually pretty easy. The dance world got it completely. The people who didn’t get and still don’t get it call me Kathy. My insides cringe when I hear it. Sometimes since it’s been so long, I don’t even realize they are talking to me. I tried to correct a couple people who know me for a long time, but they said they could never call me Julz or that they forget. They even type Kathy on my Julz Facebook page. Please don’t refer to me with a name at all then, that would be better.

I haven’t changed my name legally yet. I’ve been making up excuses. The little needy girl doesn’t want to hurt her adopted mother who named her Kathy. She hates the name Julz so out of respect to her I go by Kathy at the care facility she is at. On legal documents I am still Kathleen and keep thinking what a pain in the ass it would be to change power of attorney, mortgage, my license & passport. The medical world also still knows me as Kathy. Except my new doctor at Dartmouth Hitchcock, Dr. Coburn, found out I preferred Julz and made a special note in my chart for everyone to refer to me as Julz!

A couple years ago I found out in therapy that I was suffering with attachment disorder. I have been afraid that if I wasn’t perfect people would not want me around. This was profound and I finally had answers to why I was who I was for all those years.

This was an extremely hard piece for me to write, but when I said that my blog was going to honest and authentic I meant it. To not explain why and what “Julzie style” is would be a lie and a shame.

This blog is my next step on my journey and I am excited to be sharing it with everyone. So listen up…my name is Julz!!!! Julzie dances to her own drum!

I have taught lots of beginners how to cook, but I really love teaching people how to become better cooks. It’s my favorite kind of adult cooking classes to teach. It took me a long time to figure out these simple hacks. Before I even start, I want to say that the biggest way to save time and stress is to read the recipe that you are going to make first. Before you do anything, read the recipe all the way through so there won’t be any surprises when it is time to cook. Let’s start!

Before you start to prep anything get yourself a prep bowl. It can be any kind of bowl. It can even be a disposable container. It doesn’t have to be pretty, mine was a gift from my father in law and I use it every day. Keeping a prep bowl on your kitchen work space saves time, energy and a mess. Think of how many times you run back and forth to the garbage can. This stupid little thing will shock you how much time it saves. On big cooking days I empty mine two or three times.

Start with a clean kitchen and clean as you go. I cannot stress this enough. Starting any project with a mess makes the whole cooking experience overwhelming and you haven’t even started cooking yet. Take the time and do it. You will notice a difference.

Prep ahead as much as you can and your time spent cooking will be a breeze. Mise en place is a culinary term meaning to prep. If you watch cooking shows they always have everything in little bowls ready to go. This is when you chop, dice, measure your ingredients in your recipe. Then just like the magic of tv, you will be making dinner effortlessly like they do on your favorite cooking program. Maybe not quite in the beginning, but you will get better at it.

I know I know you don’t have time to prep, you are busy. You can prep anytime and you can do it instead of being on social media. Well it’s true. Even taking only 10 minutes you can get things prepped. You don’t have to prep all at once. When my kids were small I would do little things at a time, so when dinner came it was quick and easy.

Speaking of quick and easy, think about what is a weeknight meal and what is a weekend meal. I’m sure if any of my adult cooking students are reading this they are having flashbacks to me saying this over and over in class. For example a pork tenderloin cooks quickly and can be prepared and ready in less than 30 minutes. Great for a Tuesday night dinner. Make 2 and have leftovers for lunch. A pork roast which requires a longer cook time, may be less stressful on a Saturday night. Sundays are a great day to cook a lot and use these meals during the week or planning leftovers from your main dish. That’s another blog post.

If you want to try to experiment with a harder recipe let’s say a porchetta, do it on a day you actually have the time and energy. It should be a pleasant, fun learning experience. If it doesn’t come out? Again that another blog post of how I am when things don’t turn out how I want them to. Ask my family. LOL

I haven’t mentioned crockpot cooking for a reason and don’t get mad at me. Crockpot cooking requires little effort and skill since most recipes are dump and go. Anyone can make a meal in a crockpot or an instant pot, we are talking about wanting to be a better cook. Better cooks braise their meats for example. Better cooks also develop flavor during the cooking process and not just season once.

