I don’t know how many times I’ve said I love prepping, food prep, that is. Today is a different kind of prep, colonoscopy prep.
I’m not going to talk about details to spare everyone, but I will say today has been the easiest fasting and prep day I’ve had in 40 years.
40 years? I’ve had to get colonoscopies regularly to keep a watch on my ulcerative colitis. It was embarrassing as a teenager, but I am used to it now.
In 2006, my doctor found a massive tumor attached to my right colon and appendix. I was awake enough during the procedure to know something was wrong. They gave me more drugs to keep me calm for the rest of the procedure.
Three days later, I was at an appointment with a surgeon, and six days later, I was in the OR having the tumor, right colon, and appendix removed. It was benign. Thank God!
It wouldn’t have been found if it weren’t for my bi-annual colonoscopy until it was too late. That’s why it’s essential to have it done for me and others without colitis.
What’s different about today’s prep is I slept in, then we went to work in the production kitchen making a slew of spätzle for this week’s delivery orders.
We weren’t done until almost 3:30 pm, which kept me busy and not thinking about food while on a liquid diet. I love food, cooking, and eating, so this is tough. I live to eat, not eat to live; in other words, eat to exist.
Yesterday, Marty got me a Kindle. I love reading, and even though I like the feel of a book in my hands, I don’t like buying and having books around. I tried the library, but they only had a few books I had on a long list.
I know I could get books from other libraries, but honestly, that’s too much work for me to do. I also don’t like driving to check out and return books.
I knew from my last colonoscopy prep back in 2020 any kind of social media was out since every post was about food, and I was starving.
After I publish this post, I’m going on Amazon and choosing my first book. I signed up for kindle unlimited and can also get magazines.
I never thought I’d be a Kindle person, but here I am. With the winter coming, I need to do something other than watch tv or be on social media.
My first half of drinking the prep went quickly and easily. The second half will be just as easy in a few hours. In the meantime, I am starving.
We plan to leave for Dartmouth Hitchcock around 6:30 am for a 9:00 am appointment. It’s a couple of hours away, with very few places to stop. This is stressful because what if I NEED to stop goes through my head the whole time Marty is driving.
Once tonight is over, and I am at Dart, the rest is a snap. I always look forward to the knock-out drugs, which makes me feel like I don’t have a care in the world.
That’s it; I’ll catch up with you when I am on the other side of this colonoscopy.
I hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving or a nice day for those who don’t celebrate it. Yes, I have a friend that is adamant about not “doing” Thanksgiving, but he did take his mom out to brunch.
I ended up throwing the wings in the stock since no one eats them.
As you know, I tried a different method for cooking my turkey this year, and it came out fantastic! Not only was it easy and fast, but this method produced the most tender and juicy turkey I have ever made. It was the best turkey we ever had, hands down!
Before and After
The turkey stock also came out better, flavorful, and clear. Again, it made a fantastic gravy, better than my usual turkey gravy. There was zero waste on the turkey since it was carved before cooking, just requiring slicing the breast before serving. So simple!
The breasts resting while the thigh & leg pieces were still in the oven cooking, which always takes longer, usually drying out the breasts in the meantime.
The carcass I used for the stock was transformed into “dog food.” I mixed the turkey, rice, carrots, and leftover green bean ends with some stock. I removed the fat from the stock, and even though I always season everything well with salt, I didn’t this time, knowing it would be ok for the dogs.
The trick of putting gravy on the platter before placing the turkey on it kept everything moist.
Otto had an upset belly while we were away last week. He had diarrhea multiple times every night we were gone. He wasn’t eating much, but he was drinking plenty of water. At first, we thought it was separation anxiety, but we’ve gone away before. Then I thought maybe he ate something disgusting in the yard or was getting old and sliding downhill.
Last night, I mixed some turkey and rice with his dry food, and he devoured it. He did at breakfast time and dinner tonight. He seems like he is feeling better; fingers crossed.
My kitchen hack to cut the ends off of green beans and have uniform-sized beans; the ends went into the dog food.
He hasn’t needed to go out in the middle of the night for the last two nights, so who knows? We have an appointment at the vet in December, but we could bring him in sooner if he didn’t get better.
The rest of the clear stock will be my “food” on Sunday. I have to consume only liquids for a colonoscopy on Monday morning at Dartmouth Hitchcock.
I’ve had so many colonoscopies over the years for my ulcerative colitis I’ve lost track. The procedure is a snap; drinking that nasty shit is the most challenging part I hate; the rest of it, I don’t mind.
