After going through a complete transformation back in March after I removed a vortex from our house, I was in the best shape of my life, mentally and emotionally.

I’ve been filled with joy and feel lighter after being able to finally forgive my mother for the years of abuse I endured.

Then came my physical transformation that began at the end of April after having strep throat.

I began to lose weight since I gave up drinking. I realized I had been self-medicating myself with alcohol since I was 14 years old.

I lost my taste for alcohol and knew I was done with it. I didn’t need it anymore. I NEVER imagined this would ever happen since I liked to drink.

I didn’t get fall down drunk, but I would feel my shoulders relax and get that familiar buzz. I drank every night starting at 5 pm.

The weight began to fall off of me. In week one, I lost 6 lbs and 5 lbs the second week. I was amazed and thought well damn, I wish I did this years ago.

It took me until July to realize all the weight I was losing wasn’t just from not drinking anymore; it came from not binge eating at night when I got a buzz.

Right after the initial week of not drinking, I began making better food choices during the day. I had no cravings at night anymore.

When it comes down to it, even though we weren’t eating processed foods, I was cooking like a chef in a restaurant using tons of butter.

I wasn’t eating any fresh fruits, and the fresh veggies I ate were cooking in, you know what. Butter. Damn, how terrible.

Even though we cannot eat gluten, we ate gluten-free bread, which wasn’t nutritious for us. We were not eating enough seeds, nuts, or grains.

Initially, I started looking at “clean eating” blog posts and recipes. Everything seemed easy enough to prepare and had enough flavor to satisfy us.

I made little changes, like not cooking with butter but using avocado and olive oil. I still put butter on my corn on the cob, toast, which we rarely have, and baked potatoes.

There are no cheat days or foods that are taboo since we eat everything in moderation.

That doesn’t mean we eat “cheat” foods often, but when we eat out at our friends’ houses, it’s nice to just enjoy the delicious food that is always served.

We eat lots of salad with fresh fruits and veggies. I use salad dressing more sparingly.

Eating so many fresh fruits and veggies has brought my taste buds alive for the first time. I have an excellent palate, but now it’s even better.

I eat slowly and savor my food, not shoving it down like I did for years. Since last year, I have stopped rushing around, period. It’s a beautiful thing.

We eat lean beef, pork, chicken, and shellfish. Marinades and dry rubs impart a great deal of flavor to our meals.

We don’t feel the need to eat a starch with every meal like the way we grew up doing.

Potatoes, rice, or pasta were always served as a side dish. Many nights, we had a salad with our protein or just vegetables.

Am I starving myself to death like I did when I was in Weight Watchers 20 years ago? Not at all.

I am not counting points or longing for food like I did back then.

I am simply eating until I am full. This means my fork goes down the second my brain sends the message that I am full.

It doesn’t matter how good or how much food I have left. Most nights, I leave 1 or 2 bites on my plate instead of cleaning my plate. Again, old eating habits.

I only weigh myself once a week. I had an issue when I went to Weight Watchers and weighed myself numerous times a day without any clothes on.

That was a big problem, huge! I will never do that again after realizing how fucked up that was.

This week, I weighed in at 115 pounds, down from 158 pounds, for a total loss of 43 pounds!

Can you imagine my small frame carrying that much weight around? No wonder why I was so miserable how I felt and looked to myself.

Am I losing this weight and keeping it off for vanity’s sake? While I love how I look, I am doing it so I can breathe and have no lung disease symptoms.

My pulmonologists told me I had improved since the last pulmonary function tests I had the first week in April.

Another reason for staying on track is my gut health. I have never had a healthy gut before. How do I know? I am no longer lactose intolerant. Weird.

I will never change my routine of having one cookie with a small glass of whole milk before bedtime.

I’ve been doing that since I was little. I no longer have to buy Lactaid milk or take lactose pills while eating dairy products.

This in itself is wild to me after having lactose issues since I was nine years old.

In the end, the question is, “Do I feel better? “Am I sleeping better? Do I look better? Do I have more energy? Does my skin look better?”

The answer is yes to all those questions. I feel grateful that I have had a total body and mind transformation since March.

I am a completely different person who is happy, healthy, full of joy, calmer, and full of gratitude.

Marty is still in disbelief at how different everything is for me. I feel and look like I did in my 30s again.

