A Beautiful flight…

*** I did an entire blog series on my psychic and spiritual gifts last year. You can search under the “My gift” category to read those blog posts if you are interested. You don’t have to read them to understand the meaning of this post.

When I was sick for two months with pneumonia in February and March, I did reiki on myself many times a day. While I am a reiki master, the powerful healing energy works on others and not so much on myself. Nevertheless, I still perform reiki daily.

I tried to “journey” to the upper and lower worlds during that period without much luck. I was not allowed to enter those worlds and indeed not the middle world since my body was ill and my energy was next to nothing.

A couple of weeks ago, while meditating, which I do at least once daily, I was allowed to visit the lower world. I can go in three different directions when I get there.

The left is my usual fun spot with my power animals. Straight ahead is where I meet new power animals or messengers. The right leads to a series of caves, and I know who lives in one.

My power animal, Hawk, lives there. Before my journey, I could recall seeing many hawks that week in ordinary reality time. I saw a couple of them flying and images. I didn’t make the connection; I was about to be summoned to Hawk. Oh, boy.

I haven’t made a visit to see Hawk for years. It always started off unpleasant, but I was left with messages and could see a hawk’s eye view of things happening around me. Hawk basically told me to chill the fuck out and look at the whole picture.

He has been right whenever I trek down the dark cave’s passageways lit by torches. I know what to expect when I get to Hawk’s dwelling.

There is a large flat rock for me to sit on while I get my scolding. He always greets me sternly, “Sit down, Sqaw!” It’s like being sent to the principal’s office.

As I was nearing the cave this time, I saw Hawk flying beautifully high above me. He began to descend and landed in front of me. He said, “Hello, Sqaw.” I replied, “Hello, why are you nice to me?” He laughed softly.

I realized this was a different type of lesson he had for me. In a gentle voice, which I didn’t know he had, he told me to sit in the grass to get closer to his level. He said, “Sqaw, you’ve been through a lot and have prevailed every time.”

He continued by telling me that what I am going through now isn’t what it seems and that I should not go forward with fear and doubt. I replied, “Easier said than done.” Instead of getting mad at me, something happened that never occurred before.

I don’t know if I got smaller or Hawk got bigger, but he told me to hop on and enjoy the ride. As soon as we took off, I screamed, “This is amazing!” “Holy shit!” “How beautiful.” Well, you get the idea.

I was looking down at the world around me in ordinary reality time. It wasn’t ‘places or things, but things I just knew. The world below me was a happy, content, and fun place. The sun shone brightly and felt warm on my back as we hovered.

When we landed, Hawk asked me if I liked what I saw. “Oh yes, I remember saying to him.” “This beautiful world we flew over is your life. You have to change your thinking for it to become a reality,” Hawk explained.

He told me I need to pay attention to what makes me happy and content and stop trying to be something I am not. My beautiful life is all around me. I have to figure out the kind of things that make me happy.

With that, I returned to our bedroom, laying on our bed with tears running down my face. As I write, I cry because I become so emotional when thinking about that visit with Hawk. I said aloud, “Thank you, Hawk; I love you!” Tissue time for me.

Over the next few days, I started putting together pieces of things that happened recently. Some things were my visit with the pulmonologist, living a healthier lifestyle by removing chemicals and adopting Nelly.

The biggest realization was Paris Syndrome, and I wasn’t the world traveler I wanted to be; it was freeing! I released myself from wanting to go places like other people, which made me feel uncomfortable. Being able to admit it finally helped me move forward. This was a big fucking deal, folks.

Since that realization, I have felt differently. I don’t need to visit faraway places but enjoy doing things that make me happy here. I began to list things I liked or liked doing in the past.

The first thing that popped up was growing a culinary garden with herbs, different varieties of lettuce, and flowers. I remembered why I stopped gardening; I hated being on my hands and knees with bugs flying around my head and getting bit by God knows what ending up itchy.

I told Marty about the journey and how I wanted to find a new way to grow my culinary garden again. As always, Marty to the rescue! He saw many beautiful raised growing beds that could be put on our back terrace that gets all day sun.

I could envision my culinary garden and flowers in my head. Marty and I picked out two raised garden beds which arrived in a few days.

Then came the surprise septic situation, leaving us with a brand-spanking new, beautiful back terrace. Perfect for the two raised beds we got a week before.

I can see wave petunias growing down the new retaining wall and how nice the new pavers will feel warm under my bare feet. The garden will be easy to water since the hose is right there. Bugs should be minimal, if any. Weeding will be a snap.

Another item that makes me happy is cooking. Especially in the warmer months, we both want to incorporate more vegetarian meals and different salads in our diets since we will be growing our own lettuce! A few days ago, I made a vegetarian dish that turned out delicious.

I feel content and happy. I’ve been in an excellent mood for over a week. I wasn’t upset about the septic situation as I usually would have been before I visited Hawk. I could belly dance again and had little to no shortness of breath.

Nelly has been the bright spot in our lives, including Klaus. She is a breath of fresh air, constantly making us smile and laugh. She is the little sweetheart Marty, and I needed. She has made us closer as a family and is such a snuggle bug when she sleeps with us at night.

I am not focusing on what will happen in the future like I was obsessing over, but enjoying all the beautiful things my life offers. I have tried to live in the moment for years, but now I can finally do it without trying.

Thank you, Hawk! More tissues.