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We have been addicted to the broadway sensation Hamilton for a couple of years and have watched it dozens of times since it came out on Disney Plus on July 3, 2020. Currently, we are watching a Netflix series called Bridgeton.

Hamilton takes place during the Revolutionary War era through the early 1800s. Bridgerton takes place in the early 1800s, almost picking up where Hamilton left off, but in England.

We were listening to the original Broadway soundtrack of Hamilton for a long time, not knowing how they actually did the scenes in the play. It was hard to imagine how they did battles and flashbacks, but after seeing it, everything made sense and fell into place.

The courtship of Alexander Hamilton and Eliza Schuyler was very fast. It seemed like they were only courting for 2 weeks and they were married. This confused me for sure since I knew nothing about courting in the 1700s.

When we watched Bridgeton, the courtship between two people was rather short as well. The point was to get married. The couple wasn’t allowed any hankie pankie at all or it would disgrace the woman and her family.

Courtship or calling was a family affair, callers meant heirs, property, and happiness, and ultimately marriage. Prospective men, callers were determined by land, status, and wealth. Marriages had to be approved by the family. Not very romantic that’s for sure. It was more of a business transaction for two families instead of two people becoming man and wife.

Dating came about in the 1900s. Women were free to choose with whom they wanted to spend time with. The word dating refers to filling one’s datebook. Makes sense right? The mid-century term, “going steady”meant the couple who had been dating are now dating exclusively.

Speaking of mid-century a couple of my favorite tv shows when I was a kid were Happy Days and Laverne & Shirley which took place in the 1950s, along with the movie Grease.

I never really knew when I was 10 or eleven why all the guys wanted to do was neck and go to inspiration point. Laverne & Shirley were two friends that were also roommates living on their own without men. Shirley had a boyfriend The Big Ragu, but I don’t think they ever married.

In Grease I knew there was more of that necking stuff, and could recite “A hickey from Kenickie is like a Hallmark card when you care enough to send the very best.” I didn’t know what a hickey really was, but if it was coming from Kenickie it must have been good because I thought he was cute.

When I was in grammar school I remember we would write notes to boys and asking them if they liked so and so. Please check the following box the note would say. Check yes or no. Crystal clear directions just in case they couldn’t figure it out.

In high school, dating was called going out with someone. My father couldn’t grasp the concept that I was going out with someone, but we didn’t go anywhere. I explained it to him a hundred times. “Daddy, I was just seeing so and so, but now we are going out.” This was dating and going steady in his era the 50s.

Men and women started off calling each other beautiful, handsome, cute, pretty, gorgeous, a hottie, a fox. In our high school JFK we called people we found attractive a “burger!” I think that our town of Iselin and maybe Colonia was the only place on earth to call someone a burger. “Oh check him out, he’s a total burger.” You just can’t make this shit up! I have no idea who started it, but it stayed around for a couple of years.

I met Marty and we dated, went out, were seeing each other, going steady for 4 years before we got married. He indeed asked my father for permission. Marty was probably one of the only guys my father ever liked. I knew he liked him when he started calling him Mart.

I wasn’t allowed to go out if someone just honked the horn. They had to come in and meet my dad. It was torturous for me, especially when I wasn’t allowed to go because my father didn’t approve.

He had many reasons why he didn’t approve of someone. His shoelace was untied, he was chewing gum, he had some stupid thing on his head. “Daddy, it’s a bandana!” “I don’t give a shit what it is, you aren’t going with him.” Didn’t he know the lead singer from the band Loverboy wore one just like it? Dating was tough business in our house.

Since then dating has changed a lot. You don’t even have to go on actual dates anymore.

You know someone is dating these days because they change their Facebook status to “in a relationship.” When people break up, everyone once again knows, because their status goes back to “single.” I think they took away the optional status “it’s complicated.”

“Friends with benefits” was a friend that you could have an occasional and casual sexual relationship with. This is different from “hooking up” which is a one-time-only thing with someone new.

“Netflix & chill” is a slang term for two people going to each other’s houses and having straight-up sex or just some sexual related acts. It took parents a long time to figure out what the code word was for.

These days guys and girls are talking. I have a younger friend at my farmer’s markets and thought it was amusing when my buddy said to me right out of the blue, “Yea, I’m talking to this girl.” I was like that’s cool. ” I want a girl to date, a girl that wants a man around, a girl to fall in love with like you and your husband.” “I really want to date and go places. I don’t want to hook up even though that’s what most of them want.”

I am smiling while I am typing this because my buddy is the nicest guy, handsome, great personality, caring, spiritual and funny. I told him that she was out there, he will find that special someone when the time was right. He is only 27, he still had plenty of time. And this girl? She will be one lucky girl…but for now, they are just talking. I haven’t seen him for a few weeks I wonder if they are still talking?

My father never would have been able to figure that one out, he would say “how the hell much stuff can you talk about?” 😂

I’ve been writing this piece in my head for years.  When I took over as the school lunch director at the Arlington, VT school district I took my job very seriously. 

I started my position a few weeks before the opening day of school, cleaning, organizing, and planning my menus. I never did this type of job before so I had a lot to learn. I was lucky that I had Marty who was a school lunch director for 20+ years at that point to help guide me with all the regulations and guidelines I had to follow.

As I was cleaning I found a black and white composition notebook that had fallen back behind one of the drawers of a filing cabinet. It said Hot Lunch 1946-1947. This was an amazing discovery! A piece of Arlington history.   It gave me a chance to see what Mrs. Keough & Mrs. Ouhl served every day which was perfect timing since I was in the middle of menu planning.

As I started looking through the notebook I couldn’t believe how much information they kept track of! From the menus, quantities of ingredients used. How many students ate that day, how many milks they sold. Exactly who worked and how much their payroll cost each day. 

They did weekly and monthly summaries. Wow! This was all the stuff I was learning from Marty. I felt connected to these women who did my job 60 years before me, in the same building. 

Lunch was still served in the high school back then, it later moved across the street to the new elementary school. The newly built elementary school had a brand new fancy kitchen which I am sure was an improvement to the old one that served K-12 up until that point.