What’s the difference between dollar store herbs and spices or bulk ones you find in a health food store or kitchen specialty shop? We are lucky to have a place called The Market Wagon near us. These spices are fresh, sold in small quantities and are inexpensive. I passed around dollar store spices and fresh bulk ones and my students were surprised. One person didn’t know that bay leaves had a smell or that all the different kinds of paprika tasted differently.

If you don’t have a place to buy spices, at least do me a favor. Go through your spice cabinet and look at how old some of your spices are. If spices are old, they lose all their potency and flavor. If they were cheap to begin with, it happens even sooner. How long do you think they sat on the store shelf before you bought them? The herbs and spices I get have the date they were packaged on.

Unless you are doing lots of big batch cooking don’t get sucked into buying those large commercial kitchen containers. You know what ones I am talking about. You will never go through it quick enough, back to the losing flavor and potency thing. Caring about every ingredient that goes into your dishes will make them more delicious, making you a better cook. Good ingredients = good results.

Sharpen your knives they tell you. A dull knife is more dangerous than a sharp one. You know why? Because if its so dull that it can’t go through what you are trying to cut, the knife will slip or bounce off and cut your fingers. Kitchen stores have lots of options for sharpening your knives. Both expensive and less expensive. I am working on learning to use a wet stone to sharpen mine, but I am not there yet. If your knives are in really bad shape or have never been sharpened, this is something you absolutely have to do. Seriously!

Get yourself the right kitchen tools to make some jobs easier. I am not talking about all the useless gadgets they sell in stores. Most of them are ridiculous. The best money you can spend is on a couple different sizes of measuring scoops. Scoops not spoons. You should already have measuring spoons and cups for both liquid and dry measurements. I watch people struggle to make their cookies or their meatball the same size. When you use a scoop whatever it is you are making, it’s going to be the same size as the rest. When they are all the same size, they will cook evenly and some won’t be burnt or underdone.

These few things are just the beginning of becoming a better cook. I will be going over lots of things that most people don’t know are important….silver skin is just one of them.

There is a debate here in our house, how to properly eat a banana. Who knew there was a proper way to eat a banana. I think the opposite way that Marty and my younger son Sam do. They are both left handed thinkers. Smart and good at math, science, engineering and analytical. Neither of them could draw a stick figure to save their life. My older son Noah and I are right handed thinkers. We are smart too, but are more visual, creative and artistic. We can draw stick figures. LOL

Marty and Sam peel their bananas from the bottom and I peel mine from the top. They say it’s easier to peel it from the bottom, then you have a built in handle. They actually thought of this?

I tried peeling my banana from the bottom and it wasn’t easier for me. Every time I tried I squished the bottom of the banana. The worse part is this disgusting looking thing that is at the end of a banana. I honestly get queasy just looking at it. I can’t believe I ate so many of these nasty little things in my lifetime!

Is this important stuff? These types of discussions in our home turn into big discussions. The left handed thinkers are always trying to convince the right handed thinkers how to do things their way, or in their minds the right way. I really don’t care how they eat their bananas, I think its hilarious they care how I eat mine.

Well I’ll bet you never thought about how you eat a banana before….have you?

Hopefulness – “The feeling you have when you have hope. Hope-the general feeling that some desire will be fulfilled.” Definition by The Free Dictionary

We spent a long time in our production kitchen today, filling wholesale orders. After a quick lunch, we had a bunch of deliveries to make. While I was sitting in the passenger seat, I was looking at my social media pages and noticed how much hope was in the air. Everyone was posting how hopeful they were and that got me thinking of hopefulness.

Nothing says hopefulness like our dogs Otto & Klaus. They are full of hope. As soon as they hear me go into the kitchen and stand at my island workbench, their ears perk up. One second after they hear a knife slice through something, it doesn’t matter what, they come running and sit at my feet. Even if they are upstairs. This is also true of any rattling of plastic wrap or foil.