Happy Friday! The week has flown by since we went away; I can’t believe it’s our farmers market day again already tomorrow. Have a great weekend! I’ll check in with you on Sunday.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! It’s weird to be sipping coffee and chatting on the phone with my sister this morning instead of running around getting the turkey in the oven and making turkey stock.
Yesterday, I broke down the turkey or cutting it into parts. I watched a Youtube video last week which demos a new and easier way to cook a turkey and I am trying it this Thanksgiving.
Following the demo video, I made a big pot of turkey stock with the carcass and turned it on last night. it has been on a slow simmer for about 14 hours. It smells so thanksgiving-ish in here already.
Yesterday, I prepped all the sides and just have to finish everything off. The turkey will only take 30 minutes to cook in the oven after browning the skin first. That’s fast!
We are having an early dinner so Sam can eat with Marty, Noah and me before he goes to work at the ER. I am thankful we can be together this year.
I wish you all a great day and hope everyone will have a table to gather around with others, enjoying whatever feast you fancy.
I am thankful for each of you and the meaningful life I live and the family and friends I share it with.
Have a great day and for the love of monkeys, try not to get stressed out! I did that for decades and learned it wasn’t worth it. 🦃🍁
On the Path train Sunday morning. We look tired AF!
We were planning on traveling to my biological mom’s house on Sunday morning, then Marty had the idea to leave from the farmers market in Troy and go into the city for dinner and breakfast, then drive to her place.
Newark Pennsylvania Station.
It was meant to be since he quickly found a hotel room in Newark, NJ, directly across from the train station; our Hilton Honors points come to the rescue again! The ride from Troy to Newark was under two and a half hours. We were there before 5 pm.
We hopped on the Path Train and took it to the World Trade Center stop. This was the same train ride I took daily when I worked downtown. As we got closer to the WTC, I became emotional about 9/11, thinking about the poor people on their way to work or at work on the most horrible day in American history.
We noticed see-through walkways on the floors when we got off the Path. The glass showed the original foundation and columns from the Twin Towers. I had to pull it together; I wasn’t expecting to see that or the other memorial items and reminders so we never forget what happened that day or those who lost their lives.
The new World Trade Center Train Station was beautiful and empty Sunday morning.
Next, we got on the 1 subway line and got off at Christopher Street. I found a 100% gluten-free restaurant I had never heard of before and made a reservation for 8 pm. I looked up gluten-free spots in Greenwich Village the two times I was there earlier this year, but this was the first time Wild popped up.
Wild was not only gluten-free, but the owners wanted it to be a safe place for GF people to dine at. They made everything from scratch and used local and organic products. It was an Italian place, like most Greenwich Village food spots, where the staff spoke with heavy Italian accents. The place was legit and small.
Our fried calamari and Marty’s Abruzzo lamb meatballs and rigatoni. The place was dark so are the photos I took. I don’t use filters; I post the real McCoy.
We didn’t mind being crammed into the small, noisy, busy restaurant filled with excitement and great energy. We were the oldest diners in the restaurant by 25 years, but that didn’t bother us in the least bit.
It was primarily young gluten-free women out to dinner with their girlfriends. There were men there too, but the ratio of women to men tipped the scales.
The food was incredible! We had the most delicious fried calamari we ever had, even before we had to go gluten-free. We have found gluten-free fried calamari at other restaurants, but this one went above and beyond. The squid was so tender, with a crispy exterior and excellent flavor. Their marinara sauce was delicious!
Marty’s dinner of house-made rigatoni with a lamb ragu was tiny Abruzzo meatballs like I made last week. Weird. I had house-made butternut squash ravioli in a tomato cream sauce. It was so good; I ate it so fast I didn’t get a photo of it.
The only bummer was when we asked our dashing young Italian waiter about dessert, he had to break the bad news to us; everything was sold out. Waaahhhhhh! Damn!
We headed back to our hotel, went to bed, and woke up, which felt like only an hour later; it was longer, but we were living in the New York minute and got back on the Path to go out to breakfast at the best gluten-free bagel shop in the country called Modern Bread and Bagel.
Sunday morning.
We ate at Modern Bread and Bagel in the city back in March up on the upper west side. This was a new location in Chelsea. We got off the subway on 14th Street, and the bagel place was across the street! Brilliant!
Modern Bread and Bagel is 100% gluten-free and kosher. We ordered our breakfasts and sat at a cute table for two. We sipped our coffees and ate our bagels like regular New Yorkers. It felt wonderful to feel like ordinary people and order whatever we wanted without worry in my favorite part of the city.