Dino was one of my buddies at school. He was a history teacher. He came in almost as early as I did in the mornings and bought a coffee and a muffin from me every day. Every day for 7 years! We had some great discussions and got to know each other pretty well while I was doing food prep and he ate.  He was everyone’s favorite cool teacher and soccer coach.

One day Dino told me about the lunch lady when he went to school right here in Arlington. He told me that everyone called her “No Way Mae.” He got a big smile on his face when he started telling me about her.

He told me that he and his classmates walked from the high school down to the elementary school where lunch was served. He also told me something that didn’t surprise me, he brought his lunch from home every day and had school lunch.

When Dino and his classmates went through the lunch line they would ask Mae if they could have seconds. Dino said she would  bellow out in a harsh raspy voice, “No way!!”

He said the kids in the dining area would crack up when they heard her voice bellowing through the hallways. 

Halloween is my favorite holiday. It’s the one holiday that the only thing anyone excepted from me was candy. I loved to dress up, it was the one day a year you could be whoever you wanted to be with no questions asked.

One year I decided to dress up as No Way Mae.  I got my costume from a thrift store at a senior center along with some uncomfortable shoes. I borrowed a wig from the theater department at school. I made a big padded butt and bought a color lipstick my grandmother wore. 

I didn’t tell anyone who I was going to be. I wanted it to be a surprise.  On Halloween, I dropped my kids off at school and quickly came back home to put on my costume.  I had to really bust my ass the day before to prep everything I needed for breakfast and lunch. 

The school had a Halloween parade in the gymnasium. All the students and teachers who dressed up would walk around in a circle after Mr. C the principal addressed the students and faculty. 

I snuck into the gym as Mae and stood off to the side where no one really saw me.  When he called everyone to participate in the parade I began to make my way across the gym floor.  

I walked hunched over like a tired old lunch lady.  It took me forever to join the circle. I knew everyone was watching me thinking who the heck is that? I found out later that neither of my sons had any idea it was me.  😂

I stayed in character all day. I even wiped the sloppy Joe we were having that day all over my apron on purpose. I told everyone “No way!” It was by far one of the best Halloween’s ever.

I really connected with Mae.  She and I leaned over the same counter serving lunches 30 years apart. We probably made some of the same dishes. Hell, the equipment and cookware were probably around in her day too. As a matter of fact, I am sure they were.

I have not spoken to Dino for quite a long time but texted him last night and asked him if I could ask a few questions about No Way Mae. He shot back a text and said sure ask away. Then I said can I call you way too much typing. LOL

I asked him to tell me the story again about No Way Mae. I wanted to make sure I remembered the story correctly. He added last night that her name was Mae DeBlock. She worked with another older lunch lady named Charlena Hilliard. He said he remembered those two in the kitchen for as long as he was in school. 

I could tell he was smiling as he was reminiscing about his school days with Mae. He did his best impression of Mae bellowing out “No way!l. He told me that sometimes the kids would keep their forks for a few days and not return them to the dirty dish bin.  They liked getting a rise out of her. 

I wonder what Mrs. Keogh, Mrs. Ouhl, Mrs. Hilliard, or Mae DeBlock would have thought about me as a lunch lady? I’m sure that they never would have expected a lunch lady to have both arms tattooed. I am sure they couldn’t imagine any woman having a tattoo, let alone one with her nose and upper lip pierced and…was a belly dancer.

I think that if they could’ve gotten over all of those things they would’ve seen that I was so much like them. I loved those kids and took great pride in feeding them good food that was made with love. I had the privilege to watch them grow up and turn into young ladies and men, just like the lunch ladies that came before me did.

Whenever I hear those words, “Don’t try this at home” it’s the first thing that I want to do! Now I am not a complete moron but would try some really dumb things. I have to admit I have pulled some really stupid stunts in my day.

When I was a kid around 4 or 5 I got my hand caught in a mousetrap. My father was working nights so my mother ran me down to the neighbor’s house for the man of the household to get it off me. It really hurt. I can still remember how much. The next morning my mother told me to tell my father what I had done. That was worse than the actual mousetrap.

That summer I jumped off the deck railing of a house in the Poconos attempting to do a backward summersault in the air. The next thing I knew I was on the deck trying to breathe. I knocked the air out of myself. I scared the daylights out of my parents. All the way back to NJ my father kept saying, “She’s lucky she didn’t break her neck!” or asking me “What the hell was I thinking?” I cried the whole way home but came out unscathed.

The following year, I found my father’s pipe and blew into the barrel containing the already smoked tobacco. I loved the smell of his pipe tobacco when he smoked it. I also liked the way the tobacco smelled in the plastic pouch it came it. As far as blowing in it, I don’t know why I did it, but I remember sitting on the floor of the living room pulling this trick. Pieces of tobacco got into both of my eyes.

My dad was home alone with me, my mother was out. He took a matchbook out and I panicked thinking he was going to set my eyes on fire. He took off a few of the paper matches and separated the bottoms of each match, splitting it in half. Then he licked it, told me to hold still, and got the tobacco out of both of my eyes.

When it was all over with he told me whatever I did, just don’t tell your mother! So I never did. He and I had many incidents over the years that my mother didn’t know about. My father on the other hand was always given the rundown of my behavior the second he walked into the house. “Wait until your father gets home!” was real in our house.

I went to Catholic school and you were supposed to go to mass every Sunday not only like good Catholics were supposed to, but because I went to Catholic School. You HAD to go since all the school news, schedules, or lunch menu were in the bulletin, you had to have a bulletin for the things you needed to know for the upcoming week.

My folks adopted a second child and my mother wouldn’t take the new baby to mass. I say a second child because that was all this person ever was to me. Always referred to me as the other child they adopted. I was nine years older and can’t remember having any kind of a relationship or even having one legit conversation with this person. I haven’t seen this second child since my father’s funeral in 2000 and that is okie dokie with me.

Back to the mass thing. It became my dad’s job to take me to church, bring the donation envelope and make sure we got a bulletin. My dad and I went to mass once. My dad also went to Catholic school and was an altar boy for years, until he got caught drinking the wine. Lol! Then my dad came up with the ultimate plan.

