Category: My gifts

Free Image.

Soon after my encounter with Turtle, I wasn’t expecting to journey again so soon. The veil to the other side gets thinner this time of the year, so it shouldn’t have surprised me.

Lately, after all my years of Shamanic Journeying, I have gone to new places, which frightens me when it happens. 

I was scared shitless when I was led through a dark forest where Wolf was waiting for me. I was even more frightened when he started stalking me. So I ran.

This journey led me to another dark place. I was walking into pitch-black darkness. I was terrified. I wasn’t sure if I was in the middle or the lower world; I didn’t know how I even got there.

I stopped, trying to understand where I was and why. I telepathically heard a voice say, “Take my hand.” Um, no, thank you.

I was frightened to take the hand and didn’t. My mind was racing about what to do. Why wasn’t this a happy journey? Why was I in the place?

I kept hearing over and over, “Trust me, take my hand.” I was afraid to, but then I got the courage to do so. 

As soon as I reached out and grabbed that hand, I was back to the loveseat in our back room. I understood what that journey meant.

In addition to overcoming my worrying and anxiety, I forgot about depression, which I have been battling significantly since my lung issues began. 

When I think I’m climbing out of deep, dark depression, I am shoved back down the rabbit hole. 

The night before this journey, I finally called a dear close friend of mine who moved to Washington state close to five years ago. 

She and I were very close. She was about 15 years older than me and a great source of answers to many questions I had as a woman. 

I never had someone I could confide in before this way. She explained a woman’s middle-life crisis and how I wasn’t alone in things I felt about this and that.

She texted me a few times asking if I was ok. She worried about me since I never posted anything about me on my Facebook page. No news is good news.

She said the stuff I have been sharing on my page is somewhat cryptic, and she was worried. I finally called her back. 

Kaaron is someone I should have called months ago, but answering questions about my lung disease is very depressing to discuss with people. 

That’s when she said, “Give it to me.” I started talking and talking about my physical and mental health issues. Everything just poured out of me.

She knew exactly what to say after she listened to everything I said. Kaaron was my stand-in mother for years since my mother, Eileen, was not that kind of mother or person.

In a very assuring, quiet tone, she said what I’d been waiting for someone who knew me to say. 

I mentioned how I pretended to “get over” my lung disease prognosis and move on. She said, “Sweetheart, you don’t have to get over anything. Why would you think that?”

I told her because it made people close to me feel better, and I knew people were sick of me wanting to talk about it. 

In her best Karron fashion, she said, “Well fuck everybody else. This is not something you get over.” Finally, those magic words filled with love and experience.

I cried and told her I felt like I was swimming in a dark sea alone. She said that’s because I was. She was right, I was.

She told me this was how she felt when her oldest son ended his own life 12 years ago. People thought she should get over it; she swam in her own dark sea alone.

I thanked her and told her I wanted to keep in touch because I missed her; she made me feel better about how I was handling my situation and to honor my feelings and not everyone else’s.

I am crying while writing this because that phone call meant so much to me. I am so grateful to have her in my life, even if she is across the country from me.

After I hung up, Marty asked if I was ok. I told him precisely what Kaaron told me. She was the only one who said what I’d been desperately waiting to hear. 

The next day, I had that metaphoric journey. It took me a while to realize that the voice that told me to take their hand and to trust them was either Jesus or God. It freaked me out.

I still feel like I am still swimming in a dark sea alone, but I know a hand is always ready to grab mine when needed. 

Talk about fucked up, right? I haven’t shared this with anyone because it’s weird to casually mention this type of shit without people thinking I am totally off my nut.

On my blog, I promised myself and my readers to be honest, genuine, and authentic, which is not easy. I feel like these journeys are necessary to honor and talk about.

These posts are difficult to write and even harder when I lose readers because of them.

I never said this journey would be easy, but I seem to be progressing slowly and steadily regarding a fraction of my life’s lessons.

Thanks for reading and even more for sticking around. 🖤

My crystal and gemstone turtle collection.
They were freshly charged during the full moon.

I must be a slow learner regarding my path on this journey in this lifetime. My spirit guides and power animals are probably sick and tired of trying to get this lesson across. 

I have different power animals for different lessons. Sometimes, they all try to get the same lesson through my thick head. Like this one.

Turtle is my primary or constant power animal. In my “letting go of worrying” lesson, Hawk and Wolf recently tried. I understood what they were saying, but being able to let go of my constant worrying is something else.

A few years ago, I learned about giving your worries to God or the universe. I’ve posted that at bedtime when my worries flood my mind, I would tie a balloon string to each of them and watch them float away. 

While this has helped a lot over the last ten years, I now find myself back to giving away each of my worries a few times a day. I thought I had this; it turns out I don’t. I was a bundle of anxiety that was getting out of control again.

It took a visit with Turtle on Thursday afternoon while I was meditating to learn another piece of this lesson. I always thought I had Turtle as a spirit animal because I was always fast and on the go. This was true, or so I thought.

What I learned the other day wasn’t about how physically fast I was but how fast my thoughts and worries were. Hmmm? 🤔

Turtle is always gentle and friendly with me. He may not look like a creature giving you the warm fuzzies, but his personality does. Then this happened.

Turtle sternly told me I was NOT living in the now, even though I thought I did sometimes. Not at all. I must say to you, I was surprised by his frankness; Hawk must be rubbing off on him.

I asked him why in a defensive way. It’s what I do when I know I will be proved wrong. He was more than ready to do so. My ears were wide open for this lesson.

He started by saying I’ve come a long way in this life experience, but I still didn’t have the not worrying thing down yet, by any stretch of the imagination. OK, now what?

He said in a now gentle voice, “By giving away your worries one by one, you aren’t able to live in the now.” It started to make sense at that point. Listing off my worries numerous times of the day was the opposite of living in the now.

He continued by telling me my worries are about past and future things that I fear. We all do that, don’t we, even if we don’t talk about it?

To live in the now, I need to give whatever worry I have at that very moment. For example, in the waiting room of a doctor’s office, I can give away my concern about the appointment and the outcome, not all week or month like I was doing.

This made perfect sense to me now. A lightbulb went off in my head; Turtle was correct on all levels! I’ve been able to convert to this more straightforward than I imagined. Here is what is working for me.

I can wish myself and my family to be safe and get a good night’s sleep at bedtime. Period. Nothing else. I can disregard any other thoughts by saying to myself, no!

This is true during the daytime as well. When worrying thoughts enter my head, I focus on what I am doing at that very moment, like yesterday when I was washing the livingroom windows and window treatments.

These two stared at me most of the time I was cleaning. 😂

I focused on how clean the windows were and how fresh and clean the curtains smelled. While prepping and cooking dinner last night, I focused on the knifework, smell, and taste. I didn’t let any negative thoughts take up any head space.

If you are a worrier like me, this may be something for you, or everyone, to take a hard look at. It takes a lot of training, but I am slowly getting it. I am saying no often, but it’s getting easier.