Everything bagel with veggie cream cheese, arugula, pickled onions, and tomato. They have great Americano coffee plus black and white cookies and rugelach to go. Yum!
We grabbed two black and white cookies and two chocolate chip rugelach and headed back to Newark. We got on the road at 11:00 am and headed to see my mom, an hour and a half away.
What a fun and spontaneous side trip. Marty and I learned during covid that we couldn’t keep waiting and making excuses for not doing the things we love to do. Yes, we were tired, and our legs felt like rubber after standing at the farmers market all day and then keeping up the fast pace of walking in the train stations and streets.
Every train we were on was clean! This train car just had its floor mopped! This was great to see how well taken care of everything was. The train riders were courteous to each other; New Yorkers are amiable people, and now what you think.
We both slept on the Path train in the morning on our way to Chelsea. I used to sleep on the Path every day, so this brought back some beautiful memories for me. We realized how easy traveling to the city is, and it doesn’t have to be a once-a-year thing; hell, I’ve been there three times this year!
We got home from my mom’s today, Tuesday afternoon. We had a lovely and fun visit with her. After we unloaded Skye, I made my mini pumpkin and pecan pie tarts for Thanksgiving.
Tomorrow I’ll do the rest of my Thanksgiving prep before I go to belly dance classes. Luckily, we weren’t flooded with orders like usual while we were away; it makes sense since almost every wholesale customer got their deliveries last week.
I love prepping and cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I am not doing anything fancy this year, just the basics. I will make my turkey as I saw on Youtube last week; I can’t wait to try it! I’ll let you know how it goes.
Travel safely, sharpen your knives before prepping, and don’t stress. The more things you do ahead will take a lot of stress away on Thanksgiving Day, I promise!
Before Marty and I created The Vermont Spätzle Company, I used to make regular spätzle like everyone in the world does, ours is the only one of its kind, and we make a lot of it. If you don’t know, we don’t use wheat in our spätzle, so it’s gluten-free, it’s also lighter, and you don’t have to boil it, just a quick sauté.
I used to make regular wheat spätzle maybe four times a year; I also used to make hot German potato salad from time to time as something different to serve. I should say that I haven’t made it often since the kids wouldn’t eat it or try it.
Hot German potato salad is a lost dish from the old country people used to make; I’m not sure if anyone makes it anymore. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it served at someone’s home or in a restaurant other than a German one.
Marty and his dad, Hans, used to belong to the Vermont Garden Railway Society. Members take turns hosting the event. The summer after Marty’s mother passed away; it was our turn. His dad was looking forward to it and was excited to come to our place and show off the garden railroad.
This was many years ago, long before our spätzle business. We didn’t have Otto and Klaus yet, so the grass was in great shape. However, the train layout needed work, along with the numerous flower beds and plants in the layout.
The property needed to be immaculate, and it was. Our local garden club sponsors tours of the people’s gardens and properties in town. The tour was the day after the train meet, so it worked out perfectly.
At the train meets, people bring potluck-type dishes. I told the club that I would provide the food without worrying about cross-contamination issues since we were extremely gluten sensitive.
People try their best to make safe gluten-free food but don’t realize gluten masquerades as many other ingredient names. They also don’t understand using a spoon from a gluten-laden dish and then taking something gluten-free with the same spoon will make me sick for close to a week. It’s true.
I served grilled bratwurst and other German sausages, red cabbage with apples and onions, hot German potato, and a black forest sheet cake for the train meet. I made a couple of other things, but I don’t remember what they were.
I made more dressing than usual since we won’t be eating it for a few days; if not, the potatoes will suck up the sauce, which will be dry.
When I planned the menu, I didn’t know that 80% of the train club members and their wives who also came along were Germans. German people may be hard to please when it comes to German food, but I knew my dishes were delicious and if they hated it, so be it.
We had a gorgeous summer day and a big turnout for the train meet. I finished preparing the German buffet and called everyone to lunch. I admit I was nervous when grilling the sausages and reheating the red cabbage and potato salad. I took some vodka from the freezer and drank a small glass of “ice water.” I wasn’t nervous anymore.
Sam was in the 7th grade and looks so little in the green shirt on the right!
I didn’t take any food photos; I didn’t even think about it since I was scurrying around getting everything out hot at the same time. I wish I had, though. The black forest cake was amazing!
