Since Otto passed away at the beginning of the month Klaus has been different. At times he is glum and depressed and it got worse especially after Sam left.
A few times he was happy when he got his first toys for Christmas, but he’s not interested in them anymore. On the bright side, he is interested in me, a little. Lol.
I don’t know if he sensed my sadness or I could pay attention to him without a dog fight. Klaus was a strong alfa and needed to show everyone who was boss. Everyone but Sam that is, Sam could get him to do anything. Sam was the pack leader.
Marty is working on taking that role in the pack. Mine is still to feed and nurture. I’ve been Klaus’ private chef for years and he knows not to bite the hand that butters your bread so to speak.
After Otto’s absence was more than obvious, Klaus started following me around like Otto did. Up and down the stairs. In and outside. In and out of rooms.
Last week, I asked him if he wanted to go for a ride. We could never take either dog for a ride or one would get jealous which led to growling and the fur on their backs standing on end. We were always on the lookout for this forewarning.
Now, if I am running a quick errand or local delivery I take him with me. He loves it and I like having him with me.
Klaus and I are getting to know each other better even after 8 years. He is still lost and not quite sure what to do, or even where to lay down. It’s sad he misses Sam and Otto so much.
Marty and I are helping him along and trying to get him into new routines and activities. Next week, he won’t be very happy since is is going to the vet for a surgery consultation.
He has had a cyst on his back right paw for a while. We agreed with the vet if it gets worse it has to be taken care of. Of course, during the last month it got worse. Not what we needed so soon, it hasn’t even been a month since we lost Otto.
Anyway, Klaus is my new co-pilot and I don’t even care about getting pet hair all over my trucks seats. I needed to get an air freshener, so the inside of the truck doesn’t smell like a dog.
Happy New Year everyone! Cheers! 🥂 Here is to better days ahead. I’ll catch up with you next year!
I got a consolation prize when Sam moved out; his bedroom and closet. I knew exactly what I wanted to accomplish; it was just a matter of doing it. After Monday’s downstairs cleaning project, I worked on the new upstairs flex space.
Flex space is one of those new words to me in the last ten years. People have used rooms for multi-purposes for decades; now, it has a designer name. Our flex space would become half guest room and half music room.
Not everyone has a huge poster of themselves that hung in the kiosk of Bennington’s Four Corners a few years ago for a fundraising show we were hosting. I never thought I’d have an appropriate space to hang it up.
I’ve had my electronic drum kit packed away for about six years. I had a friend who was my drum teacher, but that was a bad idea. Period. I found I could naturally follow rock songs I knew by heart, but I still had a lot of work to play correctly and build up the muscle in my right base drum leg.
Marty’s dad’s piano and my other drums and tambourine.
We also brought up Marty’s dad’s piano, another instrument I want to learn to play. I have my middle eastern drums and a cajon, a drum you sit on. I don’t know how to play the cajon, but I want to learn. Marty has a guitar he wants to learn to play.
Never having a place to set up a music space stopped us from playing and learning; now, there are no excuses. I also want to learn to speak French; there is no excuse for that except laziness.
Like many others, covid taught me to start doing the things I still wanted to do and places to travel to. This is my chance to start learning. I won’t tackle everything at once, but I will start with the drums and how to speak French.
The guest bedroom half of the room came together in a snap. The large armoire now houses all the linens for the bedrooms and bath. I’ve never had a centralized space that will make changing linens easier than hunting around for matching duvets and sheet sets.
As for Sam’s closet, I finally have a closet dedicated to my belly dance costuming, which is a lot after 20 years. I can now see and touch everything easily and not have to go through oversized totes shoved into my closet. This is a total luxury to me, and I love it!
This closet has a lot, including 9 totes, a shelving unit, cubbies, and suitcases tucked under everything on the floor. How the fuck I fit it all in my closet is beyond me.
