Bittersweet…

The definition of bittersweet is a blend of sad and happy feelings. That’s what I was feeling last night at the fair.

We had a family Sunday dinner at our place with Noah, Sam, and Aja on Sunday.

These are the dinners I dreamed of when the boys were young bickering at the dinner table. I honestly never thought we’d have enjoyable dinners.

I’m so happy I was wrong. It took until the boys were fully matured and on the right paths of their lives.

At the table, we talked about going to the Washington County Fair in NY this week. We didn’t go last year because I was so ill.

Well, we went with Noah and Aja last night and it was so much fun! We all looked forward to it all week and the evening turned out spectacular.

As we walked around the fair I would see all of Noah’s favorite places in the fair when he was little. I wasn’t really sad, but I got a little choked up.

We had him as an only child for four years and did everything we could for us to do family things.

Walking around the fair with him for the first time in almost two decades was bittersweet, indeed.

Watching him and Aja walking around together and interacting as two people in love made me so happy.

We had a lot of laughs and a great time, but we stopped going because the fair was pretty boring when just the two of us went.

We went with Sammy a few years ago and it was hot as hell. We had a wonderful time with Sam even though we were running for shade constantly. lol.

I could see in my mind’s eye how excited Noah would get when he saw the tractors. That was all he cared about.

I could still hear him make tractor sounds, and it made me smile from ear to ear. Last night, he said how much he loved sitting on all the tractors.

I loved walking around with Aja and having fun together. We watched the piggy races, which I don’t think she has seen before. It’s so corny, but we all wanted to watch the race.

On our way home from the fair, it was funny listening to them talking about how their feet and backs hurt.

I could imagine going to the fair with my future grandchildren and showing them the animals and farm equipment, just like we did with our boys.

When we looked at crafts for sale for children, I told Aja that I will go broke when we have grand-babies.

I was walking ahead like I always do, thinking last year I would have been unable to walk around at all. I praised God for my second chance at life.

When Marty and I got home, we talked about what an awesome evening it was. I told him my mama heart with so full and happy.

It was a magical night! 🪄