The club members were older people, very conservative and traditional. Some looked stern others seemed nice. While they filled their plates, I refilled my “ice water.” I watched them eat, and everyone ate silently. Did they like it or not? It was hard to tell.
I thought they ate silently because maybe that is how they were raised. After they finished eating, I got compliments galore. Everyone loved the food! The one man who seemed stern said to me in a whisper, “Your red cabbage was even better than my mother’s.”
I started to cut the black forest cake and handed it out. I was relaxed and chatted with everyone. When someone told me how delicious the black forest cake was, I said to them that was the biggest compliment since it was gluten-free. Gluten-free, they gasped; I laughed and was pleased.
One man spoke up, almost for the group. He started by saying they didn’t know what to expect before arriving. He went on to say what a lovely hostess I was; the food was better than his mother’s German food too.
He added I made everyone feel welcome and made everything look effortless. Then he complimented Marty and Sam on the outdoor garden railway.
This photo is not from the train meet but from the same week. I didn’t dress quite as revealing for the meet, but I did wear my skull necklace! LOL.
I stood there in my black sundress, both arms with tattooed sleeves, and my whole back covered in ink as well. When I talked to the wives earlier, they stared at my nose and the medusa piercing under my nose. I had an excellent buzz cranking and didn’t let it bother me.
I think the women were especially ready to judge me, but after meeting me, my tattoos and piercings didn’t matter, or that I was at least 20 years younger than everyone present. I was judged on my food and entertainment skills, not my appearance. Maybe I changed their minds about people living the tattooed lifestyle?
The railroad society members enjoyed themselves, and so did I, something I didn’t expect to happen. I stressed about it for a couple of weeks; I wanted everything to be perfect, which never happens.
In the end, we pulled it off. Marty and Sam did a lot of work outside to get everything ready for the meet, and it all paid off; people were impressed with their garden railroad!
This is the recipe I use from my 1950 Betty Crocker cookbook. I tweak it a little to my taste, but it’s delicious as is. I quadrupled it for the train meet, and it came out perfectly.
Today, I am making a batch of German potato salad to take on the road with us this weekend; it will go with some German sausages. We are going to visit my mom (biological) for a couple of days. Yay!
We haven’t seen each other since last May, and we look forward to it. She and I are alike in many ways, and I love getting to know her better whenever I am with her. Marty notices how our mannerisms and other things are blatantly similar even though sometimes we can’t see them.
I respect my mother’s wishes and privacy, so even though I will take some photos of Marty and me, I won’t be posting any of her, but I will write about our visit. We won’t be back until Tuesday, so that I will catch up with you guys then. I plan to unplug and stay off my email and social media accounts, enjoying the people I am with in person.
Happy Friday and have a nice weekend, everyone! By the way, if you have a large turkey in the freezer, take it out tonight and defrost it properly and safely in a pan in the refrigerator; you’ll thank me Wednesday when you start your holiday prepping. ❤️
I found out on Sunday we’ve been eating spaghetti and meatballs wrong. I watched a Youtube video about tiny meatballs from Abruzzo, Italy. I added the link to the Youtube video to my “Always a student” blog post.
Right after I watched the video, I knew I wanted to make those tiny meatballs right away, so I did, and they came out fantastic. Marty and Sam loved them too!
The tiny meatballs were fun to eat and reminded me of those little meatballs in Spaghettos that I ate when I was little. I always pierced a meatball first, then used my fork to get the rings on the tines of my fork.
Of course, I got yelled at for playing with my food, but I still tried every time I ate Spaghettos. I loved the little hotdog version too!
These tiny meatballs are not for the faint of heart when working in the kitchen and not for someone who doesn’t enjoy cooking to attempt. Trust me on this one.
Tiny meatballs on a standard 16-inch pizza pan. No, I didn’t count how many there were.
Measuring the 1/2 tsp of meatball mix took me a while, but I didn’t mind since I love doing kitchen tasks and prep. Rolling the meatballs went pretty quickly, and of course, I had to space them out evenly because I am a perfectionist asshole in the kitchen.
After I cooked the meatballs, I added them to the sauce and let it cook until it reduced. I let it cool and popped it in the fridge until tonight. I am a firm believer that sauce always tastes better the next day. These tiny meatballs and the sauce tasted good indeed!
I always have to taste a meatball before I put the pot in the fridge.
Even though we are noodle makers, I made gluten-free spaghetti because I wanted the whole experience; plus, we don’t have any spätzle at the moment since we are only making it for wholesale orders right now. Every noodle counts.