I know I may not be ready for another lesson until I learn this one. I feel less anxious and calmer by practicing this new way of thinking. I can do this, especially for my health’s sake.

Of course, you can plan, make reservations, and have an agenda or goals for yourself in the future; you just aren’t worrying about it all week or month. This is a massive thing for me; whenever I added something to my planner, I started worrying about it.

I hope this is something for you worriers to think about and try. It is truly working for me. I know that another part of my spiritual journey is to teach people what I learn and share it with them.

Thank you, my sweet Turtle friend! 💚

I am trying my hardest to give away all my worries to God or the universe if that’s what you believe in.

Giving my worries away frees my mind, and I can live in the moment and be a happier person.

Worrying gets in the way of the Buddhist’s way of thinking: to live in the moment. Easier said than done.

I know I can say, “I give all my worries away,” but listing them one by one helps me let each one go, like balloons.

One day, I reached enlightenment when I was nine years old. This was just before my world turned upside down when my mother turned on me.

I may have told this story before, but I’ll tell it again. I was sitting in religion class at my Catholic school. It was in the afternoon, and it was raining outside.

Our third-grade desks formed a letter U with Sister Cornelia’s desk in the opening of the U. I remember every detail down to who I was sitting next to.

Sister was droning on about something and loving God. I focused on the word love in my head. I had a gentle gaze.

That’s when I felt it. During that moment, I was all-knowing of everything, and I felt so much love. It was the most incredible feeling I’ve ever experienced.

People strive for enlightenment their whole lives. I was an innocent child without a worry in the world and came upon it without trying.

When I returned to reality, I had no idea how long that feeling of enlightenment lasted.

I never told a soul about my experience until exploring my spiritual gifts a few years ago.

So now about the wolf piece of this post, I don’t get to pick and choose when I can journey; most times, I can’t.

Whenever I do get to journey, it’s usually to the lower world, and there is always a power animal waiting for me to give me a message.

The message is always right. Different animals have different messages. My main lifetime power animal is still turtle.

On Tuesday afternoon, while meditating, I saw that familiar portal to the other worlds. Even in non-ordinary time, I get excited every time it happens.

It took me to a different place in the lower world, a place I had never been before, or so I thought.

A powerful force pulled me to a path heading into a dark and scary forest. Even in journeys, I was like, “Oh shit, shit, shit.” I knew what I was in for.

I walked further into the forest; it kept getting darker. I stopped suddenly because I felt something staring at me.

I was afraid to look to my left, but I did. I saw a pair of eyes squinting at me. I didn’t move until the animal began stalking me.

It was a wolf, and I started running as fast as possible. He was right on my heels until I came to a break in the forest.

I knew this place. The wolf walked ahead of me and sat down next to a rock. A rock I sat on in another life.

I like looked out at the large lake which was very peaceful, and I knew it was loaded with fish. I sat beside the wolf and asked, “So what’s up?”

His face was gentle now, but he said nothing except I am here as a message, and with that, I was back in ordinary time.

The funny thing about me having Wolf as my power animal is I’ve always resonated with wolves and the moon.

I’ve had a strong urge to howl at the moon for as long as I can remember. When I do howl at a full moon, I’m almost always alone but have howled with other crazy people.

I’ve told many people I feel like a werewolf during the full moon, getting so hyped up and not being able to sleep before and after the full moon.

I love to stare at the moon in all its phases, it’s so beautiful.

Back to my journey, I am always bewildered by a journey until I do some investigating. I looked up, having a wolf for a power animal.

I read through what it said quickly; then it came to wanting freedom. At first, I didn’t understand.

I read another site’s meaning of wolf energy, and that’s when I got the message that was right on the money.

I want freedom from worrying about money, finances, our business, my sons, my health, and Marty’s.

Will I ever reap any harvest in this lifetime or continue to work like a dog for the rest of my life?

I want freedom to take time for myself and time with Marty. Then I got back to thinking about the Buddhist monks reaching or trying to reach enlightenment.

Buddhist monks have very little to no worries. They have a free place to live and healthy food to eat. They don’t punch a clock but do chores around the monastery.

They aren’t judged or put down for their work. They don’t have anyone else to be responsible for.

They don’t have bills, a government, and a healthcare system.

They don’t live in fear of war or have inflation, which is a huge problem for so many people right now, us included.

They aren’t living in a shit show of a world like we are.

They have themselves, yet at nine, I achieved what they have dedicated their lives to.

My message from Wolf is a powerful one that made me stop and think. I’m still figuring out how to use his message daily.

If you haven’t read my blog posts about “my gifts” and are interested in what I am talking about, you can go to the search area and type in my gifts.

Thanks again for being on my journey with me. Happy Friday, guys.

*** I did an entire blog series on my psychic and spiritual gifts last year. You can search under the “My gift” category to read those blog posts if you are interested. You don’t have to read them to understand the meaning of this post.

When I was sick for two months with pneumonia in February and March, I did reiki on myself many times a day. While I am a reiki master, the powerful healing energy works on others and not so much on myself. Nevertheless, I still perform reiki daily.

I tried to “journey” to the upper and lower worlds during that period without much luck. I was not allowed to enter those worlds and indeed not the middle world since my body was ill and my energy was next to nothing.

A couple of weeks ago, while meditating, which I do at least once daily, I was allowed to visit the lower world. I can go in three different directions when I get there.

The left is my usual fun spot with my power animals. Straight ahead is where I meet new power animals or messengers. The right leads to a series of caves, and I know who lives in one.

My power animal, Hawk, lives there. Before my journey, I could recall seeing many hawks that week in ordinary reality time. I saw a couple of them flying and images. I didn’t make the connection; I was about to be summoned to Hawk. Oh, boy.

I haven’t made a visit to see Hawk for years. It always started off unpleasant, but I was left with messages and could see a hawk’s eye view of things happening around me. Hawk basically told me to chill the fuck out and look at the whole picture.

He has been right whenever I trek down the dark cave’s passageways lit by torches. I know what to expect when I get to Hawk’s dwelling.

There is a large flat rock for me to sit on while I get my scolding. He always greets me sternly, “Sit down, Sqaw!” It’s like being sent to the principal’s office.

As I was nearing the cave this time, I saw Hawk flying beautifully high above me. He began to descend and landed in front of me. He said, “Hello, Sqaw.” I replied, “Hello, why are you nice to me?” He laughed softly.

I realized this was a different type of lesson he had for me. In a gentle voice, which I didn’t know he had, he told me to sit in the grass to get closer to his level. He said, “Sqaw, you’ve been through a lot and have prevailed every time.”

He continued by telling me that what I am going through now isn’t what it seems and that I should not go forward with fear and doubt. I replied, “Easier said than done.” Instead of getting mad at me, something happened that never occurred before.

I don’t know if I got smaller or Hawk got bigger, but he told me to hop on and enjoy the ride. As soon as we took off, I screamed, “This is amazing!” “Holy shit!” “How beautiful.” Well, you get the idea.

