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For the last few years, I have had three stressful recurring dreams. How I feel in these dreams is being lost, unprepared, stressed, and bewildered.
I know the places in these three places. I spent significant time in these places and sometimes felt like I didn’t belong.
One dream is returning to a job and returning to the same shit show I had in reality.
Another dream is being lost in a city I thought I knew and couldn’t understand why things weren’t where I thought they were.
The last dream is going down the stairs in a train station and always being on the wrong side of the track, unable to get to work or home.
As soon as I wake up from these dreams, I remember them in detail, reviewing how the scenario differed from the last.
I have these dreams every other week or so. Having these dreams without a positive or better outcome is stressful and tiring.
As I dream, I am aware I am having these dreams again. I dread that I am in these situations again. I say to myself in the dream things like, oh no! This shit is happening again, or why? What the fuck?
God knows I have written about my mental health since the beginning of this blog. People who experience reoccurring dreams and nightmares are usually dealing with depression, PTSD, anxiety, and panic disorder. That’s me.
These are common recurring dreams with definite meanings. Researching the implications of these dreams includes feeling lost, not fitting in, and not where I should be at this point in my life, either spiritually or physically.
I never feel lost or do not fit in because I am highly adaptable. I am confident about who I am—not being at the right place at this point in my life? Well, hell, I’m not a millionaire yet. Lol.
Am I at a point in my life where I am stuck? I had one of these dreams again last night after having one just a few days ago. I felt compelled to write about it today.
I’m not looking for advice; I’m writing about it because I want to share important things about my life. This has turned into a more significant something lately.
From the beginning of this blog, my goal was to be my true, honest, authentic self. A fucked up person at times, yet someone who tries her hardest to be kind, loyal, supportive, and loving with all her heart.
I’ve been told I am a highly evolved soul, which you can read about in the “My Gifts” section of the blog. Older souls agree to help people in their soul cluster learn lessons.
Perhaps I feel this way because the relationships and lessons I agreed to weren’t fulfilled in this life again. Am I the problem? Are they my lessons or the other people’s in agreement? I don’t know.
Some agreements crashed and burned even though I tried my hardest with different people in different scenarios. People who constantly manipulated me and caused me heartache, stress, and pain.
However, I’ve said for years that I must have been one stupid son of a bitch in a past lifetime; to deserve hurt and pain. Was it karma?
Ironically, that was the name, stupid son of a bitch; my mother screamed at me when I was a child. 😞 What kind of person does that?
These complex agreements and scenarios have made me the strong person I am. A person who never wants another person to feel the way I felt.
This makes sense to me now. My message could be to let go of the past and move on, which is much easier said than done, and how?
Many hours later, as I researched more answers to this piece, I stumbled upon an article about whether these are recurring dreams or lost parts of my soul.
Bingo! As I read the title, I realized I had lost pieces of my soul whenever I had to go into survival mode. This usually comes from trauma, sickness, and abuse, whether it’s mental, physical, or emotional.
As I am thinking about where I lost pieces of my soul, I can pinpoint where and when it happened. I went into survival mode when I was a child. I have lived in survival mode for most of my adult life.
Wow! I’ve done soul retrievals on myself in past life regressions, and one occurred when I was a baby in this lifetime. It’s time for me to get back to work.
Whenever I am troubled, writing is therapeutic for me. In my report, such as today, I found an excellent place to start finding ways to get all of me back.
Writing certainly helps with healing, but I still have a long way to go. I didn’t realize until my mother passed away how broken, hurt, disappointed, and angry she left me.
The part that hit me the hardest was that she never apologized for anything she did to me, and now she never will. This goes back to the agreement I mentioned earlier, which crashed and burned.
Could taking pieces of my soul back help me leave those traumas and abuse in the past?
Have any of you had recurring dreams? You don’t have to answer in the comment section, but you can email me at julziestyle@gmail.com if you would like to share your experiences with me.
Enjoy your day tomorrow; we are in for another snowy day here in Arlington, VT, which is fine with me. ❄️
Update…I lost a few more readers with this post. Some people can’t handle things I write about concerning past lives and spiritual things that aren’t their own.
I can’t take it personally or let it bother me. I know I am not everyone’s cup of tea. 🫖
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