My dad and I would go for a ride, then he would park in front of the church after mass began. He sent me into the church and told me to give the usher man our donation envelope and ask him for a bulletin. It worked! It was easy. The usher man always gave me a wink and a smile. We had that coveted bulletin and I knew what days I was going to eat at school or bring cold lunch from home. I also knew when school picture day was coming up, a very big deal because you could wear your regular clothes and not our uniforms. After I ran back to the car we went to a diner for breakfast and my father warned me to not tell my mother. Why would I? This was the best!

My dad and I went about this Sunday arrangement for a long time. It got nerve-wracking some Mondays because one of the nuns would ask me a question about Sunday’s homily. Being able to think on my feet I always had reasonable enough answer.

My mother never found out and still doesn’t know about our Sunday morning shenanigans and breakfasts out. We usually ended up at a donut shop since my father loved a good jelly donut and a cup of coffee.

Now back to today. I took one for the team. Remember how I offered myself up to be a guinea pig and try out the Japanese Towel trick? It was going well. I looked forward to laying in Otto’s spot on the heated bathroom floor and covered myself with my heated towel. I set the alarm for five minutes and settled into the position. I started to meditate and it made the five minutes seem like thirty seconds.

Remember this towel thing started as a way to help people with back pain. It was supposed to realign the pelvis. The instructions for the towel exercise tell you when you are done to sit up evenly and slowly. Do not make any jerking movements. I was very careful since I’ve had lots of back issues in the past.

Last night I sat up carefully and stood up and wouldn’t you know my back was jacked! Are you kidding me? Dammit was then followed by a slew of more curse words. It wasn’t nearly as bad as times when my back “went out,”, but enough for it to hurt.

During the night I had to get up 4 or 5 times to put on more Ben Gay. I took a super hot shower this morning and it didn’t do shit. I actually thought for a second to do the towel trick again and maybe it would fix itself.

After a morning of being uncomfortable, I decided to do things my way. I went out to our inversion table in the gym and hung there in pain. Then I heard a bunch of cracking sounds coming from my back. I got myself out of the contraption and came back into the house. I mixed myself a strong ass Bloody Mary with lots of horseradish, Worcestershire sauce & celery salt.

I just took a couple of Tylenol and going to take a nap. I can already feel my back relaxing and think I may have fixed myself playing chiropractor again. I am great at fixing sciatic pain when that bothers me, so why not this too? I know my body well enough to know what works and what doesn’t. I also know when I am in trouble and need professional help.

It’s a couple hours later. I took a short nap and laid in bed doing some research for a piece I am getting ready to write. My back is a lot better. Better enough that I was going to go out and walk on the treadmill, but dinner needs to be started.

We made omelets this morning. I made mine first trying to get it as perfect as I could. Then I watched Marty make his. As I was watching him while I was eating, I started thinking about this blog post.

Now I know when some people read this, they are going to say, ”Oh my goodness, I never thought of that!” or “It makes so much sense!”  Other people are going to read this and say, “No shit Sherlock.”

I’m referring to the situation when you have a pan on the stove and things start cooking too quickly or brown too fast and burn. Garlic is a perfect example of this, it only takes a few seconds until it becomes fragrant, and is done. Taking it anything further than light, golden brown makes the garlic become bitter ruining your dish.

I like my scrambled eggs and omelets the French cooking method with absolutely no brown on them. The smell and the thought of a browned omelet or scrambled eggs make me sick. I can’t tell you how many eggs I threw out in a fit of frustration because they cooked too quickly.  

I am not a food snob, but I like what I like.  I never order scrambled eggs or omelets out unless the menu says explicitly French style eggs, which is rare, by the way. 

The French omelet vs an American omelet requires its own blog post. There is so much to talk about, but here is a quick photo for a quick visual to demonstrate what the hell I am talking about. 

“I hate my electric stove,” so many people say. You can’t control the heat and I burn everything.

If any of this sounds familiar to you then I’ve got solution that is so simple but life-changing.

When you have a pot or pan on the stove whether it’s a gas range or electric and you see whatever is in the pan is cooking too quickly, you simply move or slide the pan off the burner. It takes the pan off the heat immediately, then you don’t have to worry about residual heat from your electric range or gas burners. 

So simple it’s stupid right? The next time you’re watching your favorite cooking shows see if you can catch them doing this. I started noticing the chefs on Top chef moving their pans on and off the heat. I also watched my chef friend Martin do this as well. I tried it myself and was like, damn, how come no one tells you to do this? 

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Gordon Ramsay screams at the poor MasterChef competitors, “Take the pan off the heat for bloody hell! Oh my God!”  Then he starts rubbing his eyes right out of his head in complete frustration. The frazzled looking contestant looks at him like, “Duh, how can I be so stupid.” Heard chef!

There isn’t much out there on the internet telling home cooks about this little trick. Why not? That’s why I am telling you. 

I bring up Gordon Ramsey again because in his recipe and video for perfect scrambled eggs, Chef Ramsey uses this on and off the heat technique. We do too!  Look it up on youtube and try making his eggs. They are delicious, so are chef Wiley DuFresne’s!

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A lot of recipes instruct to remove the pan from the heat. Most cooks just turn off the burner.  They told you to remove it for a reason! So it doesn’t continue to cook from residual heat. 

I can think of dozens of examples of when you should slide your pan off the burner even if it doesn’t tell you to in a recipe. 

For example, when you are adding a liquid or tomato sauce to a saute pan with let’s say olive oil, onions, and garlic and it starts boiling and splattering immediately.  Move the pan from the heat, lower the burner and replace the pan. 

If a pan starts getting too hot when you are making chicken cutlets, you don’t want the breadcrumb that are left in the pan to burn. Take it off the heat for a few seconds, and check your temperature. If there are some very dark breadcrumbs left in the pan, wipe them out and add more oil for your next batch. If you don’t your cutlets will taste bitter. 

You lift the lid of a pot or saute pan and didn’t realize things are just starting to overcook. Get it off the heat for a few seconds.  This happens with rice very often.  Scored rice is not crispy rice, it’s burned.