I was looking down at the world around me in ordinary reality time. It wasn’t ‘places or things, but things I just knew. The world below me was a happy, content, and fun place. The sun shone brightly and felt warm on my back as we hovered.

When we landed, Hawk asked me if I liked what I saw. “Oh yes, I remember saying to him.” “This beautiful world we flew over is your life. You have to change your thinking for it to become a reality,” Hawk explained.

He told me I need to pay attention to what makes me happy and content and stop trying to be something I am not. My beautiful life is all around me. I have to figure out the kind of things that make me happy.

With that, I returned to our bedroom, laying on our bed with tears running down my face. As I write, I cry because I become so emotional when thinking about that visit with Hawk. I said aloud, “Thank you, Hawk; I love you!” Tissue time for me.

Over the next few days, I started putting together pieces of things that happened recently. Some things were my visit with the pulmonologist, living a healthier lifestyle by removing chemicals and adopting Nelly.

The biggest realization was Paris Syndrome, and I wasn’t the world traveler I wanted to be; it was freeing! I released myself from wanting to go places like other people, which made me feel uncomfortable. Being able to admit it finally helped me move forward. This was a big fucking deal, folks.

Since that realization, I have felt differently. I don’t need to visit faraway places but enjoy doing things that make me happy here. I began to list things I liked or liked doing in the past.

The first thing that popped up was growing a culinary garden with herbs, different varieties of lettuce, and flowers. I remembered why I stopped gardening; I hated being on my hands and knees with bugs flying around my head and getting bit by God knows what ending up itchy.

I told Marty about the journey and how I wanted to find a new way to grow my culinary garden again. As always, Marty to the rescue! He saw many beautiful raised growing beds that could be put on our back terrace that gets all day sun.

I could envision my culinary garden and flowers in my head. Marty and I picked out two raised garden beds which arrived in a few days.

Then came the surprise septic situation, leaving us with a brand-spanking new, beautiful back terrace. Perfect for the two raised beds we got a week before.

I can see wave petunias growing down the new retaining wall and how nice the new pavers will feel warm under my bare feet. The garden will be easy to water since the hose is right there. Bugs should be minimal, if any. Weeding will be a snap.

Another item that makes me happy is cooking. Especially in the warmer months, we both want to incorporate more vegetarian meals and different salads in our diets since we will be growing our own lettuce! A few days ago, I made a vegetarian dish that turned out delicious.

I feel content and happy. I’ve been in an excellent mood for over a week. I wasn’t upset about the septic situation as I usually would have been before I visited Hawk. I could belly dance again and had little to no shortness of breath.

Nelly has been the bright spot in our lives, including Klaus. She is a breath of fresh air, constantly making us smile and laugh. She is the little sweetheart Marty, and I needed. She has made us closer as a family and is such a snuggle bug when she sleeps with us at night.

I am not focusing on what will happen in the future like I was obsessing over, but enjoying all the beautiful things my life offers. I have tried to live in the moment for years, but now I can finally do it without trying.

Thank you, Hawk! More tissues.

I saved writing about the middle world for last, thinking it was the most over-the-top and scary for people to read about. 

While it’s true, thoughts of haunted houses, ghosts that can’t cross over, and negative energies are frightening, especially how each is portrayed in movies and tv. 

Am I a chicken when it comes to watching scary movies and reading horror books? You bet your ass I am. Funny right?

The last house clearing I did for my friends a couple of weeks ago helped me sort through my emotions, and I realized why I was chosen to work in the middle world. I say chosen because, as a healer and light worker, the middle world is not somewhere I would ever decide to go.

Over the last 15 years, I’ve helped hundreds of lost souls or ghosts cross over to the other side. The last 13 people I met and helped made me think of their situations compassionately, even if they were difficult, mean, or an asshole, putting it bluntly, something or someone made them that way. 

No one wants to grow up that way, but shit happens to good people. It’s my job to figure out why they are stuck and who I need help from on the other side, such as spirit guides, angels, passed family members, and power animals. Most importantly, I must do my job so the ghosts can trust and listen to me. 

At the end of all my clearings, I’ve been successful in helping them move on. Only in one situation, I saw something that scared the crap out of me. In another blog post, I wrote you will be unsuccessful if you are afraid and show any fear at all. I didn’t even try.

I will not give those fourth-dimensional evil entities more than a short paragraph. I was afraid, so after discussing with my friend and former house-clearing partner, while I was at the farmers market, she blasted the place with love and light, something that evil beings despise. 

Ev lovingly sent them to a place where they can never harm anyone or anything through all bands of the time. Boy, was I glad she is such a powerful light worker and took care of this for me remotely by using reiki energy. What a relief!

Human souls or ghosts come from a place of love and light (God) and will almost always respond and return to it. These black blobs of pure evilness hated it. Good always overcomes evil.

So what and where is the middle world? I’ll do my best to describe it. It is on the same plane or dimension as earth. It is a parallel non-ordinary version of our world. Beauty, trickery, strangeness, horror, and lost or stolen objects and souls are in the middle world.

The middle world is where vibes and thoughts happen; the old saying thoughts become things is the middle world. It is also where psychic phenomena, extra-sensory perception, and unexplained things happen. It is where disease ad illness manifests themselves. Again, back to thoughts become things.

The first time I visited the middle world, I didn’t understand where or why I was there. It didn’t look like the earth; it was gray, dark, and gloomy. Right after I first went to the middle world, I began hearing voices or people talking to me. This is considered crazy. Well, then, call me crazy.

As soon as the thought or word of a place needed clearing, some of the stuck beings or lost souls began speaking to me. It’s always when I am awake and focused on something like driving or performing tasks that require little thinking, like cleaning.

At first, I was like, what the fuck is happening, and who is this? All the people who reached out were women who were traumatized, abused, very sick, or frightened. It figures it was the women asking for directions to go home, not the men. 😂

By the end of my drive or project, I knew their story. I was able to go to the middle world and help free them from whatever chained them to this world. 

When it was time for the in-person house clearing, all the ghosts were gone already, and we were there to blast the place with reiki and do a physical blessing. 

When we would arrive at someone’s home, I would always ask the homeowner and their family members what they saw. Before we got to the house, I gave Ev the details of who I crossed over. 

We were both blown away when the homeowners’ kids described precisely what I saw. Confirmation at its finest, knowing I wasn’t crazy or wacko was priceless. 

I mentioned I had to find out why the stuck beings were stuck in the first place. In my experience, it is because they were very sick, killed or tortured in a traumatic way, killed without them knowing it; some don’t want to leave a place or object behind, held against their will by another ghost, or had unfinished business. 

Almost every ghost I’ve dealt with didn’t know they were dead. Some were scared, clueless, comical, anxious, stubborn, or too young to know what happened. It’s true; most stuck ghosts are between 16-30 years old, with a few grumpy old men and women thrown in for good measure. 

