Posted on

Feast of the Seven Fishes…

I grew up not knowing any of my nationalities. If you have recently joined my blog, I was adopted. People tried to guess my nationality for years.

The number one thing people guessed was Italian, then Jewish and Mediterranean, coming in third place. I honestly thought I was those things myself. These photos are good examples.

My adoptive mother told me year after year that I could wear green on St. Patrick’s Day since “Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day,” almost rubbing it in because she was Irish and a bitch.

Christmas 1986, did I look Italian or what? I was a full-on Jersey girl guidette who gave the Brooklyn girls a run for their money. Lol.

Our family didn’t have a traditional Christmas anything when it came to food. I remember eating an early snack on Christmas Eve with my dad at his Aunt Fran & Uncle Eddie’s place.

Fran’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Spano, were right off the boat from Sicily and spoke no English. Food and music are universal languages. I loved being around the Spanos.

When I was little, we would go to my great-grandma’s place for Christmas Eve. My cousins were there, and it was fun. I don’t remember anything about food, so it had to be unremarkable, like cold cuts and salads.

After Great Grandma passed away, we moved to Iselin, 15 minutes away from Elizabeth, NJ. My Aunt Fran and the rest of my dad’s side of the family didn’t want us to move away.

My mother didn’t like any of them, including my Mema. She couldn’t wait to get away from them. I was sad and afraid when we moved; I was nine.

After we moved away, we went out to eat on Christmas Eve. I hated it and would look at the other poor children in the restaurant. They probably had a mother that didn’t like to cook too.

When Marty and I got married, I wanted to be sure we began our traditions for the holidays. However, It took six years for that to happen.

Our first Christmas tree was in 1989, and our first barn apartment was decorated for Christmas.

Right from the start, both of our mothers would ruin every holiday by fighting over who got us and putting unfair expectations and obligations on us. It was awful.

It got so bad one year, and we were tired of it. We decided the following year not to celebrate Christmas at all. No gifts, no tree, we ate Chinese food like Jewish people did on Christmas.

After that year, I volunteered to work on Christmas Eve and open the store I worked at bright and early on the 26th. That solved the problem we had. We would visit sometime in mid-December, and the pressure wasn’t as bad.

This tree is the year Noah was born in 1985. We decorated it long before he was born.

The year Noah was born, on December 18, I told everyone that my children would always wake up in their own beds on Christmas morning. 

Since he was born a week before Christmas, both sets of parents and Marty’s brother Andy were at our place for the holiday.

The whole thing was a complete blur to us, and quite frankly, I didn’t give a fuck what anyone did, ate, or if they were fighting or killing each other. 

The following year, we finally celebrated the holidays the way we wanted, which was wonderful! We always had a real tree, something I never had, and collected ornaments for the boys as they grew

We could have more grown-up meals when the kids were a little older. I decided we would do the Italian Feast of the Seven Fishes on Christmas Eve.

I usually make clams, shellfish, calamari, and maybe flounder this year. I always make fresh pasta, gluten-free, of course.

Marty chose his family tradition of pea soup for Christmas Eve lunch and his traditional breakfast on Christmas morning, German pancakes with lots of fillings and toppings.

Homemade split pea soup with a balsamic reduction and German pancakes hot and fresh.

We decided on prime rib, popovers, and a potato and vegetable dish for Christmas dinner. Look at that gorgeous Christmas dinner! I’m drooling just looking at it. That year, I made a spinach souffle that turned out perfectly for my first time making one.

I learned about the Feast of the Seven Fishes from my Aunt Fran and some Italian friends I worked with. I went to their homes and saw the preparation in full mode. Oh, how I wanted to stay and eat with them and not in some restaurant.

You don’t have to be Italian to celebrate the feast. I was looking for something that felt traditional to me and made me feel like I belonged somewhere.

The Feast of the Seven Fishes originated in Southern Italy and Sicily by the Roman Catholics. The practice is known throughout Italy and Italian homes here in America. 

The Christmas Eve meal is very serious business regarding religion, but more importantly, it’s all about the food. 