Making custard is tricky, but not when you move the pot on and off the heat.   Most recipes will tell you to remove your pot from heat when you are tempering your eggs before adding them to the hot milk and sugar.  If you don’t you will end up with scrambled eggs. In the same recipe, they don’t tell you to move the pan on and off the heat while the custard is thickening, this is why so many custards end up being scorched. So annoying to go to all that trouble and have the custard scorch at the end. 

So take it off for bloody hell! Who knew that just a small kitchen secret can save thousands of ruined meals, and why the hell is no one else talking about it?

Ever wonder how restaurants get all the food from different orders out at the same time? It’s even more impressive if everything that is supposed to be piping hot actually is and cold items are nice and cold.

The same can be true at home. Pulling off that feat at a dinner party with 8 guests is remarkable. Or is it?

The host or hostess that can pull off a 4 or 5-course dinner party without a hitch has practiced a lot. They have learned to be a conductor in their kitchen and the dishes they are preparing are the orchestra.

“Conductors act as guides to the orchestras they conduct. They choose the works to be performed and study their scores, to which they make certain adjustments such as tempo, articulation, phrasing, repetitions of sections.” Wikipedia

The definition of a conductor above can be translated as a perfect example of a kitchen conductor.

Conductors act as guides to the orchestra they conduct…You are the cook and the dishes you are preparing for your dinner party is the orchestra.

They choose the works to be performed…What is the menu? Which dishes will you be serving at your dinner party?

Study their scores…the scores are the recipes you have chosen for your menu.

To which they make certain adjustments such as tempo, articulation, phrasing…making a cooking plan including how long will everything take to prepare, prepping, choosing your cooking methods, deciding what order you need to cook your menu items.

After you invite guests to dinner is when you need to decide on your menu. Things to take into consideration when planning a menu. How much time will you have on the day of the dinner? Do any guests have food allergies? Will you be cooking and eating outside or inside? What type of meal would you like to prepare. Do you want to use seasonal ingredients? What dishes can be finished and kept warm while the rest of the dishes are being prepared? Again, this goes for those weeknight dinners as well.

When choosing what type of meal you would like to make stick to something you know. If you are brand new at this food timing thing you definitely should listen to this advice. For example, you know you make a great pot roast or roasted chicken. Then serve it! If you want to experiment with a salad or side dish fine. Trying out an entire menu of items you have never prepared before is only asking for disaster. Nothing is worse than a flustered cook and a meal that is served where some of the things are soggy and cold. Not taking into account the cooking times can delay your meal, you don’t really want to begin serving your meal at 10 pm.

Let’s say you will be making your tried and true roasted whole chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy, a salad you haven’t made before, a familiar veggie, and a dessert you have made 100 times.

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You already know how long the chicken will take from the time it comes out of the refrigerator until it is done and resting under foil staying warm then carved. Your mashed potatoes you can be made ahead a day or two before and then just reheated. You can also have your potatoes cut up in a pot of cold salted water the day before and ready to be boiled and mashed the night of the dinner.

To keep things warm if you are not using your oven, cover with foil or a lid and put in a 180-200 degree oven. If you are using your oven and you have a warming drawer you can put your covered finished dishes in there. What is a warming drawer? You know that drawer on some stoves below the oven? It’s not meant to store all your pots and baking sheet pans. It is meant to keep your food warm. Now you know, you are welcome! Lol

You can decide how proficient you are at making your gravy. If making sauces and gravies on the fly isn’t your thing, you can make a chicken veloute beforehand and just reheat adding a bit of your cooking juices from the chicken that is resting.

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The new salad you want to try believe it or not can be prepped a day before. You can wash your greens, dry them well, and put them in a ziplock bag in the fridge. You can also make your salad dressing. This is good to do beforehand just in case you don’t like the recipe. You have a chance to change it if necessary. After you are happy with your dressing, put it in a mason jar next to the greens in the fridge. You can cut the rest of your salad components the day of the dinner so they don’t get mushy or turn brown. Assembly will be quick and you won’t feel rushed with one of the first dishes being served.

Any vegetable you want to serve you should think about the cooking method. How long will it take to prepare? How much can be prepped ahead? If it needs to be roasted will your oven be tied up with the main dish or can you throw it in after the main comes out and is resting? If it’s sautéed will you have enough burners if everything is being made on the stovetop?

The dessert you chose should be something easy to pull off. You don’t want your guests or family to have to wait an hour or two while you are in the kitchen making a custard or baking. Have your dessert done, ready to be assembled at serving time. This again takes the pressure off so you can clear the table of dinner dishes and get set for dessert. If you know you are serving coffee, have everything ready in your coffee maker so you just have to press start.

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The actual conducting of the orchestra happens during the performance or in your case your meal. It is keeping your eye on the clock. Setting 10 timers if you need to so you don’t forget about something. Keeping an eye on everything and remembering, like the musical conductor you are performing in front of others. A cook performing with ease makes for a great evening.

A lot of things like setting the table, picking out wine or drinks, and having them chilled should be done before you begin cooking. Again, this will take the pressure off so you can focus on your meal and not worry about those types of things upon the guests’ arrival. Appointing someone to be in charge of the drinks is a perfect way to involve your guests while you are cooking.

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I don’t care how good a cook or chef you are, to pull off a great meal or menu you have to plan ahead to get your food timing right. Biting off more than you can chew is stressful. Spending the evening worrying about how everything will come out takes the enjoyment out of the evening not only for the cook but for the guests as well.

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Cooking and getting all your food ready to be served at the same time takes practice. A lot of practice. This doesn’t mean you have to host a ton of dinner parties to practice, you can practice with your weeknight dinners. The more you do it the better you get. The better you get the more confident you will feel. The more confident you become, the better time you will have with your guests.

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Hopefully, you will be able to use some of these tips and tricks to be able to conduct your orchestra and pull off a truly remarkable performance.

We all know that one shopper that we encounter at the grocery store. If You don’t know which one I’m talking about, unfortunately, you may be that one shopper.  I doubt it though. 

Since I’ve been home playing it safe with my autoimmune issues during this pandemic, I basically go out one day a week, and I look forward to it. My big excursion is belly dancing with Kathleen, then hitting the grocery store and maybe CVS.