I also got around to filling my new old armoire my friend Marcia gave me before she moved back to France. It was her childhood furniture growing up in Paris. It fit perfectly in our bedroom, but I was unsure what to fill it with and had no time to figure it out.
I filled it with all of my favorite things! It’s a magical armoire to me now displaying my favorite books and items that mean a lot to me. All the other junk I had I got rid of. All my treasures in one place and perfect use of the Parisian piece.
I worked hard after production for two days, about 15 hours worth of decluttering, cleaning, and organizing. Marty helped me with the new flex space yesterday. We set up my drum kit, and I sat down, trying to remember what I had learned.
New linen armoire and tv to learn on! Yay!
Sam’s room has a TV he left behind, which I can watch on YouTube. I found plenty of drumming for beginners’ videos and can easily see the tv from the drum kit. I started watching an instructional video with a young woman as the teacher. I like the way she taught and will probably use her.
That’s what I’ve been up to; I haven’t cooked a real meal since Christmas. Marty has been working out in his workshop, so we have found easy to prepare foods to eat in between projects.
We will be in production tomorrow and make a couple of deliveries, then that’s it. We are taking Saturday off from the market and will enjoy our holiday weekend. We don’t have any concrete plans yet, but I am sure we will hang out with friends and celebrate the upcoming new year.
This morning, Sam left to go home to Essex, VT; he is starting a new job tomorrow at UVM Medical Center in their Emergency Department. A fantastic opportunity for him to see and learn so much.
As soon as he left, I cried for a few minutes and decided to take down the Christmas tree. This is not new; I try to get the house back to normal as soon as possible. Last year, I waited until New Year’s Day since my sister Jennifer and her kids Sofia and Julian visited over the holiday break.
The tree looked great in the corner, but this is so clean looking!
It’s incredible how long it takes to decorate and how quickly everything gets packed away. Marty was also working on projects to keep ourselves busy and not sit around moping. Before we knew it, the house was sparkling clean, clean enough for a real estate visit, I always say.
While I was cleaning, I was sad because I realized when I decorated at the beginning of December, we had five family members living here; we only have three while I am taking everything down. I still can’t believe Otto isn’t with us anymore. Sam leaving at the same time has been a hard pill to swallow.
Such a peaceful space with good energy for Otto’s ashes.
I made a place for Otto’s ashes, his paw print, and photos on the shelf in our living room. We still haven’t been able to look in the bag everything came in. I put the bag on the shelf in the meantime. It is comforting knowing he is home with us. I touch the bag and speak softly to him in the morning and at night. I lose it every time because I miss him so much.
Marty and I have many winter projects planned now that Sam doesn’t live here anymore. His room will be a guest and music room. His closet will become my costuming closet. Marty will install electricity in both of my closets and put in lights so I can finally see things and find them easily.
The little vintage Christmas tree and manger are lovely, but this I love, nice and simple.
Marty said he didn’t think our house had even been so clean, organized, light, and airy. He is 100% right since that’s been our goal since covid started decluttering and minimalizing our home.
The house feels different without Sam and Otto’s energy here. The house is tranquil since Klaus doesn’t make any noise unless someone comes to the door. Otto was a big-time whiner and was needy. Klaus had started following me around the house like Otto did, which is funny because he never gave two shits about me before unless I was feeding him. LOL. Maybe he senses I am lonely and sad.
Hopefully, I will adjust to this new chapter of our lives soon, but I am still struggling. I do have to say, on the bright side, the house looks great. The new occasional chairs we purchased when we gave away the old sectional are comfortable and sleek. I put up lighter, gauzy curtains, and we bought a new shag rug to lighten the space further.
Today it’s all about eating the leftovers from Christmas Eve and Day; then, we can start fresh. I have to learn to cook for only two of us since I am not feeding two men anymore, plus I always made sure there were enough leftovers for Sam’s work dinners.