This is an understatement. Family members start prepping the food days before. Everyone has certain dishes they are in charge of, and of course, there is a lot of loud talking in the kitchens.

I don’t think I know any Italians who don’t talk loud; it felt natural since I am a big mouth.

While the feast name has seven fishes, some families have three dishes, others as many as 9 or 11. The number always has to be an odd number for some reason.

Why seven fishes, you may ask. Most people believe seven represents the seven sacraments in the Catholic faith. It makes sense since I had to know those sacraments in and out when I attended Catholic school.

Roman Catholic people always fasted on Fridays and before the big holidays like Easter and Christmas, eating only fish as a vigil. That’s how it started in Italy.

Not growing up in an Italian family, I wasn’t introduced to a variety of fish like salted cod, other varieties of fish, eel, baby octopus, squid, and more.

I can’t even fathom eating an eel or watching it being nailed down to a cutting board and the skin peeled off. 🤢

Calamari and shellfish I knew, along with a regular Friday night supper of fish sticks or Gordon’s Fishermen’s breaded cod fish filets. I loved them, and fish sticks with lots of tartar sauce.

I usually make at least three fish on Christmas Eve. Like others in the past, this year’s menu does not have authentic dishes, but that doesn’t matter. Here’s my menu:

When planning a holiday meal, I like to visualize what the colors of food will look like and what vessel I will serve them in. This is super fun for me.

I’d love to hear what some of your traditions are. You can email me directly at julziestyle@gmail.com. Food and traditions are an excellent way of connecting with people.

I am 78% Irish for new readers, which was a shocker to me, but I am happy to be part of two beautiful biology Irish families now.

Posted on

Decking the halls…

I loved autumn this year. I have embraced the dark and have the holiday spirit. This hasn’t happened since our boys were younger. 

The change that occurred in me after being diagnosed with lung disease has been life-changing in the best kind of way.

I began getting excited for Christmas at the beginning of October. With Nelly still a curious and playful puppy, I knew I needed to simplify things. 

I made “nature ornaments for the two small trees in the two front windows of our living room, which I took out of the neighbor’s trash.

The tree ornaments are white and brown: snowballs, icicles, pine cones, and tiny acorns. The trees are pretty much identical, like twins.

The trees came out exactly how I imagined. If I stick with the woodland tree theme next year, I will have to forage for regular-size acorns instead of the teeny ones I used this year.

I would not be using my collection of vintage glass Christmas balls from the 1940s that belonged to my Mema. They are too precious to me if one gets broken from the chaos.

I’ve always wanted a Christmas tree in my bedroom, and this was the perfect year to dig out that 3 ft tree we had in the basement. 

I purchased inexpensive plastic Christmas balls and wired ribbons to decorate my small French tree. 

This tree is very romantic and fits in perfectly with our Parisian bedroom. I love this tree and how beautiful it came out.

Next, I got out another tree from the basement, a tiny tree I used in the dining room with those vintage ornaments. I decided to put the little tree in the kitchen.

I’ve always loved when kitchens are decorated, but I’ve only seen them done in magazines and home/decor shows. I finally got to do mine on a very small scale.

I also found a use for a chalkboard I missed when we took it down when we renovated the kitchen two years ago. An idea sprung into my head, and voila, it’s now a menu board for the upcoming week.

I think it’s finally time to talk about the title of this piece, Decking the halls, which is named after the song Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly.

The lyrics to this famous song were written in 1862 by a Scottish musician, Thomas Oliphant.

The word deck comes from the Dutch word dekken, which means to adorn with something ornamental. The word deck is also used when describing a well-dressed man; “He’s all decked out in his Sunday best.”

As a child, I knew the words to Deck the Halls; we all did, but I never thought about them. Until this year, I still never gave the lyrics a thought.

Decking the halls means to decorate one’s home, not just the halls at Christmas time., everywhere. Decking the halls was initially done for entertaining purposes. 

This year, I “decked the halls” very minimalistic and understated. It suits this period of time in our empty nest home and decor.