Not bad for a 57-year-old. 😉

I wanted to share this wonderful part of my journey with you guys. You have read about my ups and downs, frustrations, and emotional struggles over the last three years.

Now is the fun part of my journey. How could I not feel grateful and blessed?

Have a nice night my friends.

The weather here in Vermont has been hot and cold, depending on the day or hour.

On Sunday, I picked all the red peppers in my garden and pulled out the plants. Some tomatoes are hanging on and turning red.

When my friend Ann was here last week, she picked the pears off our trees while I was at belly dance.

She took some back to Jersey and made pear sauce. Mmmmm! She also picked a bunch for me.

I went outside and found more pears dropping from higher up on the tree. They fall on the grass, and Nelly nibbles on them. When she’s done, it’s the bee’s turn.

I found a perfect pear and squealed with delight. When I compared it to the other pears, it was the size of an actual pear you would find in a store. Yay!

After picking the peppers, I roasted them on our grill. When I was happy with the char, I put them in a bowl and covered them with film.

I let them sit for 15 minutes or so and peeled off the skins. Next, I opened the peppers and got rid of the stem, seeds, and membranes.

I put the peppers into a mason jar and added olive oil to cover the them.

The roasted red peppers are stored in the refrigerator until we are ready to open them when the weather gets colder.

I’ve roasted red peppers many times, but these were MY peppers. I am proud as a fucking peacock.

I’ll let the tomatoes, basil, and herbs do their thing until the first frost. Summer is supposed to be back later this week with temps in the mid-80s.

The beets, lettuce, turnips, arugula, and spinach are growing nicely for a fall harvest.

I love gardening and have learned so much this year, not only about veggies but also about flowers.

I am saving seeds from my flowers for late fall and early spring plantings. Look at me go!😜

Fall is here…sort of anyway.

Our home was built in 1832, moved across the street, and placed where our house is today.

Do we have a scary basement? Every old home has one. Ours is a post-and-beam home built with rocks as the foundation, posts & beams, and actual trees!

Only half of our basement is dug out to standing height. It has a cement floor necessary for an oil tank and furnace.

The other half of the basement is a crawl space with a dirt floor. There is a section to literally crawl through.

We put down tarps years ago and use the space for storage, mostly for the boys’ old Lego, Brio trains, Play Mobile, Lincoln logs, my preserved wedding dress, and other holiday decorations.

I’ve been saving the toys for when I have grandchildren someday.

Why am I talking about the basement? I was excited to go into the crawl space last week and dig out my fall and Halloween decorations, which have been packed up there since 2014.

I was there to organize it about four years ago and struggled to hoist my 40-pound heavier body up to the crawl space.

Then I had to inch myself in slowly since it was a tight fit. I had a more challenging time getting out after being hunched over and whacking my head numerous times.

It was not a fun project and I vowed that I would never try that trick again. Never came last week.

I got into the space easily and moved around the crawl space without hitting my head. Getting out was even easier.

When I was done I stared at the opening to the crawl space. I couldn’t believe I had so much trouble the last time I went in there.

I didn’t realize how much 40 pounds was on my tiny frame and why I felt like shit for 10 years. Wow!

Anyway, I got out all the decorations and smiled as I went through the tote boxes which kept the items clean and safe.

I was grateful that when I put them in there in 2013, I did it correctly. I did the same thing with the Christmas decorations, too! Yay me.

I displayed the fall decorations and am waiting until mid-September to put out the Halloween decorations.

I rarely go down to the basement since we moved our laundry to the main floor, which I love, by the way.

I went down there yesterday to get something and I looked again at the opening to crawl space. I still cannot believe how fucking big I was! Ugh.

After having strep throat at the end of April, I lost weight quickly by quitting drinking and clean eating not to be skinny; I did it to live an everyday life again with lung disease.

In August, I did better on my pulmonary function tests, and my pulmonologist said that I was stable and had improved. Oh yeah!

I feel like I’m in my 30s again, not that tired, old, hard to move around miserable person I was at the beginning of April.

I thank God numerous times a day and live in total gratitude that I got a second lease on life and I’m using every second of it. ☺️

Happy Friday!

Up here in Vermont, the weather has been flip-flopping from summer to fall daily. It’s the best of both worlds for me since I love both.