Many ghosts I helped were women beaten, raped, or killed by men; others died of disease or sickness. The men were killed while fighting and shot their heads off either on purpose or without realizing when their guns accidentally went off. Some died of infections from wounds or sickness. 

I describe the difference between spirits and ghosts as spirits are souls that cross over and can come and go as they please, showing themselves to loved ones how they think their loved ones on earth would remember them at their best, especially in dreams.

Ghosts are stuck in a house, location, or to an object such as a piano or piece of jewelry. I see them at the moment of their death, not like a skeleton or creepy ghoul but as a sick or injured person. 

This past winter, we watched a series called Ghosts. We watched the American version, but the original one was British. The series is brilliant and the closest thing to describing to people what it’s like to work in the middle world. 

The ghost characters stuck on a property in upstate NY know they are dead and waiting to get “sucked up” to the light. They can’t figure out why they are stuck. 

Each episode focuses on a different ghost. The show is a comedy and not scary at all. I highly recommend it as a feel-good series. 

Back to the middle world, am I frightened or disgusted? Weirdly, not at all. While in ordinary reality time I can’t look at an eyelash in someone’s eye or hear or think of anything medically wrong. I don’t know why the non-ordinary time stuff doesn’t bother me for the life of me. 

I did a lot of research on all the topics I discussed in this series. I found good and bad information. Some are legit services, and other money-making schemes are taking advantage of people and homeowners. 

I am using my calling or house-clearing abilities how other people use their callings, such as ministries or missionaries—volunteers working with the needy at homeless shelters or food pantries. 

Volunteering or working as a health care worker or in EMS agencies. I know some people who make a difference working with the elderly or refugees. Others donate money or services for free. Those in need are in need, whether in human or dead form. A calling is helping others the best way you can with your gifts. 

This last house clearing made me think about why I was chosen by the other side to be a medium in the middle world. Let’s face it; I have a tough guy; I’m going to kick your ass kind of attitude sometimes. I am patient, kind, understanding, and loving most of the time, but get my “Jersey” up, and it’s all over. 

You cannot be a wimp or show any fear; at the same time, have empathy, sympathy, and compassion, which I have. You have to think quickly on your feet and find the right words to say. You aren’t permitted to ever lie to the being and have to come from a place of love and light. That’s why I think I was chosen. 

I walked home from the actual in-person house clearing last week and was filled with humility and happiness for the souls that finally got to go home. I felt grateful to be able to help. My heart was full of love. I learned a lot from the “people” I met, some of which I liked. 

Well, that’s it for this series of healing and psychic abilities. I know some of you were fascinated or frightened; others must digest or try to understand it. Some may think I’m whacked and it’s too much. I get it.

My goal here wasn’t to rant and rave about the spooky things I do but to explain and have an honest discussion about topics most people don’t know about.

I want you not to be afraid of other healing modalities or trying new things. To think of life in a different way. To notice passed loved ones’ energy around us and acknowledge it; they love when they know you feel them. 

Thank you for reading this series and encouraging me to continue each week. It took a lot of courage for me to put all of this out there; Marty never knew half of what I did exactly. He told me some of it was scary, and it is for people. I would be scared for sure if it wasn’t me writing this.

Please email me at julziestyle@gmail.com if you have any questions or want to learn more about this series. I don’t teach any of my practices but can surely get you steered in the right direction.

Please remember, I don’t work with spirits or loved ones who have crossed over, meaning I don’t get messages for other people. I don’t know who to bet at the races or lottery numbers. Lol. 

Have a great rest of your Sunday; I am looking forward to my family coming home later today, I missed them, but Klaus and Otto really did. 

This has been quite the psychic and healing week for me. Since I opened the veil to the other side and my third eye, I have been highly in tune with my gifts and abilities. 

Last week, I wrote that I performed only one soul retrieval on myself. I did another one this week. 

What is soul retrieval? I found this explanation on a website called Lulu Baba. You can click on this link to learn more in-depth information. 

A soul retrieval is a powerful spiritual practice that heals soul loss. Soul loss can occur whenever we have trauma in our life. For example, we may experience soul loss if we are in an accident, undergo a serious operation, or if we suddenly lose a close friend or family member.

A soul retrieval is performed in order to seek out and recover broken fragments of your spirit that were severed by a trauma. 

Emotional experiences that exceed the limits of comprehension can cause part of your soul to break away from you. Soul retrieval is a way to recover these fragmented pieces. 

Soul retrieval is a spiritual journey that can take you anywhere from the astral planes of spiritual existence (places that stretch far beyond the cosmos), to beneath the strata of your inner soul, in order to recover the abandoned and forgotten pieces of who you are.

The soul retrieval I did this week went back a couple of lifetimes. The fact that Marty was there and watched me put it all together is reassuring I’m not out of my fucking mind. 

When I do a retrieval, I start a journey but immediately see a door. It is the actual door as I travel through time and space. When I walk through that door, I walk into the time period in which a trauma occurred, something so traumatic I lost a piece of my soul. 

The retrieval started with me seeing a huge archway door made of bricks with massive wood and black iron hardware. I pushed it open. I looked to my left and saw a long arched hallway, and I came out of the retrieval.

I got up the following day and found Marty sitting on the couch with the tv on. We took the day off to finish our taxes and work on other administrative work. 

I explained the journey to Marty, then the phone rang. He paused the tv, causing it to show Amazon slide-show photos as the screen saver. The pictures are either places around the world or nature. What popped up on the screen made me bug out.

He was on the phone with our accountant, so I had to calm myself as I stared at the photo on the big screen tv. The title of the image was Ruin Wheal Tin Mines.

I went on my phone, and I found it right away. I was shocked because it was the ruin of the doorway I had seen the night before.

I searched a few more images and saw the hallway filled with daylight and not dark when I saw it. Holy shit!

Next, I looked up where it was located, which was Cornish, England. Marty hung up with Deb, and I told and showed him what I saw. He had a look of disbelief on his face. We were both stunned.

I returned to the Wheal Tin Mines the next day while working. I do my best Shaman work while having a soft focus on something else.

After I entered the door, I turned and walked down the long brick hallway, which got darker. A man came up behind me, “It’s your first day, isn’t it now?” How did he know? I guess I looked like a young, frightened kid. 

The man went by the name of Clancy. He was older, then again, a 40-year-old miner was old since there were so many health hazards with the job.

Clancy showed me the ropes and told me the one thing I had to remember, “You cannot fall asleep, lad; you have to keep on your toes; here is trouble everywhere.” 

In the mining tunnels, men as young as 12 years old lost their lives from accidents, explosions, and cave-ins, while many others died young of miners’ lung. 

The work was back-breaking and exhausting. There was a long climb down a metal ladder to get to the mines, a climb that took twice as long to come back up. It was pitch black except for the light from candles, which produced smoke in the mines.