Have a great night; it’s back to work for us tomorrow, which is a good thing; keeping myself busy keeps my head out of my ass!
Wednesday our dance troupe had our annual Holiday Hafla which is basically a party.
In the past, we’ve had official performances with a potluck dinner and invited out of town dancers. This year, our Hafla was very casual without any planned performances.
We had small eats such as cheeses, fruit, spiced nuts and a few bite size desserts. Everything was delicious and easy to eat by popping the snacks into your mouth without utensils. Thanks for thinking of me with the GF snacks guys!
I began the evening in a circle and led our gratitude moving meditation which we do before every class and performance.
Each dancer took a turn leading with just a look from the person next to them . We didn’t plan it, that’s the beauty of improv, you never know what’s going to happen.
When the song was over I thanked the troupe for making me a better teacher and dancer and for coming in the first place.
The core group of 8 dancers are all at different levels but somehow everyone knows how to take care of their fellow dance sister on the dance floor and off.
I told them dance literally saved my life 20 years ago. At that time I was in a deep, dark place and suicidal. The boys were very young, thank God Marty recognized the signs and got me into therapy.
After many months of therapy my therapist told me before he would end my sessions I needed to find something that I would enjoy doing, something I was passionate about, something just for me.
When he asked what my thoughts were I told him I grew up as a dancer and missed it. The next month I learned about belly dance classes in Bennington.
I knew it was a sign since the classes were on Thursday nights at 5 pm the same time as my therapy sessions. I could trade one for the other since the time was already “my time.”
After that, I got my groove back. I felt like my old self again. I fell in love with everything about our dance from American Tribal Style Belly Dance. The rest is history.
I love the women I have danced with in the past and the ones I dance with now. We are all there for different reasons but the common denominator is we are taking time for ourselves. Dance is self care and works wonders.
We had a lot of fun at the Hafla and said goodbye until the new year. We only have a one week hiatus this year, most years were are on break for two. I am glad it’s only one since dance days are still my favorite days of the week.
Right now, we are on our way to the farmers market on Christmas Eve. At home I have my dinners for today and tomorrow prepped and set. I wrapped gifts at 3:30 am.
I have a couple more things to pick up at the market today, for the record I have NEVER been a last minute shopper, but we’ve been so busy with the business I haven’t had time to do much of anything else.
The few Christmas cards I send to my family members will have to be sent afterwards. A few years ago this would have been a tragedy, now, it’s life and I am grateful our business is busy and we count our blessings.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and good tidings to all. ♥️
Update: The two vendors I was planning on finishing my Christmas shopping with are absent! 😫 Shit, shit, shit I’ll never be a last minute shopper again! Ugh!
We saw a rainbow just as we left Arlington on Saturday, a good sign.
Hey guys! It’s been a while since I’ve written a post but things have been busy moving Sam into his new place up in Essex, VT.
In addition to helping Sam, the business is crazy busy with holiday orders. Marty did the farmers market alone on Saturday and came up yesterday to help us finish with the move. He brought Klaus with him.
Sam and I worked non-stop for two days packing up his grandparent’s belongs which were either recycled in his decor, donated or had to be thrown out.
We grabbed bites to eat out and also did a lot of shopping to get the things he needed or wanted; like a system for a smart home.
I basically moved stuff out and he moved stuff in. At one point, I never thought I’d be done. When Marty arrived yesterday morning, team Irion kicked into overdrive.
This was Klausie-boys first time going to anyone’s house and taking a long car trip. He stayed by Marty’s side the entire time, even on walks without his lease.
Klaus had a hard time finding a place to sleep since this was his first real sleepover. He roamed the house going up and down the stairs until Marty slept on the couch with him.
Slowly, one room at a time was completed and gave us a sense of accomplishment to keep going.
While Marty and Sam worked on things I couldn’t help with, I pressed on and by 9 pm we were done!
While we were up north, when I say restaurant and store orders flooded in, I mean by a tsunami. I am always happy we are continually getting orders but it makes going away super stressful.