Worth the time and effort! Tiny, tasty, and tender. The tomato sauce was like velvet with a gorgeous color and sheen. Mmmm!
The interesting thing about these meatballs was instead of adding milk as I do with my soft and fluffy meatballs, the chef used ricotta cheese which I may continue to use even in my regular-size meatballs. He also mixed the meatballs differently; I will continue doing it his way since I like how they came out.
Will I make tiny meatballs again? Totally! Will I do it every time I make meatballs? No, they are time-consuming. However, I will be in the cooking mood on a rainy, snowy, or yucky day. This recipe gets two thumbs up! 👍 👍
While I’ve been teaching cooking and belly dancing for a long time, I am always a student. I am constantly searching for new techniques and strive to get better every day with both my passions.
For example, I learn from each new student I teach at belly dance. What are their strengths and weaknesses? How do they hold their weight, or can they ground themselves? Do they have body awareness?
According to Healthline…Body awareness is how conscious and connected you are to your own body. It’s also known as kinesthesia or the awareness of the position and movement of body parts in relation to muscles and joints. In short, it’s how you recognize where your body is in space.
I use body awareness when teaching dance moves with this similar technique… A simple way to increase body awareness is to practice a type of meditationcalled the body scan. This is a technique of intentionally paying attention to different parts of the body in sequence, and to really focus on the sensations that are present without judging them. Source UVA Health
When I am teaching any dance move, I ask everyone to notice what side of their body their weight is on and what part of their feet or legs they are using. Is their chest lifted? Are they looking down? It goes on and on but makes people understand what I am feeling, not just doing.
In the last belly dance class my friend Bethany taught with me, I learned something new when making the ribcage rotation move. I heard her say she put her weight slightly back for a more extensive range of motion.
I am positive Bethany said something similar over the decade we taught together, but this was the first time I was ready to hear it. That’s right, hear it.
Three weeks ago, when we explained how to turn for one move, Kathleen shared with the students what she did with her one foot. We tried it, and it worked easier than how we were doing it. Has she always said that, and I wasn’t ready to hear that tip too?
When I say ready to hear, I mean at the point or level of understanding what your body has to do to better the technique of the move you are working on.
Students will always say, “Oh, now I get it; you never said that before.” I always reply, “No, you weren’t ready to hear it before.” Ask any of my students because this couldn’t be closer to the truth.
The same thing applies to cooking. I am a great cook. I’ve cooked professionally and love to cook at home and entertain. I am not a chef; I am a cook. I taught myself everything I know and have been practicing for decades.
I cook a lot, two meals every day. That’s a shit ton of cooking, but I love it. It’s my relaxation, how I show people how much I love them and how I can express myself through my food. Like dance, it’s my creative outlet.
Saturday, we had an unexpected absence from our farmers market in Troy. Marty drove himself to the ER because his heart was in A-fib. Did he wake me to go with him? Of course not. He’s a stubborn asshole of a German, that’s why. He wanted to let me sleep. That was a nice gesture, but I was upset, to say the least.
When he got home from the hospital, he asked me if I still wanted to go to the market. The first thing I think I asked him was if he was out of his fucking mind, then I went on to say it was too late to go to the market, he was awake all night, and my back was still killing me. I also needed to pick up a new prescription for him at 11 am.
How did we spend our “sick day” on Saturday? It’s easy to go down the rabbit hole when watching YouTube. Marty can get lost for hours watching foreign food factories make different products. With no talking, just machinery sounds.
One night when I got home from belly dance, Sam reported that Marty had been watching videos of Korean food factories since I left 5 hours ago. We died laughing when Marty said it was interesting.
On Sunday morning, we stumbled on a series called “Not another cooking show.” The guy was a guido-type chef from NY, and we liked him. We watched him cook a few dishes, including how he makes his Thanksgiving turkey, and he introduced us to mini meatballs. He blew my mind! Seriously, he did; it was brilliant! 🤯
I will be making my turkey stock for gravy and turkey his way. Where has this guy been hiding for so long? He has dozens of shows making many of my favorite or most popular foods. I can’t believe he never came up before on Youtube.
He is an excellent teacher who explains everything clearly and shows his technique using a dozen different cameras to catch the correct angles. He has a good personality and is cut to the chase like I am.
I NEVER buy a kitchen gadget based upon watching someone else using an item; I always thought it was a paid endorsement or a scam; until today. I went on Amazon and purchased the fat separator he used with a release button on the bottom. Again, where has this thing been for the number of gravies, stocks, and soups I make?