Grocery shopping is serious business.  I either have a list that I am following strictly, or I am trying to plan the week’s lunch and dinner meals in my head with what I find.  Then along comes that one shopper.

I decided to go to the grocery store before belly dance, it could be snowing when I got out at noon. I absolutely hate driving in the snow. I had a very specific list to follow since I was just filling in the blanks for this week’s meals. I wanted to be in and out so I wasn’t running late to dance.  Luck as I would have it encountered not one of those shoppers, but two and a half. 

Patience is not one of my strong points. I know this. Everyone knows this. However, I am much more patient in my 50’s than I was in my 20’s or 30’s. 

The shopper that I am talking about isn’t the ones who walk into the store with their grocery carts and just stop. This annoys me, but I move past them quickly. 

It is not the ones that block up the aisles with their grocery carts parked next to each other to have a lengthy discussion. 

The one I am talking about is the one you can’t lose. No matter how hard you try to shake them, they are right there, up my ass or slowing me down. They are always dilly-dallying in front of the exact item I need on my list. I try skipping an aisle, and boom, there they are again! This goes on for the whole shopping trip. I honestly don’t know how they do it. 

How can one person be so damn annoying and have no clue that they are?

Today my second annoying person made the choice to not take a grocery cart.  She had a reusable bag with her and probably was only going to pick up a few things. Fair enough I do that often. 

What I don’t do is fill the sucker to the top.  The woman’s bag was so heavy she needed to put it down every 20 feet, in the middle of the aisle!  This made running away from the first person tricky since I had to bob and weave through the store around that damn heavy bag! 

Honestly, I was about to have a total meltdown at one point!  Don’t these people know there was a pandemic going on?  Shop quickly!  Get your shit and get out! 

Ok, so I pay for my stuff and take my groceries bagless thrown in my cart out to my vehicle. I find I don’t get frustrated bagging my groceries in my own bags, at my vehicle away from everyone.  This is true in any weather, long before the pandemic. 

Whenever I park anywhere, I park out in left field, away from everyone.  I hate driving in the first place, so juggling around looking for a parking place is the last thing I want to do.  The exercise is good for me too. 

I come out of the store and there is a car parked so close to my driver’s side door that I needed a fucking can opener to get in!  Why? I will tell you why.  These are the people who have the whole beach or movie theater and sit right in front of you, blocking your view.  You know what I am talking about.  Am I right or what?

Not the shopping experience I was hoping for.  As a matter of fact, I had a different blog post in my head before I left the house, but this one started writing itself before I even got to dance practice. 

It’s January 31, and I felt it start to set in last week. Here in Vermont we got what seems like constant snow every day with very little sunshine.  For the last couple of days the temperature has been between -11 & 18 at best. 

I know I live in the Northeast and have to live with it, but I live here for the other three seasons, especially summer. Besides bitching about snow and sub-zero temperatures, let’s throw in this pandemic just to make matters worse. 

As I am writing this at least the sun is out for change.  The few times it showed itself in the last week I could tell it’s getting warmer as it hits my face and is higher in the sky. This is a beautiful reminder of what’s to come. 

Crazy blue cabin isn’t something I saw in the woods, but three words that sum up January for me.  Stir crazy. Winter blues. Cabin fever. I like how CNN describes cabin fever in an article I found.

“Cabin fever is not like a psychological disorder, so I wouldn’t say there’s any sort of official definition of it,” said Vaile Wright, a psychologist and director of clinical research and quality at the American Psychological Association.

“It may not be a real condition, but the feelings it’s associated with are.”

“It involves a range of negative emotions and distress related to restricted movement: irritability, boredom, some hopelessness and even, behaviorally, restlessness and difficulty concentrating. Those would be the constellation of symptoms one might expect if they were feeling that way.” CNN

I think the above describes winter blues and stir crazy as well.  Right?

So what am I going to do besides bitch about it?  I am writing!  Yay!  This is so therapeutic for me. My mind has been thinking of topics to write about.  Things that people may give a shit about reading.  Great advice from Jon my writing mentor & coach. ☺️

This winter, I am working out, something I haven’t done for seven years.  I am in our home gym six days a week. The hardest part of working out for me is walking from our house to our barn, where the gym is.   I have to put on boots, go out and turn on the heat. Now I have to wait for twenty minutes for it to be warm enough so I don’t injure myself.  Once I get going and warm up I love every second out there.

So how does the towel fit into this story?  Yesterday on Instagram, I saw a video clip of someone performing the Japanese towel routine.  I refuse to get sucked in by watching those TikTok videos. I have enough social media and entertainment already, I don’t need to see what more stir-crazy people are doing. Lol

I started to do some research on this Japanese towel routine now called an exercise. Over 10 years ago, a Japanese physician named Toshiki Fukutsudzi developed a unique method to help realign the pelvis and help with back issues. It just so happens to get the body in shape. The method claims to help eliminate belly fat, improve posture and strengthen back pain, only by using a towel. Ok.

When I had a shit-fit temper tantrum back in October, not being able to belly dance is when I got back into the gym. My goal was to get back into shape. Not lose weight, just get my strength back. I noticed I was starting to lose some of my defined muscles that I worked so hard on for years.  I wasn’t getting any younger and knew the longer I waited the harder it would be.

I felt better instantly.  I had more energy.  I started drinking more water because my body craved it. I realized I was walking around in a constant state of dehydration. I was tired, got a headache almost every day, and severe leg cramps during the night. I was only drinking coffee, wine, or cocktails with a few sips of water here and there.  I know it was bad!

What came next was my desire to make better food choices. I wanted to eat more protein and cut out unnecessary carbs during the day.  I was not following a keto diet or even a low carb diet since this wasn’t about losing weight.  I really started noticing a difference in my body after two months. Was this really possible? 

Seven years ago I found out I had insanely high blood pressure. It was a shock and came out of nowhere. Being adopted at that point I didn’t know any of my family histories or if high blood pressure ran in my family. It took my cardiologist months to find the right medication to work. It took a toll on my body trying prescription after prescription, nine to be exact making me sick with each of them. I have later found out that my biological father Tom died of a heart attack the day after his 50th birthday. High blood pressure and heart disease run on that side of my family tree.