I researched that many miners, even today have problems sleeping because they are always in the dark, and their bodies can’t adjust. 

Many men went back to work even more exhausted since they were acute insomniacs. Then the day when that tragic trauma event occurred coming back in this lifetime, making me a lifelong insomniac. So weird.

I sensed something was wrong and ran down the tunnel and found Clancy and a couple of the older guys asleep. I screamed for them to wake up; something was wrong. 

They weren’t waking up; I heard a series of loud explosions. At that point, I knew my way around the tunnels; I ran for my life.

Everyone working in that section of the mine was killed. Body parts and clothing were pulled to the top, and the bodies were thrown into a big fire. The smell came back to me. I can’t explain how strange this is.

It was my fault they were dead. I should have tried harder to wake them. I shouldn’t have run; I should have gone down with the ship. I was devastated. It made me sick to think of my friend Clancy. 

I got enough information from the series of visits I made back to Cornish. I challenged the other side with a strong sign that what I saw was true. 

I questioned the other side why Clancy was Irish when they were in England. When did this happen? 

I pulled out my phone and first looked up the years the mines were in operation. It closed and opened many times, but I knew from “myself” it was around 1848, give or take a decade.

Mining in the area began in 1692, but the Wheal Tin Mine left today is from 1815 – 1914. Immigrants fled Ireland during and after the Potato Famine from 1845 to 1852. They were poor and looking for work. 

Here is where I got my strong sign confirming what I asked for; the name of the area where the Irish Immigrants arrived was Clare County. My birth name was Clare.

It can take 4-6 weeks for a lost piece of soul to fuse with the soul and more time for it to adjust to having that piece back. 

I’ve added doing insomnia reiki hand positions before bed and have a small plate of gemstones and crystals to help with sleep on my bedside table. 

I went back to Cornish, telling Robert (that’s me) it wasn’t his fault. He can’t blame himself; Clancy and his buddies didn’t know what hit them. 

Next, I saw him in a cardboard-type shack with a crude bed, a small table, a pee pot, a bowl, a spoon, and a tin cup. Everything was covered in soot. He was poorer than poor. I sat on the floor next to him and told him it was ok to go to sleep.

Now, I have to wait to see what happens. I may never be able to sleep, but exploring another one of my lives was amazing. 

The first soul retrieval I performed was from this lifetime. After thinking about it, I’ve decided there was too much hurt and pain during that time period to write about.

It didn’t seem like my life as Robert was real, but this was very real since it was about me. It took place while I was at Catholic Charities before I was adopted. I know my three spirit guides were with me for that month; therefore, I was never alone.

I love and respect my birth mother so much that I want to keep this private. She doesn’t need to think or have to relive that time in her life. Now, neither do I. 

I am beyond lucky and grateful I found her back in 2014. I have a close relationship with her, and I would never want to upset her with this. The important part of that soul retrieval is that it solved the attachment disorder I was being treated for.

When I saw my therapist after the soul retrieval, she was amazed at what I told her. After two more sessions, I didn’t need to see her anymore.

Next week, I will begin to write about the middle world. I did my biggest house clearing last week, helping 13 people to cross over, and I got rid of two negative energies. Not too shabby. Lol.

Have a great week, everyone!

Each week of this Sunday series about my healing and psychic gifts, I have gone further down the rabbit hole. Hold on to your hats for this one.

I mentioned in last week’s post I have three Spirit Guides. Cho-San is a Japanese Elder/Ancestor who, at first, I thought was Chinese. Walking Moon an Indian Chief & John the Baptist. Weird, right?

When I first met them, I thought it was interesting these were my Guides—digging more profound as to why it suddenly made so much sense to me.

My parents took me to the Elizabeth, NJ, Public Library when I was five. Each time I went, I would take out the same book over and over. 

My favorite book was called Dance, Dance Amy-Chan. It was a story about two little Japanese sisters, Amy & Suzy Chan. I knew the book by heart and loved the illustrations.

About seven years ago, Marty surprised me with a gift. He found a used copy of Dance Dance Amy-Chan. Wowzers!

I haven’t seen this book since I was little. When I opened the package, I was shocked that he had found it. I was more shocked that he remembered and looked for my favorite book! He is a keeper! 

I opened the book and read it aloud to Noah, Sam, Marty, Otto, and Klausie-boy. It all returned to me and how much I loved it and still do. 

Another thing to note is that when I was 5 or 6 years old, I thought that Asian girls were beautiful. I wished I was Japanese or Chinese with their shiny, straight, blue-black hair and porcelain faces. 

After my father’s death in 2000, I wanted to have a tattoo done to represent how I felt about him dying at only 61 years old of ALS. I immediately wanted to do a sleeve of Japanese cherry blossoms, not pink, but red.

In Japan, a cherry blossom represents life, death, and renewal. It’s a reminder that life is beautiful but short, like the flower itself on the cherry tree. I had my tattoo done in a watercolor effect reminding me of paintings of cherry blossoms.

My tattoo artist Larry and I came up with the design. It was his first watercolor piece. He nailed the hell out of it! I can’t tell you how many compliments I’ve received over this piece of artwork.

After doing two past life regressions, I figured out why I have Walking Moon and John the Baptist. It was unbelievable and answered some childhood fears. Scary, awful fears. 

When I was four or five, I had to go through a whole routine after my parents tucked me into bed. It was the only way I felt safe to fall asleep. I never told them this, or anyone for that matter. 

As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard marching using my third eye—a muffled marching. I would start to sweat and panic. I would lay on my stomach, stretch my legs out to the sides of the mattress and tuck my hands under my belly. This was every night for a couple of years.

I was afraid someone would come and crucify me while I was sleeping. At this age, I wasn’t in school yet and never took a religion class. The only thing I knew about Jesus and Easter was from my Nana and going to church, but not the specifics of Christ’s horrific death.

At that age, as far as Easter went, I cared more about wearing a new pink dress with my patent leather Mary Jane shoes and little white gloves. Oh, and my little purse. Yes, I’ve always been like this.

In the early 2000s, while working on my healing and psychic skills, I began researching past life regressions, something I had never heard of before. 

I started reading books written by Dr. Brian L Weiss. Next, I listened to his guided past life regressions. It was fascinating. I believed in reincarnation but learned it’s not like what I imagined. 

Every soul is pure energy, and to continue our soul work in earth school, the soul needs a vessel or a shell, a body.

It’s like recycling energy over and over, either learning lessons or not until we get it right. This is why we can feel that loved ones are still with us; we feel and recognize their energy. They are still with us. It’s a comforting thought to me.

Eventually, after getting over the scary idea of actually doing a past life regression on myself, I tried it instead of just listening to Dr. Weiss’ guided past life regressions.

It took me quite a few attempts over a couple of months to get myself into the necessary trance-like state of relaxation and consciousness. 

As a note, if you are frightened to journey or to do a guided meditation, you won’t be able to do it. It’s as simple as that. It’s like trying to put a square peg into a round hole. Also, they will not show you things above your skill level or are not ready to see.