I changed things up outside as well. The front porch is different than I have for years. It looks much better with the greenery and lights than the usual icicle lights that found their way to the back deck this year.

I decked the halls over three weeks and didn’t kill myself to finish it in one day. Now that I think of it, that was ridiculous. Why the hell did it have to be one day?

This is a different year and a different holiday season to go with the different me. It took me until this year to realize I didn’t have to run around and stress myself out over Christmas.

I also realized I didn’t always have to spend hours trying to find those perfect gifts for people.

This year, I bought gifts with my heart and am looking forward to wrapping them; this has never happened before. I hated to wrap Christmas gifts and left them until the last minute.

Sam is a perfectionist in gift wrapping and puts us all to shame. 😂

I wish you all a great week and wanted to remind you to slow down, enjoy the holidays for what they are, and be grateful for the people you spend them with. Cheers!

Posted on

Soy curls…

Sweet and sour “pork.”

Let’s clarify: I am not a vegetarian or vegan. Life is too short not to indulge in foods that you love. Everything in moderation is my motto.

We were vegetarians for a couple of years back in our twenties, but at the end of the day, we are carnivores. 

I have been making meatless meals at least twice a week for some time now. I still use beef or chicken stock and dairy in those dishes.

Marty has high cholesterol, and we should watch our diets for heart-healthy reasons. Yes, I usually post foods that are indulgences, but why can’t healthier recipes taste like them, too? 

I support vegetarian diets as a healthier lifestyle while eating whole-natural foods. I can also understand why people do it for ethics.

I can’t think about ethics, or I won’t want to eat meat either. It’s a circle of life thing; we don’t have teeth to eat only vegetables.

A vegan lifestyle is a choice, and many times, food is laden with many scientific and chemical byproducts and is something I do not support.

I support people as vegans if they are eating whole-nature foods. However, many vegans I know have horrible diets and eat shitty fattening foods and NO vegetables. Weird.

If vegans are craving a bloody hamburger and are eating all that chemical-filled impossible stuff, well, dammit, it may be time to reevaluate what in the fuck you are doing. Why are you craving bloody meat? 

Some people’s bodies need the amino acids and iron you cannot get without eating meat. It happened to a friend of mine whose hair started falling out, plus my ulcerative colitis left my body needing more iron than vegetables and vitamins could provide.

This is 100% true for me. My body wanted and needed meat. My opinion on veganism may not be popular, and I am ok with that.

Once, I said something on my personal Facebook page about impossible burgers after we attempted to try one. The fake bloody hamburger smelled like nothing I’d ever smelled before.

I read the ingredients on the package since I always read labels due to my gluten intolerance. Here is what I found. 🤢

After my post, my Facebook “friends” lost their shit and got all up in my ass by telling me I didn’t know anything and began making comments defending the impossible line of food.

They insisted their meat-eating partners love it more than meat. I wonder what their honest opinion would be. They weren’t convincing me; they were justifying themselves for eating it.

Hey, you do you, and I’ll do me. I feel that way about most things.

Ok, enough about all that bullshit; this is a post about soy curls. What in fucks name they are? Where do they come from, what are they made of, and are they healthy for you?

Soy curls were created in 2000 by a family-run, Oregon-based company, Butler Foods. They wanted to create a meat alternative for vegetarians and vegans.

Soy curls are healthy and are a whole-natural food, meaning they do not have a bunch of chemicals in them. There is only one ingredient on their package: soy.

Marty stumbled upon soy curls while picking up a snack for us while we were in Albany making a delivery to the store Honest Weight. He chose a soy curl teriyaki salad made without gluten.

It was delicious, and we needed to know more. I researched what they were while heading to our next delivery in Saratoga. After the Four Seasons health food store delivery, I grabbed a bag of soy curls.

I looked up some recipes. I couldn’t wait to make one of our favorite dishes, Mongolian “Beef.” I used my Mongolian sauce recipe, which was the best part. I already knew what it would taste like.

Mongolian “Beef.”