At the same time, I went through and finished up menopause. Great timing. I knew I was done, blood work showed I basically had zero estrogens left.  Even though I didn’t want any more children, I grieved.  It was great in one respect, but sad in another one because I was getting older.

Then guess what happened at exactly the same time? My adopted mother had a major stroke.  I found her in her apartment after not being able to reach her for a day. This was definitely not good for my blood pressure that we hadn’t figured out yet.

Long story short, I had to find a care facility since she was paralyzed on the left side. I had to take care of all her financials and make all the decisions since I was her power of attorney. I had to get rid of all of her belongings and close up her apartment. I went to the nursing home 7 days a week out of guilt, obligation & manipulation.  It was awful and sad. It still is.

I said that I was going to be honest and authentic with you, and this is hard to admit. I hated the way I let these situations get the best of me. I played the victim using those situations to blame how unhappy I was with my new ugly body. I was ashamed of how I looked and actually felt sick every time I looked in the mirror. Photos made me sick as well.  I never felt this way before.

Here I was a belly dancer now mortified to perform and felt like a hypocrite teaching body image and empowerment to my students. I have always been a confident person, so feeling this way about my body was mentally crippling.  I guess I began to wear black all the time trying to cover myself up. I never wanted to try to exercise or diet because I was afraid what if they didn’t work? What if this was the way I was going to look for the rest of my life?

The last night I danced with my students back in early October, during a set that we were dancing instead of me teaching, I said out loud when looking in the mirror, “Wow, I don’t look that disgusting from way back here; maybe I didn’t make the audience sick.”  My student and friend Maria scolded me, “Julz stop that right now!” I am smiling as I remember how angry I made Maria who bravely wrote about body image on her blog when she started belly dancing with us almost four years ago. Her blog is Fullmoonfiberart.com, I still don’t know who to install a link into my blog.

That brings me back to yesterday and the Japanese towel exercise. Although I am seeing major improvement in my midsection, besides Marty, no one else has noticed. I know it’s winter, but no one. Nada. If only someone threw me one tiny little bone. That’s ok, that’s not why I this started this in the first place. Right Julz? I keep telling myself that I feel better & stronger, and my muscles came back faster than I imagined they would.

For an experiment, I decided to be a guinea pig and see if this towel thing works. From what I read half the people say it does, and the other half say it doesn’t. 

I did the exercise once in the morning and once at night. I was able to hold the uncomfortable position for the recommended 5 minutes. My hands were the only thing that was uncomfortable due to arthritis pain. Overall it was easy. I keep thinking this can not work, but we will see. I am going to give it two weeks maybe a month if I think it is working. I will let you know my progress.

I took a “before” photo this morning.  I am too embarrassed to post it even though my mid-section looks so much better.  I promise I will post it if an after photo shows a change. If it doesn’t work I will continue to do what has been working for my body.

So we all need to get a few minutes of sunshine when the sun is out. A bit of fresh air, drink plenty of water, and know that winter and this damn pandemic won’t last forever. We should just live life like Klausie boy….chillin’ out!

I got a message yesterday morning from one of my former cooking class students. She said she had some hot chili flakes that she wasn’t going to be using and thought of me.  She left them on our front porch. 

Whenever I begin a 6-week class, I like to tell everyone what they can expect.  Each week I try to cover a different theme, cooking style, preparation, or some hacks and kitchen tricks.

The biggest thing I wanted them to get out of the class was to learn to enjoy cooking. To not be stressed out when cooking. I showed them my tricks to make cooking more enjoyable. To not be afraid to try new things. That it was ok to tweak a recipe for your own taste or diet. 

We would prepare and make 4 or 5 dishes each week and everyone sat down to a family-style dinner at the end of class. 

We started off with week one which was braising.  When I got to week 5, ethnic foods I saw the look of fear on the face of MJ one of the students in the class. I continued to tell them about a couple of the dishes, one Indian and one Thai.

I knew MJ before our class, but I didn’t know her well at all. I asked her what was up, she said she didn’t like spicy food. I assured her it didn’t have to be spicy. 

One of the biggest things I like to drill into people’s heads is to season the food as you go and to taste it!  It’s easier to correct the seasoning while making it than to wait until it’s done cooking. 

We had a great time week after week. I really try to teach people different items to cook. Even before class begins I ask everyone what dishes they would like to try making or ones they found intimidating.

Everyone liked all the food we made, and were excited to try to make these recipes for their families. 

When we began week 5, MJ had a very skeptical look on her face even though I  haven’t steered her wrong yet. 

As we went through each recipe I showed everyone that you didn’t have to add as much spice as the recipe calls for.  In most cases, you don’t have to add any at all. 

Now if you are talking about Nashville Hot Chicken….this is not something to make if you don’t like spicy food. You can’t leave the hot out of Nashville hot or Asian Spicy crab because they are supposed to be ass burningly hot!

We were making Indian Butter Chicken & Thai Red Curry Chicken. We also made Coconut Rice as a side dish. 

A lot of people in the class hadn’t tried either of these dishes before, so it was exciting to watch their reactions while they tried them. MJ had that skeptical look on her face again. LOL

Then I asked them what they thought. It wasn’t what many of them were expected. They were better than they thought they would be and thought their families would enjoy them too. 

At the end of the meal, MJ announced that’s she has been nervous for 5 weeks thinking about eating Indian and Thai food. And….she liked them!!  This made the whole class more worthwhile than I was hoping for. 😃

At the end of the 6 weeks, I asked everyone what their favorite dishes were. MJ said her favorite was the Butter Chicken and Coconut Rice! She was as surprised as I was.  She told everyone that she went to the store and bought all the ingredients to make it that week for her wife. She was going to leave the spicy stuff out of her recipe. I was so excited for her. 

Since then I’ve run into MJ and her wife Stephanie at the farmers market right here in our town. When they would stop and get our spätzle MJ would tell me things she has tried making and planned to make. She said she liked cooking now. Hurray!