The spätzle orders are pouring in for Thanksgiving, and I started feeling overwhelmed today. I had to tell myself we needed to fill one order at a time, take one production day at a time, put our heads down and work our asses off. Our distributor has a reduced delivery schedule next week, so things must be brought to them sooner than usual.
Late this afternoon, while I made tonight’s dinner, I also made tomorrow night’s since I have a follow-up appointment at my doctor’s office in the afternoon. Having dinner almost ready to go will help make things smoother when I get home, and we are starving. This takes the pressure off me, making it worthwhile.
I made the mini meatballs and sauce by following the Youtube guy’s video. I followed the meatball part exactly but made my sauce the way I usually make it. I tasted one of those delicious little balls and was happy with how they came out.
The guy tells his audience this mini meatball dish is a dish of love, and it is. I like getting into the zone when doing kitchen prep and banging these suckers out quickly for the first time. Let someone else make it for you if you don’t like to cook. It is a lot of work if you aren’t used to cooking.
It’s late, and we must be in the production kitchen before dawn tomorrow morning, so good night! I’ll let you know if the mini meatballs were a hit or not.
The hot and cold weather makes my arthritis unbearable. My back and left hip have been hurting since Monday. Today, is the worst.
At belly dance classes on Wednesday, my back and hip hurt so bad it made me stop a couple of times. I can always push through pain, but it was tough.
Production this week was brutal so I was happy today I only had to go to Saratoga, NY to make a couple of deliveries. Ouch!
The only part of the trip that wasn’t horrible was driving with the heated seats which I keep them on all year because of my back.
Everywhere was crowded since it is a holiday. I was behind every slow driver possible and the ride home took forever.
Right now, I’m laying on a heating pad and trying to relax to get some relief. I’ve had arthritis since my 20’s so this is nothing new, just cumbersome.
Happy Friday, we are meeting friends at the Inn across the street for a drink later, this will not stop me from doing that.
For the last few years, I’ve been slowly getting rid of junk; I should say ridiculous shit we’ve kept around for decades. I no longer have a sentimental attachment to things; a few years ago, I did get rid of some kitchen items I regretted during the holidays.
I forgot I gave away things I used when making a holiday meal for more than 4 of us. I quickly made do with what I had, so keeping it wasn’t that important.
Ten years ago, I purged my personal belongings throughout the summer. It took nine contractor-size bags to donate or throw away things I didn’t need. Why in fucks name did I still keep stretched-out hair scrunchies in a drawer with other 80s shit. I lugged that crap four times when we moved.
My thoughts were that I didn’t want my boys to have to go through stupid stuff after I was gone. All it did was take up space and was utterly unnecessary to save. I didn’t want to alarm my family, thinking I was suicidal again, so I did it slowly, one bag at a time.
In 2013, my adopted mother, Eileen, had a stroke. It was determined early on that she would never be able to return to her apartment. I was grieving her loss of independence and dreading the thought of cleaning out her apartment. She had a lot of stuff!
Marty and I moved her by ourselves from NJ to VT to a 2-bedroom apartment after she sold her house in Iselin in only nine days. No inspections, sold as is. The good news was she sold quickly.
The bad news was that it was a HUGE, GIGANTIC job moving all her and my father’s things they had accumulated for 39 years in such a short period, with two young children to worry about.
We threw out, donated, and brought the rest of the stuff to VT. We hated it, but it had to be done. Was Eileen any help? What do you think? Not really. My role as Cinderella was making a comeback.
Then guess what happened? Two years after, she was living in her lovely garden apartment with a nice patio; she decided she wanted to be on the second floor right above where she was living in a one-bedroom apartment.
I nearly exploded and was barely able to hold it together. Marty had the same reaction when I told him she needed to be upstairs by the end of the month. UGH!! This woman thought of no one but herself. She had to downsize since the apartment was smaller. Not a problem for her; she sold her furniture to buy new stuff. For a shopaholic like Eileen, this was a dream come true.
We thought lugging her shit out of the moving van into the first-floor apartment was tough, but we had to move everything up a long narrow flight of stairs. She had an attic in this apartment where we needed to store many of her things using one of those pulldown ladders. Did I mention this was in the middle of the summer, and we both felt like we had heat stroke? UGH!
Over the two years after she moved to VT, it was apparent she bought many new clothes, shoes, handbags, jackets, and jewelry. So much I’ll jump ahead; she spent all my dad’s insurance money and the proceeds from selling her house; she had to go bankrupt in 2009. This was shocking to us. What a waste!