In one past life regression, I was a woman. A regression starts from your death, and you work your way back as far as you can or wish to go.

I was a woman and face down in sandy dirt. My mouth was full of grit and blood; so were my eyes and ears. My body hurt everywhere. I realized I had been stoned to death and knew why.

Here is what freaked me out so much that I almost came out of the regression; I saw I was hiding behind a massive rock with my heart racing. 

I heard the sound of marching, the kind I heard when I was little. I saw I was hiding from marching soldiers, the ones who had Yeshua. 

I had never heard the name Yeshua before the regression. Yeshua was known as Jesus Christ, but our group called him Rabbi or Yeshua. I know, I know, this is a lot. 

I go back further and found myself with a group of women. We were what you would call groupies and followers of John the Baptist before Yeshua came into the picture. Prophets predicted John as the forerunner to Christ.

Jesus and John were related; John’s mother, Elizabeth, who gave birth to him at an old age, was a relative of Mother Mary. The Bible doesn’t say they were cousins since there is no word in Hebrew for cousin.

As John gained popularity quickly, he was imprisoned and beheaded by order of King Herod. Actually, at his daughter Salmone’s request. She wanted John the Baptist’s head brought to her on a platter. It makes me sick to even type this, especially typing their names which I have never done before.

I could feel the pain and grief again after John’s horrible death. I was sad, heartbroken, and angry he was taken from us in such a cruel way.

When I came out of that regression, I didn’t want to share it with my Sunday meditation group. I was shaken up. I thought they would think I was lying or making it up. Who has a famous person as their Spirit Guide?

I decided to share it with them even though I was an emotional wreck about it. That huge childhood fear I had of being crucified was real! It was a soul memory!  

I am almost positive that Walking Moon was an Indian Chief in one of the villages I lived in with my tribe in a previous life.

When I did another regression and went back to shortly before my death, I was an old woman with long white hair in braids. 

I was sitting in a canoe-type of a boat with one oar. I was paddling down a calm stream surrounded by trees. It was as though I was gliding on the water. It was quiet and peaceful. I was content. 

I remember hearing the sound of the paddle hitting the water. I came out of the regression quickly. It was a pleasant soul memory, finally.

Another regression returned to another childhood fear that went well into my teens. As you are regressing, it’s incredible that you can connect the dots in this life.

Whenever I went to a sleepover at someone’s house, went down the shore, or went on a trip with my friends, I would be overcome with the fear of my family dying while I was gone. 

I would lay awake at a sleepover and cry because I was so afraid. No one ever knew this fear of mine. Even as a teen on a boardwalk ride in Seaside, NJ, I again became paralyzed with that fear. I pushed it out of my mind and went back to having fun.

I never could figure out why I thought they would die while I was gone and would find them dead when I returned home. Until I did the following regression, that is.

I began at my death, a spear killed me in my back, and I was lying face down in leaves in the woods. I could smell the leaves and recognized where I was. 

I was a native Indian man out hunting for our village. All the women and children were slaughtered when I returned to the village. There was blood everywhere. 

I ran into the woods to see who did this and looked for my other tribe members. Well, we know what happens next; I was speared from behind and was gone before I knew it.

Right away, that other childhood/ teen fear of my family dying while I was out of town was again explained and made sense.

Now, I know people think I am either an excellent fictional writer with a great imagination or completely off my nut. I get it. It was hard to believe what I was doing just by reading books and listening to guided past life regressions.

When I finally learned how to get to that state of consciousness, the regressions became more accessible, and I didn’t need recorded guided regressions; I could do them myself. 

I did seven or eight of them a few months apart from each other. Each was amazing, and I felt connected to those past “me’s.”

I recognized my immediate family in my regressions. We all traded roles and genders, repeatedly trying to learn our soul’s lessons in earth school. 

I haven’t tried to do a regression to find out anything about the biological family members I’ve come to know and love. 

Besides my meditation group, Marty, and a couple of very close friends, I have never discussed this with anyone; for the very reason of people thinking I was crazy or as a person with a good imagination and storytelling skills. 

I promise everything I write about is genuine, honest, and authentic. This is a lot for me to share and a bit scary. I never thought I would write and publish my experiences in a million years, but here I am. 

It is an integral part of my blog, telling who I am, why I am the way I am, and how I got that way. In many of my past lives, I’ve seen myself outdoors as a woman cooking over open flames for either family or village members.

I live in a small town in Vermont where everyone will likely think I am a total whacked-out weirdo, but I don’t care; telling my story is more important. Some will think I am a witch, but remember, I promised not to be one this lifetime. 🤣

Have you ever met someone and felt like you have met before in another life? Have you had such a powerful deja vu moment that you felt like you did something before or recognized a place? 

When my youngest was in elementary school, he had an evening concert at school. When we got home, he took off his tie and unbuttoned his white dress shirt. 

He went into the kitchen and returned to the living room, holding a pretzel rod with the tip bit off like a cigar. He also had an old-fashioned glass with ice and juice in it, swirling it around. 

He sat down on the ottoman in a way I never saw before. Then he said, “I’ll tell you, kids, I haven’t felt that good in a long time, not since I was in Chicago.” What?? WTF?

I asked Sam what else he knew about Chicago a few days later. He rattled off streets, buildings, and places. I went on the computer, and surer than shit, he was right. How could this be? 

I always felt like he was an older, wise man or grandfather figure, so this confirmed my hunch. 

So, what exactly is a past life regression?

Here is a link to Wikipedia explaining it in depth and better than I ever could. 

There is so much information about it in books, YouTube videos, and the internet. I started with Brian L Weiss, MD, but many other safe guided meditations exist. 

I finally have my anxiety attacks under control with the proper medication, but I still deal with terrible insomnia. I can’t fall asleep before 3 am, getting between 3-5 hours of sleep a night. I am beyond exhausted. 

I sleep between 6-8 hours on Saturday nights into Sunday mornings since it’s our day off. I wake up well rested after 9 am, which I cannot do during the week. Sleep is highly underrated.

I am contemplating doing another past life regression to find the answer to my lifetime of insomnia possibly.

The hardest part of achieving that state of consciousness required to travel through time and space is complete silence with no one home, dogs barking, rescue scanners talking, or phone notification sounds. 

I will have an opportunity the last weekend of October when Marty and Sam are away at an EMS conference. I will be alone and can turn everything in the house off. 

Next week, I will write about the one and only soul retrieval I did on myself back in 2018 while in therapy for severe depression and attachment disorder. 

It changed my life; I got a lost piece of my soul back that I didn’t know I had lost and when. I didn’t feel alone anymore or afraid I would lose someone else.

Have a great upcoming week! There is still plenty more to write about in this series; I haven’t talked about the middle world yet, my specialty, or my calling. 

*** I took a big deep breath before pressing the publish button on this post. I don’t know why I am so nervous about putting it out there for everyone to see, but I am.

