For the last couple of weeks, Marty and I, along with some of his close friends and family, helped pull off a magnificent celebration of life event for his wife and our friend, Eileen.
Martin’s home is a gigantic historic home on the national registry, once a location where a babysitter looked after Abraham Lincoln’s grandchildren.
The home has been undergoing a massive restoration done the right way. Once you start opening these old homes’ plaster and lath walls, you never know what you will find. In Martin’s case, he has had to redo all the plumbing and electrical in every room.
Each room was a construction zone of chaos, debris, and clutter. Since the invitations to the celebration of life were sent out, there was a deadline to whip the place into shape. Some rooms are still under construction, but they were presentable for a gathering.
Eventually, with the help of a small army, the house was ready for the celebration. Martin being a chef, planned an elegant luncheon for the 50+ guests.
Marty and I were a part of a small kitchen crew that helped prepare the food. This is our comfort zone in the “back of the house” at any party or event.
Our first task was to create a massive charcuterie board. When I asked Martin how he wanted it, he told me to do whatever I thought. Lots of pressure right there, folks.
Taking on the preparation of a food course at an important event for two classically trained chefs, Martin and his ex-wife Maureen made my heart beat harder for a minute.
Martin and Maureen have a wonderful relationship despite their divorce. She came from Pennsylvania with her partner and killed it in the kitchen. She wanted Martin to mingle and enjoy the get-together celebrating Eileen, not working his ass off in the kitchen with us.
I looked at all the meats, cheeses, greenery, and carefully sliced smoked salmon that Martin provided and decided not to stress about it. Marty and I started working on filling the gigantic mirror display board. The mirror was huge, but the board began to come together almost on its own.
Once Marty and I decided where to start, it went smoothly. When we stepped back to look at our display, we even surprised ourselves.
Others were setting up large round tables with their linens and chairs around them. Some set up a bar. Others filled cannoli shells, cut pies, washed dishes, helped assemble salads. There was a lot to do, and it all got done in time.
The celebration of life for my friend Eileen was done in Quaker fashion. Most people had never attended a Quaker “meeting” before and weren’t sure what to expect. Martin greeted the crowd and explained how a Quaker meeting works.
Everyone sits in silence; then, when someone feels moved, they share a memory of the loved one. After the person is finished speaking, everyone is silent again, letting the memory resonate with everyone.
It was touching and sad, along with laughter during people’s memories. I have much more to write about the beautiful friendship that I had with Eileen, but this will have to wait for another day. I can’t do it yet. These last two grief-filled weeks have been difficult enough dealing with my mother’s declining health and passing.
I wanted to get up to speak but knew I wouldn’t be able to get the words out through my tears. Marty shared a funny memory about how we met the Sullivans, which I was grateful for.
After the “meeting,” we raced to the bar, grabbed a glass of rośe champagne, and ran to the back of the house. We set up an outdoor kitchen the day before using our Oktoberfest cooking equipment, perfect for grilling off six big beef tenderloin filets and asparagus.
Chef Maureen checked in with us, and we knew exactly what to do. Marty gave the filets a good sear on our flattop grill then moved them to a gas grill to finish them off. The beef was done to a perfect medium-rare. Maureen let the beef rest before slicing it and placing it on gigantic platters.
My task of grilling the asparagus was fun. I filled my half of the flattop grill with asparagus that was simply coated in olive oil, salt & pepper. The asparagus came out wonderfully, the outsides grilled to a golden brown, crisp-tender in the middle.
Being outside in the rain under our tent, grilling food, sipping champagne, and hanging out with a few people was fantastic. This was the perfect spot for us in the back of the house. Inside, it was hot and crowded with tons of people we didn’t know.
The crowd loved our charcuterie board, followed by the menu of sliced filet mignon, Caesar salad, a seafood salad. Pasta salads were made with imported Italian macaroni and another with our spätzle as a gluten-free option. There were warm dinner rolls and, of course, the grilled asparagus.
We ate in the kitchen, far away from the guests, along with the Patty Griffin work crew. We ate, laughed, and drank wine. We cracked up about how Martin was able to pull off such a successful celebration.
The work crew we were a part of became good friends over the last two weeks. We’ve made plans to stay in touch and meet again after the holidays, this time just for friendship, laughs, more wine, and some great food. The only person missing was Eileen, even though I knew she was present looking down at all of us.
I didn’t have a spare moment to take any food photos besides the charcuterie board I took before the event began. My phone was tucked away on not disturb, and I didn’t remember to take pictures until everything was devoured. 🤦🏻♀️
Beautiful celebration, created with so much love — thank you for sharing!
A wonderful way to be remembered!