So back to the beginning of the story. Since she would be residing in a care facility, I had to move her belongings out of that apartment again! Alone because Marty was working up in Rutland, VT, and not Bennington like he did for the last move.
My mother had four large closets packed with clothes, shoes, scarves, and handbags. The attic was stuffed with more stuff. I was so overwhelmed and only had a month to get it done since I wasn’t going to pay out of my pocket for another month’s rent.
This almost killed me physically and emotionally. Plus, she was a constant, demanding bitch wondering why I wasn’t spending more time with her at the care facility. UGH! I almost had a nervous breakdown, which also tormented my ulcerative colitis.
In the end, I took an enormous amount of brand-new clothes, shoes, and handbags, all with the tags still on them, to a consignment store. I got a whopping $165 for all of it. I used that money to buy big storage totes at Home Depot. There were 27 oversized totes of clothing, shoes, coats, handbags, and other items.
I made 17 trips to Goodwill, getting rid of stuff that couldn’t go to the consignment store. I am not exaggerating; she had so many clothing and accessories.
She bought one in every color. Every top, turtleneck, sweater, pant, scarf, and shoe, you name it, was in every color she could find. A lot of the items still had tags on them. The funny thing is, she wore the same shit every time I saw her.
No wonder she went bankrupt; afterward, she must have used my dad’s pension and social security for shopping since she had no more credit cards. She always said she was barely getting by and was afraid she would run out of money. She still got her mani, pedi, and hair done, though.
After sorting through and moving, all that stuff made me sick. It made me never want to go shopping again. I still hate shopping. She ruined it for me.
Time ran out on me, so we had to rent a storage unit to bring her kitchenware, china, pots, pans, and the rest of everything.
I sold the furniture; there was no fucking way Marty and I were going to carry it down those stairs after struggling to get it up. People got a good deal since everything was in good condition. I used that money to pay for the large storage unit. The people who bought the furniture had to move it themselves.
The day I finished cleaning and closed up the apartment for good, I had a mini nervous breakdown. I sat on the wood floor and cried until I ran to the bathroom I had just cleaned and puked.
Then I cried more. Then I got angry. Then I cried more. I didn’t even have the energy to stand up and drive home. Did I mention that she was still badgering me about why I wasn’t spending enough time with her?
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to purge our basement. Back to the why should the kids have to clean out all our shit someday popped back into my mind. I made an announcement that no one could ask or look at what I was throwing away. If it were something important, it wouldn’t have been down in the basement for years and years.
This was week two; I decided to go through a large storage cabinet. Then I saw it. The twenty-pound bag of costume jewelry I shoved in there nine years ago. I went through her real jewelry when I packed her things up, which didn’t take long since I realized she had hocked it all to go shopping. WTF was wrong with this woman?
I took the heavy bag upstairs and noticed I neatly put items in jewelry boxes. I must have gotten sick to my stomach or mad at that point; I just threw the rest in a plastic bag, which ripped; because it was so heavy, I shoved it into one of her expensive sturdy tote bags.
Today, I was hoping to find some pieces of jewelry I liked since none of her clothing or shoes fit me; everything was too small or short. As I went through the shitty junk jewelry, I felt that same anger return again. I felt sick to my stomach. I never shed a tear when she passed away and thought maybe seeing this stuff may make me mushy and cry. Well, that didn’t happen.
I decided instead of throwing it all away; I would put aside dress-up jewelry for a few little girls I knew. There was plenty to go around. I found a few things I kept and decided that if I didn’t wear them in a year, I’d get rid of them too.
Dress-up jewelry for some little friends in a small number of trinket boxes she had.
I saved one small box of gold jewelry if I ever have a granddaughter someday. I also kept one small box of real gold items she must have missed when she hocked everything my dad ever bought her. I put the box of ugly gold jewelry in a safe to cash in someday.
The stuff I kept, which I will probably not wear. The cameo will go in my Halloween costume box.
The good news is I filled a recycling container and trash can with useless shit from the basement, too—a pretty good start with the purging project!
I needed to write about this tonight. I absolutely have to let it go. Everything is finally gone, so there is no use in staying angry or upset about it anymore. This woman pushed me over the edge so many times I honestly don’t know how I did it.
Oh, I know how and why I did it; I promised my father before he died, we would always watch over and take care of her, which we did for 21 years. That was a promise I didn’t know how difficult it would be.