This morning, while I am writing, we are heading home. We have to go straight into production when we get back to start digging out of the mountain of spätzle orders.
Klaus is doing fabulous on the ride home, the instrumental Christmas music we are listening to is not only is beautiful, but has a calming effect on him.
In other news, my older son, Noah spent the weekend in NYC with his girlfriend, Aja celebrating his 27th birthday.
I saw a quick video clip of the view from their Times Square hotel room; holy shit what a view! It was spectacular!!
In the car this morning, I saw photos that Aja posted. I started crying because they look so happy!
My heart is overjoyed since I have never seen my son with such a happy and authentic smile before. It’s all I really want, for both of my sons; is to be truly happy.
Marty and I are our kids biggest fans and love watching everything unfold right before our eyes.
I am a weeping quietly on the ride home. Part of my tears are that Sam has a beautiful, clean and tidy place to start a new life and job position in. I am relieved it’s all done.
Some tears are from Noah’s happiness with someone very special. I am so proud of him and how great he is at his career.
A few sad tears are knowing that this is Sam’s new home and he won’t be around anymore.
A few tears are from being overtired and overwhelmed with the business and the holidays literally around the corner.
I love cooking around the holidays; cooking it’s my zen all year and cooking holiday meals is my favorite time of the year! Feeling rushed and short on time is taking the wind out of my sails.
Maybe a couple of tears are realizing we can take Klaus on road-trips making traveling a possibility for us; something that wasn’t an option before. Poor little Otto never would have been able to handle it. Gosh, I miss my sweet boy so much, today especially. 💔
All of those tears are bittersweet. Marty and I have had a great year and made a lot of new friends. We began to socialize again on a weekly basis. I love entertaining and can’t wait to have my new friends over after the holidays.
We are moving forward and growing older together making a lot more great memories and having a millions more laughs.
Have a great week guys, I’ll catch up with you as soon as I can. I have to remember to take deep breaths and live in the moment.
Oh, last thing, I plan to drink plenty of Poinsettia cocktails which is champagne or proscesso topped off with a splash of cranberry juice. Float a couple of real cranberries in for a festive look.
***Update: It’s evening and we filled a shit ton of orders and brought them to our distributor. Tomorrow, we will work on our restaurant orders.
Current situation, I’m baking a dessert for our “shut up and dance” holiday belly dance party tomorrow night.
While editing this post I made myself a martini. I bought some bleu cheese stuffed olives at Trader Joe’s last night and they have been whispering, “make a martini” all day. ✔️
I still have a few gifts to wrap, cards to write and send out, plus a two hour playlist to make for the belly dance party, all are fun activities and the martini will bring out the crazy, happy Julz.
Our small tree in a corner for the first time since we bought our home in 2004. We love it there; it’s out of the way and not blocking the precious light that comes in during this dark time of the year.
I haven’t written about my youngest son Sam, who works as a nurse in the ER in Bennington and accepted a job up in Burlington, VT, at UVM Medical Center’s level 1 trauma ER.
Level 1 means the highest level of care for severe trauma patients, which is right up his alley. It’s the next step in his career, and we are excited for him.
Over the next couple of weeks, he will be packing, moving, and unpacking, getting everything set for his start date of 12/27. Long before Sam got his new job, I’ve been throwing out tons of shit and donating many other items.
It’s a daunting task, but after having to go through all my parent’s things twice and getting rid of their stuff, I don’t want our boys to go through that. It overwhelming and makes you feel guilty when you start chucking stuff.
While I will miss Sam after he moves, I will gain a new closet for my belly dance costuming and other pieces of clothing like coats, jackets, and shoes. Yay! We will also gain a proper guest room and not have to squeeze company into our tiny office space. Yay!
While he is packing, I am cleaning out and organizing things on the main floor. I genuinely feel like I did when I was pregnant with both boys, getting the nest ready but this time cleaning it out.