The bottom line is they were easy to prepare, and the dish was better than the one I made with beef. They didn’t get tough in the refrigerator; we ate them cold the next day. You can’t do this with beef./

I have an excellent sense of smell and palate. The soy curls don’t have any smell or taste. They absorb whatever flavors you are cooking them with.

We ordered a big box of soy curls, which we will keep in the freezer and use what we need a little at a time. 

The amount of quick and easy meals we will get out of one box would be hundreds of dollars in meat.

What I like about cooking with them is there is no contamination to worry about or having to wash your hands dozens of times, like when preparing chicken, pork, or beef. 

Here are some other dishes I will be making with soy curls. 

I found the above photos of soy curls on Pinterest. Buffalo Chicken Salad, Steak Tacos, Hot Honey Chicken, Pulled Pork Sandwich, and Beef stroganoff.

I’ll use my regular recipes for these dishes and replace the protein with soy curls. You can be as creative as you want to be. The texture of the soy curls is just like other proteins. It’s amazing.

There are endless possibilities, and you won’t have to worry about defrosting or purchasing meat for quick dinners. 

Will I still make steak, chicken, and pork? Well, hell, yes. We will continue to indulge in foods we love by keeping everything in moderation.

The only negative things about soy curls are for people allergic to soy and for my old pal cauliflower, which soy curls have now replaced. 

You can find soy curls in most healthier stores like Trader Joe’s, health food stores, Whole Foods, and many other places.

They are more expensive on Amazon, so don’t do that. We ordered ours from Butler Foods directly, and they were half the price of Amazon.

I like to write about things people may not know about. I want to educate myself and my readers the best I can and teach them how to use or make whatever I am writing about.

I hope you found this post interesting. I am unsure if anyone will try soy curls, but if you do, I promise you will love them.

Posted on

Answers and replies…

With some readers emails being returned and undeliverable, the best thing to do is to email me at julziestyle@gmail.com.

I tried to reply to a stuffing question this morning and it didn’t go through.

Thanks so much for your comments which mean the world to me. I want to be able to answer your inquiries too.

~j

I corrected my email I left out the .com! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Posted on

Post holiday post…

I hope you all had an enjoyable and delicious Thanksgiving. This was a wonderful Thanksgiving for us. Holiday dinners for the first 30 years of our marriage were stressful and not fun.

I’ve cooked Thanksgiving dinner for 33 years. We ate dinner with Martin and his wife. Eileen, four years ago. It was scrumptious. Only making pies that year felt odd, but the break was wonderful.

Marty’s brother, Peter, came down from up north and spent a couple of days with us relaxing and catching up. We had a great time with lots of laughs, watching Hamilton, and a competitive game of Five Crowns.

My favorite Thanksgiving meme is this one. It makes me laugh every year. It’s true, isn’t it?

I didn’t post my holiday food photos because I do not go on social media on holidays or when we have guests. However, now I’m going to share our Thanksgiving with you.

I made my centerpiece the weekend before the big day. I love dressing our dining room table almost as much as cooking. 

I didn’t cook the whole bird again this year; I took the turkey parts off the carcass on Wednesday morning.

I immediately started a big pot of turkey stock. The stock simmered for 18 hours and made the house smell delicious. 

After being skimmed, the final broth was strained and went back on the stove to cook for another hour until it was reduced by half.

Check out that gorgeous and rich stock! I put half of it in the freezer for ramen soup or gravy.

Another benefit of not cooking the whole bird is that the turkey roasts for 45 minutes. My brother-in-law, Peter, was an enormous help with the turkey.

I had to use two pans because I didn’t have the kind I needed. Peter helped flip the turkey pieces since the pans were super heavy.

I had one grease fire; the heat was high when I placed the turkey breasts skin side down. I didn’t panic; I took the pan off the heat and put it on the cold granite countertop to cool down.

Our meal couldn’t have been more traditional since that was what we prefer on Thanksgiving. My two desserts were also traditional: pumpkin pie and mini pecan pie tarts.

Noah and Aja joined us for dessert after spending the day going to family members’ homes and eating two Thanksgiving dinners. Yes, they were both stuffed but had a little room left for dessert.