One damp & rainy day last week, I craved stuffed peppers, one of my favorite comfort foods.

I had a bunch of green peppers that were colored with bits of red and yellow that needed to be used, pronto.

I looked up a recipe for clean-eating stuffed peppers and stumbled upon the one I used from the Clean Eating Couple. Here’s the link.https://thecleaneatingcouple.com/stuffed-pepper-soup/

Marty isn’t a fan of stuffed peppers so the soup version was perfect since it was quick to make with the same flavor.

The recipe came together quickly. Within an hour, the soup was done and the house smelled so delicious.

When I had a bowl of the soup, I was in heaven! Yum! It was exactly what I was in the mood for.

The recipe made a decent amount so I gave Noah and Aja some for their dinner too. They loved it too! Yay, happy dance!

The clean-eating recipe was very similar to the ancient one that I use for stuffed peppers.

This was a time when we were all eating clean since heavily processed foods didn’t exist yet.

I love sharing great recipes with you; this one is perfect for the colder weather months.

I hope you try it if you are a stuffed pepper fan. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Enjoy your Labor Day! ❤️🤍💙

We had our production week over yesterday and afterwards I made my delivery run. I was exhausted last night, but it was worth it since today was all mine! Yay!

The morning started off chilly with lots of sunshine. My garden has been sliding downhill quickly during the month of August.

As the temperature rose I headed outside and began working. I thinned out the beets and turnips I planted over two weeks ago.

I harvested the rest of the beets, eggplant and carrots. I know what mistakes I made that affected the size of produce; I overcrowded everything.

Overcrowding shouldn’t be a problem next year since we added more raised beds to grow more food.

After harvesting I pulled out the plants and threw them into a compost pile. I left the pepper until they all turn red.

I am planning on roasting all the red peppers and storing them in olive oil. I love roasted red peppers and can have them all winter.

Did I mention how much I loved growing food for us to eat??

After lunch, I got out our scarecrow frame and dressed it in clothes that are too big on me now.

I attached my scare girl to the post Marty put up so I could display our birdhouses that were tucked away in the back part of our yard.

I had the idea and knew what it would look like and Marty made my vision come to life again.

I have a lot to write down in my garden journal and I took photos at the beginning and the end of each month to remind me while planning next year’s garden.

I went into the pool to cool down after gardening and jumped in the outdoor shower afterwards. Ah!

The outdoor shower was the best thing Marty built for us this summer. We take showers almost every night before bed.

There are no words for showering under the starry skies and the beautiful moon.

That’s it for now. I’m making Thai green curry chicken and jasmine rice for dinner which is an easy and flavorful meal. Yum!

Hey, happy Friday! Enjoy your holiday weekend guys. ❤️🤍💙

Randomness: the quality or state of lacking a pattern or principle of organization; unpredictability.

The number one thing that people say when they see me, “I love your blog and how random it is.”

My blog is so random that most pieces write themselves, and I am even surprised as the story unfolds.

Before I started my blog back in 2021, I gave a lot of thought as to what kind of blog I wanted to have.

I knew I wanted to write about food and cooking, but I didn’t want to be “just” a food blog.

I wanted to write about my life and what I’m up to. I wanted to share my Julzie things with people.

I never imagined I would use my blog as a therapeutic and healing place to share the fucked up relationship I had with my mother.

Recently, my blog posts have focused on food, gardening, being a witch, my kids, and so forth.

When I finish writing a piece, I’m usually pleased with the direction the post went.

Then sometimes, I let a post simmer overnight and reread it in the morning. When this happens, I usually hit the delete button.

I don’t write for the sake of writing; I write about things that excite me or that inspire me to share something new or interesting.

I love sharing delicious recipes or photos of my garden. And the psychic shit…that comes out of thin air like magic.

I had no plans to write tonight, but after cleaning up after dinner, I got a grin on my face and knew I wanted to write about my complete randomness as a writer.

Randomness suits me. I have so many random things going on in my life that it would be impossible for me to write about only one subject.

When people open their computers or phones and see that I wrote another piece they wonder what in the hell did she write about today?

Random things like my blog keep my life interesting and fun. Every day is different, and so are the many things I have my hands in.

Did I know where this post was going after I typed the title? Fuck no. I didn’t realize until tonight how random I really am.

