Different energy…

This morning, Sam left to go home to Essex, VT; he is starting a new job tomorrow at UVM Medical Center in their Emergency Department. A fantastic opportunity for him to see and learn so much.

As soon as he left, I cried for a few minutes and decided to take down the Christmas tree. This is not new; I try to get the house back to normal as soon as possible. Last year, I waited until New Year’s Day since my sister Jennifer and her kids Sofia and Julian visited over the holiday break.

It’s incredible how long it takes to decorate and how quickly everything gets packed away. Marty was also working on projects to keep ourselves busy and not sit around moping. Before we knew it, the house was sparkling clean, clean enough for a real estate visit, I always say.

While I was cleaning, I was sad because I realized when I decorated at the beginning of December, we had five family members living here; we only have three while I am taking everything down. I still can’t believe Otto isn’t with us anymore. Sam leaving at the same time has been a hard pill to swallow.

I made a place for Otto’s ashes, his paw print, and photos on the shelf in our living room. We still haven’t been able to look in the bag everything came in. I put the bag on the shelf in the meantime. It is comforting knowing he is home with us. I touch the bag and speak softly to him in the morning and at night. I lose it every time because I miss him so much.

Marty and I have many winter projects planned now that Sam doesn’t live here anymore. His room will be a guest and music room. His closet will become my costuming closet. Marty will install electricity in both of my closets and put in lights so I can finally see things and find them easily.

Marty said he didn’t think our house had even been so clean, organized, light, and airy. He is 100% right since that’s been our goal since covid started decluttering and minimalizing our home.

The house feels different without Sam and Otto’s energy here. The house is tranquil since Klaus doesn’t make any noise unless someone comes to the door. Otto was a big-time whiner and was needy. Klaus had started following me around the house like Otto did, which is funny because he never gave two shits about me before unless I was feeding him. LOL. Maybe he senses I am lonely and sad.

Hopefully, I will adjust to this new chapter of our lives soon, but I am still struggling. I do have to say, on the bright side, the house looks great. The new occasional chairs we purchased when we gave away the old sectional are comfortable and sleek. I put up lighter, gauzy curtains, and we bought a new shag rug to lighten the space further.

Today it’s all about eating the leftovers from Christmas Eve and Day; then, we can start fresh. I have to learn to cook for only two of us since I am not feeding two men anymore, plus I always made sure there were enough leftovers for Sam’s work dinners.

Have a great night; it’s back to work for us tomorrow, which is a good thing; keeping myself busy keeps my head out of my ass!