My writing mentor and friend Jon Katz challenged me a while back and told me to think of why and how I am and to share it with my readers. I wrote over a year and a half ago about how I hated pampering. He challenged me on that blog post with a phone call. Lol.
Guess what? I finally know! Because my mother was a pampered princess! She got her nails done every week. Every month, she got a pedicure, haircut, and color. She didn’t do the dishes because of her nails. Dragged my father shopping or out to eat constantly because she didn’t like to cook.
After I moved to VT and she spent years bitching that she had to clean, she finally got a cleaning lady because she didn’t have me as her maid anymore. (BTW, she automatically thought I would clean her apartment when she moved to VT, and I asked her if she was kidding.)
I’ve lived my entire life since I was 9, trying to act the exact opposite of her, which isn’t hard to do since I am nothing like her in the first place. I am a lot like my biological mom, which I absolutely love. I am so happy I have her in my life.❤️
Thanks for listening; I really needed it. I feel better now.
I love Chinese food! I love Chinese and Italian food so much that I could eat them every day and never tire of it. This was the biggest dilemma for me to choose when we went out for my birthday dinner when I was little. Chinese or Italian?
For many years Marty and I were unable to eat many of the Chinese dishes we love so much because they contain soy sauce which contains wheat, or dishes that are fried in the same oil that is used for wheat items. That’s called gluten cross-contamination.
Last year, we learned from a couple at the Troy Farmers Market who are gluten-free, not by choice like us, about a Chinese place in Latham, NY, that they love. Marty and I were like, what? Don’t tease us.
Sure enough, Ala Shanghai has many dishes we have missed. Everything is clearly marked on the menu, and the staff is careful about cross-contamination. The food and service are wonderful. It was last year’s food miracle for us!
We had a big delivery day on Thursday after production, which ended in the Albany area. We had to go to Troy, to the Atrium Building, where we set up our vendor booth for the first indoor market on Saturday.
It was almost 4 pm when we were done, and hadn’t eaten lunch yet. We went to our favorite place Ala Shanghai! We’ve tried a few things on their menu, and everything is delicious, but we both keep ordering Sesame Beef in Brown Sauce with Rice; every single time.
It’s pieces of lacquered crispy pieces of beef in a delicious sauce and with sesame seeds. It is so good that I get so sad while eating it that it will disappear. This happens to me a lot when I eat something I love; the happiness turns to dread until I can eat it again.
We found out a long time ago food is not the same when it’s take-out. I firmly believe besides pizza; most things lose their crispiness or freshness when shoved in a container to keep them warm. Soups, cold sandwiches, and mushy things are usually ok, though.
One day when we were having lunch at Ala Shanghai, we were sitting next to a young Chinese couple. They had so much food on their table and ate slowly. We noticed they kept their rice in the little bowl it comes in and used it as a resting place for the food on their chopsticks.
There are always plenty of Chinese couples and families in Ala Shanghai, and I noticed them eating this way as well. I tried it, and it’s brilliant! It took me 55 years to learn this or pay attention to how other cultures eat.
The people I watched didn’t load up the plate the restaurant provides for your entree; instead, they put the bowl of rice in the middle of the plate. When you take a piece of food with your chopsticks from a platter that is too big for one bite, you rest it on top of the rice. The rice soaks up all the flavors and is eaten slowly during the meal.
The other dish I order every time is Steamed Shrimp Dumplings. Dumplings are usually not gluten-free; oh, how we missed them terribly. Ala Shanghai has many different types of dumplings we can’t have, but they have the shrimp one, and I love shrimp. Double score!
The servers are always careful that the small bowl of soy sauce to dip the shrimp dumplings is gluten-free. The dumplings are made fresh, in-house. We have watched servers sit at tables after the lunch rush making dumplings for dinner.
The shrimp inside the dumpling wrapper is flavored with garlic, toasted sesame oil, and snaps; it’s so fresh and crisp when you eat it. The dumpling wrappers are delicate and look like tiny parcels of deliciousness. Mmmmmm!
I made Italian food tonight that was so good I could have easily overeaten, but then I would have felt uncomfortable and upset with myself for making a pig of myself. I always put my fork down the second I feel full; this is dedication when I eat something I love. I must remind myself there will be leftovers to enjoy the next day.
I took demo photos of the dinner I made tonight. It has options to be healthier and even vegan if that’s what you want. I have to write the recipe and will share it when I am done. I took photos of a kitchen hack that made food prep faster.
Happy Friday! Have a great weekend! I’ll catch up with you guys soon!