The five of us had a ton of laughs and stories to tell. I am so grateful they could spend time with us and Uncle Peter. Unfortunately, Sam was working and wasn’t able to join us.

So, that was it, another Thanksgiving in the books. Next up: Christmas meals.

Posted on

Thanksgiving advice…

I am a natural-born teacher. I’ve taught dance for almost 20 years and taught high school students how to cook in our high school’s culinary arts program.

I’ve taught all sorts of cooking classes so in November of 2020 when I started to see people panicking and begging for help; I wrote a post that got over 10,000 likes on social media.

Here is my 11/22/20 post.

“Hey!!! If this is your first Thanksgiving that you have to cook because of travel & gathering restrictions I must tell you this….today is the day you may want to take your frozen turkey out of the freezer and defrost in the refrigerator in a container in case it leaks while it defrosts.

I made the mistake of taking my turkey out too late too many times and sweated it out if it would be ready to roast on Thanksgiving. Here are a couple other pieces of advise I have found helpful over the last 31 years of cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

▪️Read the recipes you plan to make AHEAD and re-read them. For real you don’t want to find out on the big day you forgot to get something that would change the dish drastically.
▪️Make a list and shop early. No one wants to torture themselves and be in a last minute panic situation at the grocery store.
▪️Simple recipes with fewer good ingredients always come out better and are way less stressful.
▪️Mise en place or prep ahead!!!!! I cannot stress this enough!!! Being well organized and ready to go on the big day is fucking priceless! You will thank me and this goes for other big meals not just on thanksgiving. Seriously just taking the time to prep a few things here and there instead of just sitting on your phone is time well spent and is good for you mentally as well. Lol!
▪️Never apologize for your food!!!! To quote Julia Child “I don’t believe in twisting yourself into knots of excuses and explanations over the food you make. Usually one’s cooking is better than one thinks it is!”
▪️Let yourself off the hook and don’t try to make everything from scratch. If you like to bake then by all means make your pies on Wednesday, but if you don’t enjoy baking then buy them!!!! Keep your menu small and don’t try to tackle too many things. This one is huge. People start thinking about every dish they have ever had on past Thanksgivings and think they need to make them all.
▪️Plan on something super simple or order a pizza on Wednesday night so you can take the time to get organized for tomorrow. Same thing goes with a simple breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. This is not the day to make pumpkin pancakes or some other dumb shit you think is necessary. It’s not.
▪️This may be the biggest one of all. The big daddy of advice….clean as you go!!!!! Honestly people get so overwhelmed when they look around their kitchen and it looks like a bomb went off or worse when the pot or bowl or whisk that you need is dirty under a mountain of dishes!!!!

I hope this helps anyone who is dreading to cook…because they don’t enjoy cooking or perhaps they have always been that person that is lucky enough to just show with a pie or flowers for the table. I have some time today so I am prepping ahead things that can be made far in advance and make turkey day a snap!!

Take a deep breath. Count your blessings. Give thanks for all the good things that did happen in this shitass year and Bon Appetit!” ❤️❤️❤️~julz

This was the post that made me think I could be a writer and pass on knowledge I’ve had learned myself.

I have an interesting tidbit regarding the photo I used at the top of this post, Norman Rockwell’s Thanksgiving painting which was part of his Four Freedoms series.

As I am sure you know how much I love living in Arlington and all its history.

I wrote an entire blog post when I visited my friends Kevin and Sue who own and operate Rockwell Retreat which was Norman Rockwell’s second home he owned in Arlington.

One of our good friends owns the first home of Norman Rockwell. This was a complete surprise to me.

When my friend gave us a quick tour of the house he told us about a very special window in the house.

It was the window in Rockwell’s Thanksgiving painting! We were thrilled to see it and look out of it!

How amazing! We were standing in the spot that was the head of the table. How cool.

Our friend went on to tell us the models he used in that famous painting were townspeople as he always used.

The Grandmother holding the platter was a cleaning lady and I think the Grandfather was a plumber or some other kind of skilled laborer.

I love getting the back stories like that on Rockwell’s famous pieces of art.

