Mid-July burnout…

Photo credit Wayside Country Store. Fireworks from the Firemen’s Carnival practically over our house last night.

It happens every summer; by July, Marty and I feel burnt out. We both feel like we are running on a hamster wheel and not getting anywhere. It also feels like the movie “Groundhogs Day” with Bill Murray. Every day is the same, done in the same order with the same results pretty much.

As I type this, sipping my coffee on this rainy Sunday morning, I’m thinking about how far we are behind already for next week. I’m also thinking about when the hell the rain is going to stop. The rain held off for our farmers market yesterday and for the Arlington Firemen’s Carnival on Friday and Saturday. I am glad for both because it’s the same amount of work if the weather is gorgeous and you know you will have lots of customers as it is fretting about bad weather and IF you will have any customers. You have to be ready in both cases and keep your fingers crossed.

Last week was a whirlwind of ups and downs. The ups were fantastic, and the downs were…well, not great. I know I am burned out when there are so many things I want to do and have to do that I end up biting off more than I can chew and get frazzled and stressed. Not being able to do the things I want to do puts me in a shitty ass mood.

We had a great time when my sister Jennifer came for a visit, but we had to work both days. It’s not that we don’t like to work, we love our business and making spätzle, but there aren’t enough hours in the day to work and have a life. I also know most business owners don’t have a life, but we love summer so much, and it’s so short here in Vermont that we both see it slipping away…quickly.

I don’t have enough time to write, which bums me out because I have so many things going through my head that I want to tell you about but can’t. I’m hardly on social media because I have to use that time to get things done; when I do go on, I see everyone’s vacation photos. I am envious that my friends are on beaches and at pools. They are eating lobster rolls and other amazing summertime foods. They are at live music concerts, traveling, and camping.

It seems everyone is enjoying their summer while I am over here running on the hamster wheel. When I say envious, I mean it; I don’t mean jealous; I am happy that my friends are living their lives again after a year of doing nothing. On the other hand, we are doing the same thing as we did last year; of our own doing. Don’t get me wrong; I am grateful we even still have a business after last year; we just need to come up for air for a minute.

Thursday, we were in Albany, NY, by 9 am, an hour from here, to make some deliveries. It would not be a production day, which set us back even further. We went into a big Shop-Rite while we were there already and planned our menu for later that night. We decided on a summery menu since it was probably the only hot & sunny day of the week.

We had other deliveries to make later in the afternoon, Marty went North, and I went South to get them all done. I was so hot, tired, and flustered that I lost my keys in the van; I knew they were there because I unlocked the doors. I spent the next 20 minutes cursing, praying to St. Anthony to help me find my keys. I know that St. Anthony is so sick of me losing shit all the time, but he always comes through. “St. Anthony, St. Anthony, please come around; my keys are missing and can’t be found.” I am sure he makes me wait to pay for all the cursing I do.

At one point during the missing key situation, I really started getting mad. There was no way on fucking earth I would make that call to Marty and tell him I lost the keys in the van. No way that was going to happen! Just as I almost started to cry, I looked down and saw the key stuck between the front seat and the cargo area. I thanked St. Anthony the whole way to my next delivery.

At my next delivery, I somehow cut my pinky finger, and it bled like a mother. I didn’t know where or how I did it but realized it when I was covered with blood. I quickly went back into the place I made the delivery to see if I was bleeding in there, but thank goodness I wasn’t. I had to wrap my pinky in a dirty, crumpled-up tissue that I found under the seat where the key was hiding earlier. Thank God this was my last delivery stop. I got home so much later than I planned. This is how life on the hamster wheel goes, going nowhere fast.

At this point, I am also going to add that somehow, on the Fourth of July, while sitting down, my left quad leg muscle went into a painful spasm that has left me hobbling around, having to go up and down stairs like Gimpy. I’ve tried everything to get this muscle to heal, but it’s taking its sweet ass time. It’s so frustrating since I am on my feet constantly, and it hurts. I am a train wreck right now, aren’t I? LOL

Back to Thursday…when I got home, I still wanted to make the meal we planned on when we bought all the ingredients in Shop-Rite. Was I nuts? Yes! Did I pull it off? Barely. Did it taste good, and more importantly, was it worth it? You bet your ass it was.

Today we are relaxing. We tried to plan a quick getaway for a night or two but forgot we were finally getting the cracked windshield replaced in the van after months of waiting. Our particular windshield hasn’t been available during the pandemic, which means we haven’t been able to get the van inspected either. We have to be grown-ups and have it done and take the van for inspection. I hate being a grown-up! I wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to grow up if I knew it sucked sometimes.

Typing this blog post early this morning…

So enough of my pissing and moaning. I’m not looking for sympathy or anything like that; it’s an authentic blog that can’t be all made-up bullshit and roses. I get cranky and whiny when I feel burned out. I’ll get over it. It’s funny that I chose the mug that says, “GET SHIT DONE” for my coffee this morning; probably a bad choice, but I didn’t even think when I poured my coffee.

All in all, the weekend turned out well. We sat on our front porch Friday night and watched all the people going to and from the carnival. We lost track of how many times the firetruck and tractor rides went by our house. People waved to us while we were relaxing with a cocktail. I was indeed relaxed, especially since I made myself a Bloody Mary to go with my late lunch after production. 😉

We had a successful farmers’ market selling out before the market was over. Last night we went to the Firemen’s carnival; Marty and Sam were on call with the rescue squad, so they brought the ambulance to the carnival in case they had a call, which they did at the end of the night. I had a good time; it was fun catching up with some friends were haven’t seen for a long time.

Later on, I am looking forward to writing about the fantastic food I made on that frazzled Thursday. I am making a pot of Indian Butter Chicken for dinner tonight or tomorrow and some more doggie meatballs for Klaus. This type of cooking isn’t a chore; it’s my zen. Have a great Sunday, guys! Thanks for listening. ❤️

One Reply to “Mid-July burnout…”

  1. I’m sorry to hear the rest of the week went to shit. Love the side by side photo. Hope we can bring the sunshine when we come back in a couple of weeks.❤️

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