Actually, come to think of it, I am unpredictable, just like the definition below the title photo. 😜

I haven’t written a blog post like this in ages, but it finally feels like it’s the right time.

I guess it started in mid-July, I was asked to help move on a newly deceased man who refused to leave his house and was scaring the shit out of his grown kids.

I was able to obtain a lot of information about this case since it’s been an ongoing story that my friend has been concerned about for years.

The tip-off that the guy died in the house was when several ravens were flying over his family’s home, seen by a neighbor who happens to be psychic.

When the neighbor began to smell death coming from inside the house it was time to call the authorities. End of situation; or not.

Bottom line, the stubborn asshole wouldn’t leave the house even though loved ones from the other side tried their best.

After a powerful job of getting this guy to move on with the help of my “big kahuna helpers,” the story doesn’t end here.

After the job was done, I say job but I don’t charge money for services since I was given my gifts to be a spiritual healer or helper.

Usually, I perform the service of crossing over a stuck person for their own good, but in this case, it was for his kids.

Case closed? No. I received a phone call from the psychic neighbor and we chatted at length.

She told me about her raven friends, whom she feeds, and how smart they are. When they visit her, they bring her shiny trinkets.

Interesting! Then, I began seeing ravens everywhere. Online, in newsfeeds, on the cover of a book at a friend’s place, in person, hearing them, seeing images of ravens in the oddest places.

I started finding shiny coins and trinkets in odd places. This is bat shit crazy I must be imaging this is what I thought whenever I found another one.

This morning, I found a shiny dime that was under an old windowsill that Marty was working on for me.

Finally, I decided all of the above were signs. Raven was trying to get my attention which I was avoiding out of fear.

Ravens are bad omens aren’t they? Not always.

In my case, it wasn’t a bad omen, but I had a new power animal who wanted to work with me and had a message for me.

I tried many times to journey to the lower world to see what Raven wanted, but I couldn’t because I was afraid.

The other side won’t let you journey if you are afraid, period. I knew this.

In the spring, I had two conversations with friends of mine about witchcraft. I was worried I was a witch.

I started receiving messages reminding me of what they told me: healers were or are considered witches, and it’s not a bad thing.

I know for sure I promised not to be a bad witch in this lifetime, but I learned a few months ago that I am a good witch.

Listen, I know it’s scary shit that still freaks me out!

Once I came to terms with being a witch is why I always see black cats everywhere just like how I saw ravens everywhere.

I wrote about a black cat in a blog post a couple of years ago. Here’s the link if you are curious about it. https://julziestyle.com/2022/09/black-cat

Finally, I was allowed to journey to the lower world earlier this week. My life power animal turtle took me to Raven.

During my journey, I was sitting on a large rock with a turtle when Raven swooped down, stood on my knees, and looked me straight in the eyes.

I wasn’t afraid, for I saw kindness in his eyes. He kept cocking his head from side to side, looking at me.

He had a short message for me. “It’s time for you to step into your magic.”

I am blessed with extremely powerful gifts. Now was the time to start using those gifts on my own account.

I have always put everyone else first until my transformation after my illness.

Right now, I am healthy and in shape. My ulcerative colitis is in full remission. I have a healthy gut and can dance and walk fast, even up hills and stairs.

I can carry heavy things and have lots of energy thanks to clean eating and not drinking anymore. It’s truly a miracle that I was praying for.

Now is the time for me to use my magic to create what kind of life I want. Hell, I’m already on my way!

Back in June, I decided to honor my witch hood and dress like the kind of witch I am—nothing like the Wicked Witch of the West or Glenda. Lol.

I’ve been working on my witch attire for the last couple of weeks and it’s coming together beautifully.

Are you afraid of me now that I came out of the witches closet? I hope not because I am the same person I’ve been my whole life.

I am a caring, kind giver, a spiritual healer, and a helper. If you are in my circle, I will protect you with everything I’ve got.

I use my powers for good and have never used them for anything bad.

The only thing that happens when someone crosses the line with me is that it ignites my Jersey fire which is not a good thing.

I can cut anyone loose who crosses that line with a mere thought and they don’t exist in my world anymore. Is that magic?

No, it’s having boundaries that took me decades to learn about. My life has little to no drama now which brings me peace.