It’s all so interesting and it all took place right here in Arlington. ☺️

Posted on

Irish Spice Bag…

We watch all kinds of food and cooking shows on YouTube. We like Sam the Cooking Guy. One dish Sam made caught my attention so much that I watched it again with Marty. I was intrigued.

Once I learn about something I never heard of, I must investigate. I began watching more videos about this dish, the Irish Spice Bag.

It took a while before I could make my spice bag following Sam the Cooking Guy’s recipe. So what exactly is an Irish Spice Bag besides fucking delicious? 

It is a paper bag filled with crispy chicken pieces, bell peppers and onions, hot chilies, french fries, and curry sauce. 

The dish originated in Dublin, Ireland, at a popular takeaway restaurant, Sunflower Chinese, in 2012. 

The staff grew tired of eating the same thing every day. They created the Irish spice bag after the takeaway closed for the night. 

Little did they know that the Irish Spice Bag would become a phenomenon. The spice bag was a collaboration of ideas, just as it is a collaboration of flavors. 

The story goes one of the employee’s friends came in the next day and asked for a spice bag. The rest is history. 

The Irish Spice Bag is now famous all over Ireland and is made in Chinese takeaway places all over the country.

It’s filling and tasty, perfect to eat after pounding down pints all night. Others call it a hangover remedy.

People from all over are obsessed with this unofficial dish of Dublin, just like Chicken Tikka Masala is the unofficial dish of London.

Some people get off an airplane, and the first thing they do is grab a spice bag as their first thing to eat; that’s how good this dish is.

Irish Spice bags have made it slowly to the US. The first locations also popped up in NYC and Washington, DC. More places are opening across the country.

There is even a place in Albany called the Savoy Tap House that has an Irish Spice Bag on their pub menu! We’ve been there since they have a very gluten-free friendly menu. 

But what about making one yourself?

Sam, the Cooking Guy, has 3.5 million followers; when he made his Irish Spice Bag, people went nuts and had to make one. Count me in.

People in Ireland watched his version and tried his recipe just like I did. They flipped out; it was so good and right on the money.

Some Irish people told him it was served with two sauces. Fair enough.

I have to admit it is a labor of love. You have to have time to make the recipe and, more importantly, time to sit and enjoy it.

I followed Sam the Cooking Guy’s recipe exactly, except I didn’t make thrice cooked french fries, and I used only a tiny amount of hot chilies for the first time. I could go a little spicier the next time. 

Instead of boring you to death with how I made it, click on the YouTube video and watch Sam’s Irish Spice Bag. The man is a pisser and is himself on camera. His son Max is the cameraman.

If you aren’t interested in watching his program, click the link and look at the recipe. I encourage you to watch the video so he can tantalize your taste buds and make you laugh. 

 https://www.thecookingguy.com/cookbook/2023/5/1/salt-amp-chili-chicken-spice-bag

Like in Ireland, we ate our Irish Spice Bags from the ripped-open bag. We used our fingers and dipped the bag’s contents into the flavorful side of curry sauce.

This is no joke. I kid you not; after only once having a spice bag, we are addicted. Of course, this falls under the category of food that is a treat since we don’t eat many fried foods. 

Everything in moderation, people. Eat a salad the next day if you are feeling guilty. Like my hero, idol, and male alter ego, the late, great Anthony Bourdain said:

Eat a damn Irish spice bag, for fucks sake, and enjoy the hell out of it. Thanks, Tony, for the reminder.♥️

Posted on

Nelly turns 1…

Happy birthday Nelly!

I can’t believe it’s already our little Nelly ‘s birthday!

She joined our family with ease and not only belongs here but has filled all our hearts with laughter and love.

We gave her a stuffy as her gift and Klaus nibbled it’s ear off. It was taken away until he is calmer.

Klaus loves stuffies too. 😜

Posted on

Flying high part 2…

I was prepping our dinner tonight when I got a text from Aja, Noah’s girlfriend. She sent a photo, and I was immediately excited about what they were doing.

They were in Noah’s friend Steven’s plane. Steven was the pilot. They were headed to Block Island, then around Manhattan. How exciting!

