Forgiveness…

For those of you who have been reading my blog for quite a while you know about my adopted mother and my relationship.

I wrote about her a lot. I was trying to heal all the hurt, pain, disappointment, anger, and sadness she left me with after she died.

I appreciate each of you for your love and support while I was going through such a terrible time.

After I took down that mirror in our living room which was facing our dining room mirror creating a vortex inside our home.

The vortex was blocking anything good or positive from coming through the door. It also didn’t let stuff out either.

If you don’t know me that well please understand I’m different and I am not alone. I am blessed with “The Irish Gift.”

After removing the vortex I felt it immediately; blockages being removed right away, I shit you not.

On my birthday, I received an absolute sign from my mother. Instead of getting angry, I felt my heart melt. I felt like the Winter Wizard on Santa Claus is coming to town.

I started remembering the good memories I had with my mother. I laughed when I thought of ridiculously fun things we did.

At that moment, I was able to finally forgive my mother for everything. I can’t even begin to tell you how freeing it was.

I sat in meditation and spoke to her. I told her I forgave her and I loved her.

I went on to tell her, “Since you passed away had a life review you know how you treated me.” I thanked her for the sign on my birthday.

I waited almost a month before writing about this; making sure it was real. It’s real.

My heart isn’t angry anymore. I have been in a happy, positive, and great mood.

If you asked me if I would ever be able to forgive my mother I would say, “ I don’t think I ever can.”

Here I am a changed and happier person. My heart and soul feels like a million ton weight was lifted.

I remembered this from the Bible when I was a child.

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Matthew 18:21-22

I can’t believe I was actually able to do the impossible. Now I know what it means when they say not forgiving someone hurts only you.

I was hurting myself. That blockage that was there for years kept me in a constant state of worry, pain, disappointment, sadness, and extreme anger.

How do I feel? I feel like my body, heart, and soul is lighter and brighter. I have a smile from ear to ear.

I feel fantastic not carrying around all that shit any more.

To tell you the truth, I’ve been carrying some of that stuff since I was a little girl and now I can’t fathom how I felt like that for so long.

Even though I am no longer a practicing Catholic, I am very spiritual, thinking about Easter week.

My father died on Easter Sunday and my Nana died on Holy Thursday. It feels right to focus and pray this week without all that yucky shit in my heart.

Have a great week! Thanks again for your support and being on this journey with me. ❤️