You would think that I fed them scraps and human food all day and night. It’s the direct opposite. Klaus has so many allergies that most bulldogs have, that we have to be careful what he eats. In the photos you can see a scab on his nose and his ears are a little red because he is still getting over a corn allergy. Yup, another thing added to the list.

I made a mad dash to the store last week very late in the day to buy a zero grain food, thank goodness it’s working and he likes it. The gluten free diet he’s been on wasn’t working anymore.

I’ve been a food detective my whole life. I’ve needed to keep a food journal for my own food allergies and what triggers my ulcerative colitis. When I needed to remove gluten from my diet I didn’t know it mascaraed around under so many names. I was sick for a long time figuring that out. Our older son Noah had so many food allergies and sensitivities when he was a toddler; I had to play Sherlock Holmes back then as well.

Taking Noah for allergy testing confirmed almost everything I knew. Allergy testing didn’t exist for food additives, so I figured out yellow dye, corn syrup and salicylates myself. A tough time taking away almost everything he loved, but the allergies and bad behavior went away quickly.

Every afternoon after lunch Otto starts staring me down. I know what he wants. He wants me to go upstairs and lay on my bed with him. Hopeful eyes right? After I give in, he lays down in the same place every time. He sleeps in a different part of the bed at night. Its like he’s my guard dog watching that no one comes in to disturb us. LOL

The most hopeful these guys are is to go out and play ball or go for a walk. They can be outside for 5 minutes or 5 hours; they would still be hopeful to play again. Any eye contact with either of them is misconstrued as playtime. We walk around not looking at them, until it is playtime.

I love these photos I took last summer and the big smiles on their faces. It reminded me how important being hopeful is.

A new laptop was delivered a few days ago. I signed for it from the Fedex guy. Marty came home from his farmers market and told me the laptop was for me. “I do not need a fancy laptop!!!!!” “Totally un necessary!” “Why did you do that?” Marty told me I needed the right tools to have a successful blog and that using my phone like I have been isn’t the right tool.

Did I need this or deserve this? Is my blog writing worthy of a new laptop? Is what I am writing worthy to have as a blog? Flashback to me being a stay at home mom. We felt it was very important for me to stay home with our boys Noah & Sam until they were both in school. Marty worked 3 additional side jobs to make this happen. He taught computer classes at night, worked at a friends hotdog wagon, was a DJ the list goes on. I was a really good stay at home mom and took it very seriously. If I was going to be staying home we were going to have a clean house, nice meals, activities for the boys, laundry done etc. I felt like everything had to be perfect all the time since this was job and I was always a hard worker. I made up a food budget and stuck to it the best I could at every food shopping trip. I was frugal, learned that cooking from scratch was more cost effective and our oldest boy had food allergies so it became necessary. I got the boys what they needed but I never got myself anything really. I felt bad or guilty spending money on myself and knew the money could go to more important things. Basically I didn’t feel worthy and not because anyone made me feel that way. Marty would get mad and tell me to buy myself whatever I needed or wanted and not second hand!!!!

After I went back to work I wasn’t the breadwinner. I was never the breadwinner. This made me feel the same way about buying myself things. It was all in my head. All my life I felt like I had to repay people for taking care of me and this included my husband. I am not sure he even knows I felt this way. He would buy me a new coat or slippers and I would get mad and say you shouldn’t have. Then it all changed!!!!

In March of 2017 I created the worlds only gluten free, no boil, package to pan to plate in 5 minutes German Spatzle. You can read about our story on our website www.vtspatzlecompany.com We sold our first package in June and there we were, brand new business owners!!!! I technically am the business owner. So guess what???? After we realized that this was a real business I was able to quit my real job in less than 2 months!!! I guess it was all in my head because I finally felt entitled to get myself some things. Not really frivolous things, just new things!!!!

So why when the new laptop came did I regress back to my old self???? I think because I don’t know if this blog is worth it. This is frivolous to me I guess. Whatever the case its water under the bridge and I fucking love my new laptop!!!! I felt so comfortable using it. Designing this damn blog is such an uncomfortable thing at least its nice getting pissed off at it using a beautiful brand new laptop!!!!!!