The two of them went to Connecticut for the weekend so Aja could meet his friends and take her places in his old stomping grounds. Noah lived there and worked for Audi but returned home because he missed Vermont.

It’s good that he did, or he would have never met Aja. They just celebrated their first anniversary. They have done a lot in a year, including a trip to Mexico in September.

I have never seen my son act and look so happy. They moved in together and have a cute little apartment. He’s the cook, and she makes salads. I wonder who cleans the toilet? Lol.

Not only does my son look happy, but he has matured dramatically this past year. He reminds me so much of how Marty was when we were dating, including leaving a bouquet on Aja’s car, like father-like son.

Aja and I are getting to know each other better. I love spending time with her. I am completely myself with her, which is wonderful. She and I share the same birthday, automatically making us birthday twins. 😊

I asked her if it was okay if I wrote about her, and she said yes, so here we are.

I told Noah how proud of him. I continued by telling him that I am proud that Sam is focusing on his career and accomplishing all the goals he sets for himself; Noah is successful in everything in his life. How lucky am I to have these guys as sons?

Watching my son have a fantastic relationship with an amazing person is lovely. I love seeing him, so excited to share everything with her. Like this weekend trip to visit his friends.

To see how happy he is, smiling his head off in all the photos. This is a smile we never saw before, not even when he was little.

I think we all can agree that as parents, all we want is for our children to be happy, knowing he is; is a homerun.

I look forward to watching their relationship grow and spending more time with them. There isn’t one person who doesn’t tell me they have never seen Noah so happy before.

Awww. ♥️

Posted on

Embracing the dark…

Photo image from The Farmers Almanac.

If someone told me I would write a blog post like this one, I would have said, “Get the hell out of here!”

The clocks have been turned back, and it’s dark before 5 pm. Everyone is complaining about the dark on Facebook. I used to be one of those complainers. 

This has been a life-changing year for me. I’ve become a person who is more aware of everything around me and appreciates it. 

I look at things with new eyes and perspectives. Thinking I only had 3-5 years to live back in March threw me into a deep depression and gave me a nervous breakdown. 

Thank goodness that was not my prognosis with my type of lung disease, but it made me pause, and with that pause, everything changed.

When I was little, I loved all four of the seasons. Of course, summer was my favorite since school was out, and I could stay out until the street lights came on.

Unfortunately, this summer was a holy hell for me health-wise, as I struggled to breathe during the hot, humid summer. I sweated constantly and had zero energy. Having rain every other day didn’t help.

I always looked forward to fall. It meant I could wear the back-to-school clothes without sweating my ass off. I loved jumping in piles of leaves and Halloween as much as I love it today.

We got married in October because it’s such a pretty time of the year. It’s not too hot or too cold for a wedding. The weather was perfect and produced colorful outdoor wedding photos.

After we moved to Vermont, I began to dread fall every year because I knew a cold, dark winter was right behind it. When we first moved to VT, we loved the winter because we liked skiing and snow tubing. 

After our first winter, the sad truth was even though we lived near three ski mountains, we couldn’t afford to go skiing. We quickly discovered how high the cost of living in Vermont was with low wages.

We lived on rice, oatmeal, and pasta since we had no money, our heating bills were so high, and our place was still cold. Charming but fucking freezing.

Spring was always exciting because things were coming back to life, and summer was approaching. I rejoiced when I could get my bike out again, and my dad started mowing the lawn again.

Here in Vermont, all that changed when we learned about mud and blackfly season. Both were horrible, mainly where we lived up in the mountains. Snow was still on the ground in June.

That brings me to this year. The year that shocked the shit out of me. Perhaps one of the most challenging years for me, maybe the most important one.

I started to notice the things that brought us to Vermont in the first place. I found joy in things and realized VT was a beautiful, quiet place with a simpler lifestyle, which we appreciate.

As I adapted to my new “life” with another disease, I found having to slow down due to breathing issues was a welcome change. I used to go like the energizer bunny from when my feet hit the floor until bedtime.