I’ve been thinking all week about how to write about the upper world, which is made up of many levels or layers. The first time I went to the upper world was with turtle; the only way I knew how to enter the upper world was with a power animal.

When I started the journey, I went to the lower world to get turtle, and he took me to a free-standing staircase with a million stairs. I carried turtle since he was so tiny, and the next thing he said was, “watch this!” The stairs began moving like a bullet train escalator at the speed of light. 

The stairs stopped even though we were nowhere close to the top. We got off and walked through a veil-like cloud into a more extensive meadow like the one in the lower world. 

Turtle told me to sit on the bench; this was made of marble, unlike the wooden one I sat on in the lower world. What’s with the benches, I thought? Lol.

Suddenly, an ancient Chinese ancestor or elder stood before me, coming out of thin air. He told me his name was Cho, and he was one of my spirit guides. That’s all he said telepathically to me.

Cho was dressed in a fancy red silk Chinese outfit with a hat. I thought he looked like Mr. Foomanchu with the skinny mustache. I could tell he didn’t have a sense of humor and was all business.

He vanished as quickly as he appeared. Another spirit guide presented himself to me. All I could think of was scrooge and how these spirits were visiting me.

He was Native American, and his name was Walking Moon. He had long dark hair with a square chin and chiseled cheekbones. He was tall and big. He was in his ceremonial wear with a huge feather headpiece. He was intimidating since he was huge.

I remember thinking holy shit! Even in heaven, I swore. They know every move and thought I’d had my whole life, so why stop swearing now? Lol.

After my initial meeting with Walking Moon, he is in more casual attire, a pair of pants and a denim-type shirt. When I asked him why he wasn’t dressed up, he said that’s for special occasions. Meeting him for the first time officially was a special occasion then. 

My third and final spirit guide appeared, and somehow I recognized him immediately. Not from photos in books but a past life. This was very weird and strange that I “knew” who he was.

He was an olive-skinned man with thick, long dark hair. He was dressed in light-colored short robes tied at the waist. He was very handsome. He had a white aura around him.

Then, my heart started beating faster; I couldn’t believe it was him; it was John the Baptist. I asked him if he was one of my guides, and he nodded. He didn’t speak to me. He didn’t have to tell me his name since I knew it already. He smiled when I said his name. Wow! Then he vanished. 

The next thing I knew, I was sitting on the bench in the lower world still with turtle. I asked him why my guides didn’t talk to me more. He told me they will. They have.

The next time I was allowed to go to the upper world was to visit the Akashic Records. I read about them and was doing research at the time while I was working on my skills.

Seeing what the Akashic Records looked like was my intention for the journey, which was granted to me accompanied by turtle.

We took the “fast stairs” again and, this time got off and walked into an enormous marble building. It was the most prominent building I’d ever seen. Everything was white and marble.

There were many “people,” many hallways, and more staircases with gold banisters. Turtle showed me around and told me this is where everyone’s soul information is stored from every life you’ve had and will have. 

The place seemed to go on forever, and while everyone looked happy, this was a serious place. Since my intention was to go to the Akashic Records, that was all I was allowed to do. I didn’t have access to any files in the millions of rooms. I could only stay in the hallways.

We walked down a staircase, and I was back to ordinary reality time lying on my bed. I made a mental note to be more specific next time.

I learned quickly that I don’t have to go to the lower world or upper world to speak to my spirit guides and power animals or ask for help since they are always available, like God, Jesus, Angels, and Ascended Masters.

The upper world was so enormous I felt like a spec of dust. There was so much to take in, and it was difficult even to comprehend what I saw. I was in complete awe. I felt so blessed I was able to visit the AK in the first place. It’s indescribable.

Last night, I tried to journey to the upper world to write about it. When turtle arrived, we flew up the fast stairs, and I was seated back on that marble bench in the meadow. 

My guides appeared, and I could tell they had something important to say to me. Cho, who addresses me as “young one,” shook his head at me, telling me no.

Walking Moon spoke to me in another language which I somehow understood. He told me I’d have to” use my references from within.” I talked to him in his language but didn’t know what I said. 

John just stood there and smiled at me. Is that all he was going to do? My mouth couldn’t form words to ask him anything. Then, I was back in bed, realizing I wouldn’t be shown anything new but had to reflect on what I already knew. I am sure turtle knew this but wasn’t allowed to tell me.

So that’s it for my upper world experiences. Now that I reopened the veil to the other side after having it closed for so many years, maybe I’ll try to come up with a specific reason to go back again. 

Next week, I will write about my spirit guides and why I have them. All my guides have to do with previous lives, which I learned through past life regressions. 

My guides now make total sense to me, and I’ve realized as a child, I had strong connections to each of them and never knew. They’ve been with me since the day I was born. 

I am still going to write about the middle world, but before that, I want to write about a soul retrieval I did on myself a couple of years ago with my guides while I was in therapy for severe depression.

I also want to write about the past life regressions I’ve done on myself. I can only do retrievals and regressions on myself and not others. The past life regressions I’ve done tie so much together for me.

When people discover I have psychic abilities, they always ask me if I see a loved one around them, but I don’t. I only communicate with middle-world spirits, which I try to help cross over and become unstuck. It’s not for the faint of heart.

Before closing, I want to touch on soul clusters since it belongs to the upper world. Sometimes if I know a person well enough, I can recognize them as another person in a past life. They are part of my soul cluster which we all have.

A soul cluster is the souls you work with over and over, coming back to earth school to try to learn our soul’s lessons. It’s usually family and close friends or people you have in your life. You may have met them already or not yet. All the souls in the cluster make agreements with each other before going back to earth school for specific purposes.

They may come back as a good lesson or a test. I wrote in an earlier blog post that before we come back for another life, we plant soul reminders so we can recognize people in our soul cluster and know they should be in our life. Good and bad people included.

Bad people are just as important as good and loving ones. Bad people are “tests” to see if you have learned their lesson or continue to make the same mistake over and over for many lifetimes.

God knows a couple of souls in my life have been extremely difficult, hard lessons; my mother, for one example. I have no idea if I passed or failed, but when they died, I said out loud that I don’t want to do that again with that soul through all bands of time, which means forever, no matter how many times we come back.

Everyone has intuition and gut feelings that we should always listen to. I believe people know the difference between good and bad people and situations; it’s our free will to make correct choices and decisions.

People believe some things are left up to destiny or fate, but ultimately, we all have free will and must make the best decisions for ourselves and not blame it on destiny or fate. We are all responsible for every decision, lesson, and test.

No living person is perfect; if we were, we wouldn’t be here; we would be a helper in the upper world, hanging out in paradise. I’ve been told this is my 453 life; I am a slow learner. Lol.

This post took a lot out of me.; writing about the middle world will be even more complex. This series is essential since it answers many questions about who I am and how I got that way.