MJ will comment on some of my Facebook dishes I share and will tell me she made another one of our class dishes.  The best comment ever came from Stephanie who thanked me for turning her wife into a really good cook, who now likes to cook. Success! Mission accomplished! 

Yesterday after I wrote about my food memories I thought about me and that Spicy AF Shrimp Curry…and MJ who still doesn’t like spicy food.  You can have really flavorful ethnic food and it doesn’t have to be spicy! 🌶 

Here are my recipes from class for the dishes mentioned in this blog post. I hope you try making and enjoy them. 

Indian Butter Chicken

6 Tbsp butter

2 lbs boneless/skinless chicken thighs or chicken breasts cut into pieces

1 onion diced

3 cloves garlic minced

1 Tbsp garam masala

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp cumin

½ tsp cayenne pepper (more or less depending on your spice level)

1 14 oz can tomato sauce

1 14 oz can coconut milk stirred

¼ cup heavy cream

Salt & pepper

Lime & cilantro for garnish

Steamed basmati or jasmine rice

Season chicken with salt and pepper. Using 2 Tbsp butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat, brown the pieces of chicken so each side is browned. They do not have to be fully cooked they will finish cooking in the sauce. Work in batches so you don’t overcrowd the pan. Remove from pan and set aside.

Melt another 2 Tbsp butter in the pan over medium heat. Add the onion, and cook until it begins to soften about 3 minutes. Add the garlic, garam masala, ginger, chili powder, cumin, and cayenne. Stir to combine and cook for about 45 seconds stirring constantly not letting it burn before adding the tomato sauce. Add the tomato sauce and stir to combine.

Bring the mixture to a simmer and let cook for 5 minutes. Combine the coconut milk & heavy cream in a measuring cup and add to the tomato sauce all at once. Stir to combine. Bring the sauce back up to a simmer and add the browned chicken. Simmer covered on low heat for 15-20 minutes stirring occasionally. Do not let the sauce boil use low heat.

Stir in remaining 2 Tbsp butter and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Serve with rice and garnished with chopped cilantro and a lime wedge.

Coconut Rice 

1 Tbsp butter

1 onion finely chopped

1 tsp finely chopped fresh ginger

½ tsp curry powder

1 cup jasmine rice

1 14 oz can coconut milk

¼ cup water 

Kosher salt and pepper to taste

½ cup sweetened shredded coconut

In a large saucepan over medium heat melt the butter. Add the onion, ginger, and curry powder. Sauté for 5 minutes or until the onion is soft and translucent. Stir in the rice and cook for 2 minutes. 

Shake the can of coconut milk. Add the coconut milk and water to the rice and stir to combine. Increase heat to high and bring to a boil. Cover and simmer on low for 20 minutes. 

To toast the coconut…While the rice is cooking put the shredded coconut in a dry skillet. Cook on low heat stirring frequently until the coconut is golden brown. You really need to watch the coconut since it can burn very quickly. As soon as it’s toasted, remove it from the pan and set it aside. 

When the rice is done fluff with a fork and season with salt and pepper. Serve in a bowl topped with the toasted coconut. 

Thai Red Curry Chicken

1 Tbsp vegetables canola oil

1 Tbsp Thai red curry paste ( more or less depending on your spice level)

1 13.5 Oz can coconut milk stirred

2 cloves garlic minced

1 tsp fresh ginger finely minced

1 onion cut into crescents 

1 red & 1 green or yellow sweet bell pepper cut into strips

2 carrots sliced thin on a diagonal 

**1 ½ cup of your choice broccoli florets, cauliflower, snap peas, sliced zucchini 

1 lb boneless & skinless chicken breasts sliced into bite size pieces

1 cup chicken broth 

1 Tbsp fish sauce

1-2 Tbsp brown sugar

1 Tbsp soy or tamari sauce

1 Tbsp freshly squeezed lime juice

¼ cup fresh chopped cilantro

In a large skillet over medium heat add the oil and red curry paste stirring for 1 minute. Add ¼ cup coconut milk and mix to combine with the red curry paste.

 Add the onion, bell peppers & carrot to the pan. Stir fry the vegetables in the red curry paste mixture for 2-3 minutes. Add the ginger and garlic. Cook for another minute stirring constantly not letting it burn.  Add the rest of the vegetables, the rest of the coconut milk & the chicken broth. Stir to combine and bring to a simmer.

Add the sliced chicken and stir.  Simmer on low covered for 15-20 minutes stirring occasionally until the chicken is cooked and the vegetables are tender. Uncover and add the fish sauce, brown sugar, soy sauce & lime juice. Stir to combine and simmer uncovered for 5 minutes. Stir in the cilantro. 

Serve with jasmine rice and garnish with additional cilantro and a thinly sliced lime wedge if desired. 

** You can add whatever extra vegetables you like or have on hand

You can replace the chicken with any protein including drained tofu.

Today when we were in our production kitchen making spatzle we were listening to a music playlist. This 30-hour playlist has a mix of old and new music. A song came on from the 1950s, and I was transported to the back seat of my dad’s smoke-filled car when I was a kid.

We all know that music can bring back memories. As a matter of fact, music is used for that very reason in Alzheimer’s patients. 

“Research suggests that listening to or singing songs can provide emotional and behavioral benefits for people with Alzheimer’s disease and other types of dementia. Musical memories are often preserved in Alzheimer’s disease because key brain areas linked to musical memory are relatively undamaged by the disease.”
From Jonathan Graff-Radford M.D.

For me, music has always been a huge part of my everyday life.  A song can not only bring me back time, but to an exact place and time.

For instance, when I hear the song “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John I know exactly where I was the first time I ever heard it.  I was 7 years old sitting on the front stoop of my Aunt Claire’s house in Elizabeth, NJ. 

I also remember a song called “High Energy” by Evelyn Thomas in 1984. It was the summer I graduated from high school, I was laying on the beach in Seaside, NJ.

I heard this loud song pumping from a gigantic boom box with a bunch of “guidos” walking down the beach.  The one guy had it up on his shoulder, followed by a whole pack of Italian guys. 

I sat up and actually said, “what the fuck is that?” Even though we went out dancing in clubs a lot, this song was different and I liked it. I still like it!