Now, I don’t enjoy rushing around, period. That includes eating, drinking morning tea, shopping, and running errands.

Marty dug out his union suit the other night.

With my blog posts, I can see the changes occurring slowly. Marty has adapted to our new life as empty nesters and my limitations almost gratefully. We work hard, but we aren’t spring chickens anymore.

As the fall weather came this year, I appreciated the crisp, cool days; I could breathe, and the cool temps felt wonderful. I could smell the leaves and watch them turn color, die, and fall. 

Was that a pun? I never thought of the word fall as something literal. 🤔

After I learned more about the Danish word hygge, which means warm and cozy, I wanted to be warm and cozy and realized I had been living the hygge way for years without knowing it.

For example, when the temperature dropped, I always looked forward to making warm, hearty, comfort food again and stocked up my freezer and pantry for the winter.

I started burning more candles to create a cozy, warm environment. We got our throw blankets and fuzzy slippers out.

In today’s society, when the clocks change, it’s almost like panic hits for people. There is something about the dark that makes people miserable. Of course, seasonal depression is a real thing, but this is about when we turn the clocks back.

People have busy lives and are always out and about with packed schedules. The dark suggests they soon will have to stay indoors and sulk. That was me, folks.

I researched the subject of darkness. I found the farmer’s point of view. Some religious groups consider anything dark as evil. I enjoyed reading about the Celtic perspective and Samhain. I read Wiccans and other subcultures take on the dark season.

I liked the Chinese way of looking at late autumn and winter as the Blue Black time. They say this time of the year is filled with blues, purples, and black. So true. I never thought about that before.

What I got from the research is that they all have a common theme, except for the extreme holy rollers; mind you, they are full of fear and negativity.

Nature dictates the seasons and knows what to do. People for thousands of years have taken nature’s cue. At the end of autumn, when everything dies and rests until spring, they did too. 

During the time of rest, people ate hot and hearty meals. Their root cellars and pantries were stuffed with root vegetables and summer veggies that had been canned.

People were careful they would have enough food and not run out. They welcomed the rest and appreciated slowing down. Candles were lit, books were read, and hobbies were enjoyed.

People make New Year’s resolutions in our time, which is the opposite of what they did a hundred years ago. Maybe this is why people fail miserably every year, sometimes in the first week.

Back then, resolutions waited until spring with time to think about what you wanted to strive for, like planning what would go into garden beds or switching crops.

Today, people don’t know how or may not want to slow down and take winter for what it is. A time of rest. It is a time to appreciate this intimate time of the year and snuggle under blankets, read the book you haven’t had time for, try new recipes, or pick up a hobby.

I am now embracing the dark season. I have my cozy space where I write and draw. It’s where I enjoy my tea in the morning. I have soft lighting, along with a throw blanket and comfy pillows. Klaus loves this spot, too; I have to kick him out often.

My space is away from the television, which is always on and is too much for me. I love YouTube, but there is only so much I can take. In the UK, our back room would be called a snug. The word snug is so fitting for my space.

I am planning and looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. My shopping is done, and my menus are planned. I love cooking during the holidays more than the rest of the year.

These trees are similar to the ones I will be using this Christmas.

Our Christmas tree situation is different with the sassy girl Nelly around. Instead of a big live tree, we are trying something new. Small trees I picked out of the garbage. Another person’s trash is another person’s treasure.

We need simple shatterproof ornaments for sure. I decided to make some of my own Christmas ornaments this year. This hasn’t happened since Noah was little. 

I saw two simple ornaments at Pottery Barn that I loved but were ridiculously expensive. I thought, shit, I can make them myself. I hope it doesn’t turn out to be another Nailed It episode. 😂

Disagree with me all you want about embracing the dark and winter. Hell, I would have before this year 💯 percent.

My goal for this blog post was to try to change your perspective so you can enjoy this natural time of the year like our ancestors did. Maybe people could be less damaging by not hating and despising the next five months.

This post was a lengthy one, and I hope some of you can make a change and embrace it. Consider this song’s lyrics as a good thing, not bad.

“Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.”