More messages…

This piece basically wrote itself while I was making spatzle batter all morning in the production kitchen. I haven’t told you something about me yet; I am blessed with spiritual and psychic gifts. It’s not something that comes up early on in a relationship, but today is the day for me to tell you a little bit about my gifts.

Twenty-one years ago, on the Wednesday before Easter Sunday, I had a very real, vivid dream, which turned out to be a visit from my grandmother, Nana. This visit is what opened up the veil to the other side for me.

My father, Russ, was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s disease or ALS in January that year, and they gave him 3-5 years to live. The decline of my father happened at a startling rate. When he called me on my birthday in February, I knew that it would be the last happy birthday I would ever hear from him again. When I hung up the phone, I laid on my stomach on our bed crying, and at that moment, I felt Sam kick for the first time; I was due at the end of August.

The last time I saw Nana in person was at my wedding. After she passed away, I regretted not spending more time with her that day. She visited me in a dream just before I woke up in the morning. She looked younger, had great color in her cheeks and lips from the pink Revlon lipstick and blush she used to wear.

Everything was done telepathically, I realized later on. I was so surprised to see her; the first thing I did was apologize for not spending more time with her at my wedding. She waved her hand like stop it. Then I told her I was so worried about my pregnancy since I had a miscarriage the year before and my father’s condition.

She told me not to worry about Sam; everything would be fine. The next thing she told me was like a riddle, “I’ll be back for your father when the sun returns to the father.” That is what I remembered her saying. I couldn’t figure it out, but it was such a crystal clear message. Then she leaned close to my face, and I could actually smell her Jean Nate perfume, and I woke up.

I was like, “OMG, what just happened?” I told Marty immediately what happened, and I shared the visit with a couple of friends. We were leaving for NJ the next morning to spend Easter with my parents.

When we arrived in NJ, my dad was relieved that we were there. I got to spend the afternoon with him sitting on their deck. From that point on, things started to tank fast. By Good Friday, he was having problems breathing if he tried to lay down or back.

Holy Saturday was stressful and scary for us. Finally, we called the rescue squad that evening, and they wheeled my father out in a stair chair because he couldn’t lay down. I didn’t know he would never be coming home again.

By the next day, Easter Sunday, we knew he wasn’t going to make it. It was a shock and surreal. After I went to the hospital to say good-bye to my father, I went home with Noah, who was only 4 years old. He was very close to my dad, and he didn’t know what was happening.

Easter night, I bathed Noah and put him to bed. I sat on the couch and jumped up and said, “OMG, it’s Easter! The day the Son returns to the Father!” The day Christ has risen. I immediately knew what Nana’s words meant. We didn’t have cell phones at the time, so I was on my own with this information. I cried and cried. I thanked Nana for the heads up and felt a little better that she would be there waiting for my father.

At 10:01 pm, I said an Our Father and knew my father took his last breath. When Marty and my mother got home about an hour later, I asked them his death time, and they said 10:01 pm. In the morning, I had to tell Noah what happened to Pop-pop; it was beyond heartbreaking, the hardest thing I ever had to tell someone.

My spiritual gifts exploded over the next few days. I could feel my father near. He would tell me things about the people at his wake that I never met before. I knew answers to questions that weren’t even asked yet. My father was telling me jokes, and I would share them with Marty and my mother to make all of us laugh, even though it didn’t seem appropriate.

On the morning of my dad’s funeral, I was standing in the back of the church behind his casket with my family. My knees were knocking and I felt sick to my stomach. I realized I felt the same way when he and I were standing in the back of the church at my wedding before I walked down the aisle. Next, I heard him whisper to me, “It’s showtime.” Those were the same words he said at my wedding. Holy shit!

When I realized all of the new psychic/spiritual gifts I had, I also knew needed to get a handle on them. I started getting messages all the time and not just from my father. I needed a radio control tower for all of them flying in. I started reading up on psychic abilities.

When Sam was two, I joined a meditation group. I also became a reiki master and practiced shamanism. I found out the messages I got were coming from people who recently crossed over or were stuck in the middle world; they didn’t know they were dead. My psychic abilities didn’t include information like lucky lottery numbers, darn it.

I used all of my abilities for good, helping many people move on from the middle world. I did reiki, chakra clearing, and aura balancing. I never charged anyone money for using my gifts, it didn’t feel right, but I did accept an occasional bottle of wine as a barter. It all came naturally to me. I was good at it; I didn’t realize how “powerful” I was until a psychic person came up to me and told me. Geez!

When we started our business four years ago, I had to close the veil to the other side. I was constantly being interrupted by people trying to get their messages through to someone who could hear them. I needed to focus on my business and family. I needed a break.

I still did reiki and other energy work, but nothing with the other side. Earlier this week, I got a message from Mema that I wrote about on Sunday. I’ve been hearing songs on Pandora for the last three days from my friend Eileen who passed away one year ago today. This morning, I dreamt about my father and a recently deceased cousin who passed in December. It was a dream, not a visit, but it made me remember Nana’s visit on the Wednesday before Easter, just like today.

I know that these gifts bless me; however, I am still not ready to get back into moving people from one world to another. I welcome the messages that I am receiving and know that my loved ones are not here in body form, but their energy never leaves us.