I set up a new altar in our back room, my creative space. My old altar was up in our office where I seldom go.

The space feels powerful now. It feels like my true self. Yes, I have a raven on my altar along with turtle since they both belong there.

It’s always difficult to write pieces like this not because I don’t have the words, it’s not knowing how it will be received by my readers.

I put myself out there and I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea when it comes to these topics but it is who I really am. ~julz

The definition of bittersweet is a blend of sad and happy feelings. That’s what I was feeling last night at the fair.

We had a family Sunday dinner at our place with Noah, Sam, and Aja on Sunday.

These are the dinners I dreamed of when the boys were young bickering at the dinner table. I honestly never thought we’d have enjoyable dinners.

I’m so happy I was wrong. It took until the boys were fully matured and on the right paths of their lives.

At the table, we talked about going to the Washington County Fair in NY this week. We didn’t go last year because I was so ill.

Well, we went with Noah and Aja last night and it was so much fun! We all looked forward to it all week and the evening turned out spectacular.

As we walked around the fair I would see all of Noah’s favorite places in the fair when he was little. I wasn’t really sad, but I got a little choked up.

We had him as an only child for four years and did everything we could for us to do family things.

Walking around the fair with him for the first time in almost two decades was bittersweet, indeed.

Watching him and Aja walking around together and interacting as two people in love made me so happy.

We had a lot of laughs and a great time, but we stopped going because the fair was pretty boring when just the two of us went.

We went with Sammy a few years ago and it was hot as hell. We had a wonderful time with Sam even though we were running for shade constantly. lol.

I could see in my mind’s eye how excited Noah would get when he saw the tractors. That was all he cared about.

I could still hear him make tractor sounds, and it made me smile from ear to ear. Last night, he said how much he loved sitting on all the tractors.

I loved walking around with Aja and having fun together. We watched the piggy races, which I don’t think she has seen before. It’s so corny, but we all wanted to watch the race.

On our way home from the fair, it was funny listening to them talking about how their feet and backs hurt.

I could imagine going to the fair with my future grandchildren and showing them the animals and farm equipment, just like we did with our boys.

When we looked at crafts for sale for children, I told Aja that I will go broke when we have grand-babies.

I was walking ahead like I always do, thinking last year I would have been unable to walk around at all. I praised God for my second chance at life.

When Marty and I got home, we talked about what an awesome evening it was. I told him my mama heart with so full and happy.

It was a magical night! 🪄

Last night was a special full moon, it was a full blue supermoon and we won’t see another one until 2037.

Did I feel the energy? Hell, yes! I ran around last night and gathered my gemstones, crystal ball, and the most worn bracelets.

I set them up in our back room, where I recently made not an altar but a calming area in my creative spot.

I keep reading about manifesting what you truly want. The sky’s the limit, and so have been. Dreams beyond your wildest dreams. Yes, please.

I have some specific wishes, along with ones that cover protection, wealth of a multitude of things like health and financial freedom.

You aren’t supposed to ask how or question anything. All you need is faith and big dreams.

Yes, some folks will be like dream on kid it, ain’t gonna happen. But what if it did? That’s how faith and hope work.

All you have to do is believe. It’s easier said than done, I know. The key is to already see yourself living that life.

Yes, mainstream people think I am a nut job, but my friends who really know me are sometimes amazed at the magic I can create and what a powerful healer I am.

You have 2 more days to reap the harvest of this full blue supermoon! Dream away!

I’ve wait for a couple of months for this baby to be just right before I picked it tonight.

This is what I love so much about gardening! I watched a tiny pepper pop out of a flower.

I watched the little green pepper grow and grow. Towards the end of July, that green pepper started to turn red.

This made me squeal with delight. I can’t believe how exciting it is to have a garden!

I would update Nelly on how the garden was doing since she was at my feet whenever I was outside.

The month of August has been quite rainy, so rainy in fact that today is the first day I’ve watered my garden since July.

I had my eye on that pepper all week and kept telling myself not yet. I bought some lean ground beef to make stuffed peppers with many peppers I’ve grown.

There are still a couple of half-green and half-red peppers. The great news is that I get to do it all over again—waiting until they are just right!

Behold, the photo above of my pepper that I’m so fucking proud of. She’s a beauty isn’t she?