Anytime I hear Bon Jovi I think of two things, selling him and his band who weren’t famous yet high-top sneakers at the sporting goods store I worked in.  The second thing I was sitting at the bar at the Sawmill on Seaside boardwalk with Marty and were told that they have been shooting a video for his song new song “In and out of love” right below us. They were shooting the album cover photos the day were there. The bartender tipped us off and we snuck down for a peek. 

Hearing isn’t the only sense that brings back memories, but smell does too. Way out there memories. Here is a strange one, I was walking by a cologne counter one day and I could smell the fragrance “Brut.”  The next thing I knew I remembered my toy, Light Bright. Weird right? I loved my Light Bright that I got as a present from Santa when I was 7 or 8 years old.  My little colored pegs were stored in a small shiny black box, the box from my dad’s Brut cologne. The cologne was more than likely a Christmas gift he received that year too.

Another one of my smell memories is probably the same for almost everyone I know from Jersey. Whenever I smell Italian sausage and peppers I think of the Jersey shore again. Hey, I spent a lot of time “down the shore.”  The Midway Steak House is in Seaside Heights right smack dab in the middle of the boardwalk. Another smell memory from Seaside is Coppertone Suntan lotion. 

Taste is of course is another one of our senses to evoke memories.  I love the taste of curry now, but not when I was a kid. My family was out to eat on a Sunday afternoon since that’s what my parents like to do. We would go for a ride and stop somewhere to have dinner.

We were at a restaurant called Ye Cottage Inn, again down the Jersey Shore. I was under 9 years old listening to the older than dirt waitress rattle off the specials. When it was my turn to order I ordered the Shrimp Curry. My father said “You are not getting that! You won’t like it.” I told him I wanted to try it. He warned me that if I ordered it, I HAD to eat the whole thing. I told the waitress, “I will have the shrimp curry please.”

When my meal came the plate was huge!  There were maybe 8 large shrimp and a mountain of rice. I smelled it as my father said, “I told you.” 

To prove him wrong I was going to eat every last morsel on that damn plate. I took a bite of the shrimp and it was spicy. My young palate wasn’t used to spicy food at all.  Oh no!

I was crying to myself, inside not in front of my parents. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. Slowly I made my way through that torturous plate of shrimp. I had to psych myself up every time I took a bite. Thank sweet Mother of God for that mountain of white rice. 

When I finished the last piece of shrimp I had finished all the rice as well. Now I didn’t have a big vocabulary of swear words in my arsenal yet, but if I did I would have said fuck you to my father. 

This was not only a painful meal for me to swallow, but it was the first time I felt like my dad turned on me. It was that smirk on my mother’s face the whole time that made me realize it. 

Now onto good tasting memories! I have a good palate and can reproduce almost any food just by tasting and smelling it. It comes in handy when we have a sauce or something unfamiliar that we like or something we can never get again, like on a vacation. I can usually duplicate whatever it is on the first try.  

There are two food memories that I have and have been trying for 25 years to duplicate. I am no closer today than I was when I started trying. The first one is called St. Cecelia’s pizza. Our town had a fair in July every year.  It was a big deal!  It was called The Iselin Fair. Everyone looked forward to it all year. Everyone’s bruises from the ride “The Bullet” finally faded away. People flocked to the long line for St. Cecelia’s pizza. I went to St. Cecelia’s school and this was one of their fundraising food stands at the fair.  There were also ribs, clams, and subs. I’m sure they were all good but I needed to save room for that pizza.

The “pizza” was fried dough topped with homemade marinara sauce and grated parmesan cheese.  Simple to replicate right? Impossible!!!! Only God and St. Cecelia herself knows what was in that dough and sauce. 

The second taste memory is from an Italian restaurant & bar called Spiritos. Spiritos was in Elizabeth, NJ where I grew up. It was in the Italian section of Elizabeth called Peterstown. For the record it still makes me laugh that everyone from there said  It-ly, not Italy. 

Spirtios had the best cheese ravioli ever.  I don’t mean good; I mean amazing. Ask anyone who has been there. They also had delicious veal parmesan and pizza. I wasn’t interested in any of those. It was always the ravioli for me.

The ravioli were large, you got five or six ravioli with just the right amount of sauce. The cheese filling was the most creamy, smooth, sexy filling that is indescribable. 

I have tried so many filling combinations trying to duplicate them.  Before I needed to go gluten-free I tried making them often. I would get so pissed off every time I failed, which was every time.  One time I was so frustrated that I threw them one by one out into the yard, this was before we had dogs. Swear words are still floating around the universe from that day.

Sadly Spiritos recently closed for good as well as the Ye Cottage Inn. The Iselin Fair is gone, in fact the last time I was back I was surprised to see a bunch of tall ugly homes crammed onto that small piece of land where the fair was held. 

Marty and I did go back to Seaside a couple of years ago and walked the boardwalk.  So much has changed after Hurricane Sandy.  It was great to see how things were rebuilt, and how some things looked the same. 

We went to the Sawmill for lunch.  It totally sucked not being able to eat their pizza since we are gluten-free.  We drooled as the huge pizza pies went by.  I can’t remember what I ate so it was must have been unremarkable. 

As we got closer to the Midway I began to imagine the deliciousness drifting through the ocean breeze.  They were closed which was a God sent. Smelling Sausage & Peppers, Cheesesteak Sandwiches, Italian Hotdogs would have been torture. I was actually relieved it was closed since it was November. Cheating on our gluten-free diet isn’t an option for us. Just cross-contamination on a spatula will make me sick for 4-5 days. Getting slipped a gluten mickey is a week of sickness, severe pain and cramping, and untold amounts of trips to the bathroom.

The power of a song, a certain food, and a smell is like going for a ride in a time machine. I totally didn’t realize this morning when I heard that old 50’s song it would give me so much to think about today.  

Finally, I wanted to report that I made shrimp curry for the first time a couple of months ago.  It was really delicious! I followed a recipe to get it right since I only remember it being terrible. I guess my under 10 palate wasn’t ready for it back then. I may even make it tomorrow night for dinner.