Enjoy the rest of your Sunday, guys!  ❤️

***I didn’t intend to write psychic and healing blog posts more than once a week, but even though I did write about my cat Sheba, I will continue my Sunday series on those topics.

Last Sunday, I wrote about Shamanic journeying and briefly explained the three worlds, the upper world, the middle world, and the lower world.

The lower world is where I learned how to journey. This is where I work with my power or spirit animal turtle, my lifelong power animal, but I have met with several others during different situations in my life.

The first time I tried to journey to meet my power animal, I didn’t know what to expect. Everley began playing Shamanic rhythmic drumming for our meditation group on a drum she made.

Everyone’s portals to the three worlds are different; mine is a huge redwood forest tree. The tree has a large hole or portal. When I step into the portal, I usually slide down the tree’s roots, twisting and turning until I get to the bottom. Some slides are crazy fast. Others are slower; I don’t know if that has a meaning.

There are three directions for me to go once I get there. If I go to the left, I am led down a forest path to a small beautiful blue body of water surrounded by large rocks. The sun is always shining on the rocks, and they are warm. 

If I go straight, I am led to a green meadow with wildflowers, and there is a bench made of wood and a back. This is where I usually meet power animals for the first time.

The first time I journeyed, I was led to the bench. I sat down and looked at the meadow and the woods surrounding the meadow. I was expecting to see an animal run or jump toward me.

As I sat on the bench, I looked down to my right foot, and there was a small green turtle. He said, “I’ll bet you were expecting something fuzzy, right?” It made me laugh because he was right. I told him I was, but he was adorable too.

Turtle is my power animal because I am impatient and like to do things fast. I don’t like to wait for things. It made sense to have a turtle; he has slowed me down immensely.

The third direction is to the right, down a path leading straight to a large cave. The first time I was led there, I was afraid. I could see the light in the cave down a dark tunnel. I felt whoever I would meet in the cave wouldn’t be soft and fuzzy either.

As I walked toward the orange-yellow light, I saw a fire and a large, mean-looking hawk. There were stones lined up like a classroom. Hawk was a teacher and very stern.

He told me, “Sit down squaw,” in a loud booming voice. This made sense to me why he called me this after I did another past life regression.

All I could think of was what I did and where the turtle was. Hawk was my power animal when I was out of control with different stressful situations, things that were worrying me sick, literally with my ulcerative colitis.

He showed me a hawk-eye view of the situation and how ridiculous I was to be so stressed and upset. After a visit with hawk, I was able to deal with whatever situation came up. Each time he led me to the cave, I knew he would scold me and show me the big picture; over and over again.

Over the years, I have had different power animals for short periods. Recently, I met a tiger. I had to face a situation that required the right timing, strength, and courage. 

I knew what I needed to do but was dragging my feet; after I saw the tiger, I knew it was time to have a discussion with a friend who was dealing with acute depression and on a path of self-destruction.

I spoke with my friend the next day, and the talk went smoothly. Now the ball is in their court to get help; it’s not my place to go further than tell them the truth. Even today, I don’t think they got help or spoke to the doctor.

Sometimes I go to the lower world to hang out with turtle. I always plunge into the water, swim to one of those warm rocks, and wait for him to join me. We sit together; it’s very relaxing and feels like paradise. Sometimes we chat; other times, we sit in silence, usually with him on my lap. I’ve never touched a turtle in real life, let alone kiss one on his head when I leave.

There are many times I try to go to the lower world with an intention or a question. Try as I might, sometimes I can’t get the portal in the tree to appear, and I know the journey isn’t going to happen. I guess it’s not the right time to find the answer I was looking for. You cannot bully your way to the other worlds; it happens when it happens, even though it’s frustrating when it doesn’t.

Whenever I do a house clearing, I call in turtle to help me, along with my three spirit guides and some Archangels. Turtle is there whenever I need him without going to the lower world; I have to ask for help. It’s like that when working with angels as well; they are waiting for us to ask for help. They can’t help us if we don’t ask, so I ask a lot.

When I was learning to journey with my meditation group Everley would change the drum rhythm when she did a callback. A callback is a rhythm for us to recognize to return to ordinary reality. Sometimes I am in the middle of something awesome in the lower world, and I hear the drumming get faster, then stop, followed by seven fast beats bringing us back then and there.

I’ve learned to journey without drumming and can return to ordinary reality by myself whenever I want during the journey. I wish I could explain it better; it just happens.

People who have a hard time with traditional meditation may find this easier than trying to think of anything. In my blog post title, Journeying, I added a link for anyone who would like to know more and possibly take a stab at it themselves.

Remember not to try too hard or have a preconceived notion of what will happen because it’s not up to us; it’s up to the other side. If you are frightened, it will not happen; the other side works with your comfort level and abilities.

One of our meditation people we found out was so frightened when trying to see their power animal it would not happen. Finally, after months of trying, the group journeyed to find out their power animal.

We all cried out at the journey’s end, “Bobcat!” If that’s not confirmation, I don’t know what it is; we were stunned and amazed! Right, Everley?

When journeying, it’s a bit like lucid dreaming, except you are aware of everything in the ordinary and non-ordinary worlds. You must focus on what you are seeing and learning and make mental notes to remember it.

When I journeyed with a group, we would all tell what our journey was like and try to decipher things. When I journey alone, I do the same thing. I recount what I sometimes saw out loud, so I would remember.

Some things don’t make sense to me for days or weeks, but when I figure it out, it’s always a moment of, “Ah, that’s what they were trying to tell me.” Sometimes you understand a journey immediately.

I plan to teach one of my friends how to journey in the next few weeks. I know she will be great at it and love the lower world since she is already so connected to nature and animals. We may both write about it; we will see how it goes.

Well, that’s another blog post in this series. Next week, I am planning to write about the upper world. It will take me a week to figure out how to explain it. It’s the most heavenly place in the three worlds with a lot to explore and learn. I’ve barely scratched the surface since I don’t go here often.

It’s difficult for me to get to, but when I am allowed, it’s the most beautiful place where all the Angels, Archangels, Ascended Masters, Spirit Guides, Buddha, Jesus, and the rest of the big guys reside.

The upper world is a place of infinite wisdom and where the Akashic Records are stored. It is a place of great respect and gratitude. Your power animal or a guide must take you to the upper world; you can’t go there alone. I hope you’ll join me as we explore the next realm through my eyes.

Today, I am in a cooking mood while tackling laundry. We have a very busy week coming up. We have a large order to fill and deliver to our Pennsylvania distributor in Albany, NY, on Thursday, along with our regular wholesale orders and farmers market spätzle production.

It’s definitely Oktoberfest season, and we are beyond grateful for every package and order we fill.

I’ve got some food posts on the back burner to write this week, as the cooler weather has produced some fall food cravings. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday! 🙂

*** I always include images in my blog posts because I am visual and look for photos as closely as possible to what I am trying to describe. Thank goodness for Pinterest, which is where I find many of the images I use. I always give credit to a known source or photo credit.