So we will officially be empty nesters, which is bittersweet. Knowing that both our boys, now men, are on their own, successful in their careers, are hard workers, and are polite and have manners. Yay!
This year when Marty and I went to get our Christmas tree. We wanted something small, which was still expensive. We were shocked to see how much the prices rose on trees was this year, like everything else.
We have low ceilings in our 1832 post and beam, showing how small the tree really is.
Many people may bite the bullet and buy an artificial tree for a one-time purchase, but I vowed when I moved out that I would never have one; I would do without but not go the fake route.
Our first real tree was back in 1989, the year we were married and moved to Vermont.We slowly collected ornaments from our families over the years. Now they are put away for when Noah and Sam have their own families and Christmas trees. We went with purple, silver, pink, and white after my mother-in-law passed away and my mother had her stroke. I couldn’t look at them after that.
Why not a fake tree? Growing up, we had a fake tree that my father never took apart. Instead, he would carry it down to the basement with the lights and tinsel still on it.
Me and the infamous Christmas tree.
He would shove it up under the basement stairs and throw a big green garbage bag over the top. The following year, he would carry it back up to the living room for us to decorate. The tree looked exactly the same every year.
Me and the same tree; the tinsel held up well over the years, I guess. 😂
I didn’t realize how pathetic that was until I was an adult with my own kids. I guess my father hated putting up a Christmas tree.
We also never had Christmas lights outside. My father said he decorated once and that “little son of a bitch paper boy” unscrewed bulbs and smashed them on the sidewalk.
How did my father know it was the paperboy? It was his exact reach at his height, he told us. So no Christmas lights growing up, but I do every year because I love them.
This week has felt long with my colonoscopy on Monday; the pathology report showed everything was normal! Thank God! On Tuesday, we had deliveries to make and an echocardiogram for Marty. Thursday after production, we made more deliveries and got our little tree.
It took me on Thursday night 5 or 6 hours to clean and move shit around to make room for the tree and my other decorations. Next came dragging all the totes upstairs from the basement. Putting up the Christmas tree is like, “the ankle bone is connected to the knee bone” kind of thing for me.
Once I finally get to start decorating, I am in my glory! I put on Christmas music for the first time of the year and drink wine. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I hate taking it down, but through past experience, I always do it neat and organized.
One year I must have been having a bad day because when I opened everything up the following year, I literally threw everything in the totes; ornaments broke, and lights were tangled beyond belief. True to my form, I threw them away and bought new ones. Lesson learned.
We were back in spätzle production on Friday; we had our farmers market today; I am completely exhausted. Tomorrow we will be in NY again, searching for a pair of swivel armchairs for our living room. It’s a long story, so I’ll tell you about it soon; until then, have a great rest of your weekend.
Happy Thanksgiving!!! It’s weird to be sipping coffee and chatting on the phone with my sister this morning instead of running around getting the turkey in the oven and making turkey stock.
Yesterday, I broke down the turkey or cutting it into parts. I watched a Youtube video last week which demos a new and easier way to cook a turkey and I am trying it this Thanksgiving.
Following the demo video, I made a big pot of turkey stock with the carcass and turned it on last night. it has been on a slow simmer for about 14 hours. It smells so thanksgiving-ish in here already.
Yesterday, I prepped all the sides and just have to finish everything off. The turkey will only take 30 minutes to cook in the oven after browning the skin first. That’s fast!
We are having an early dinner so Sam can eat with Marty, Noah and me before he goes to work at the ER. I am thankful we can be together this year.
I wish you all a great day and hope everyone will have a table to gather around with others, enjoying whatever feast you fancy.
I am thankful for each of you and the meaningful life I live and the family and friends I share it with.
Have a great day and for the love of monkeys, try not to get stressed out! I did that for decades and learned it wasn’t worth it. 🦃🍁
