Rose quartz…

Yesterday, we were on the road all day making deliveries and setting up our winter vending booth at the indoor Troy Farmers Market. There is a gemstone and bead store that I adore on River Street, a place that I can always find what I “need.”

Since my mother’s passing two weeks ago, I’ve gone through many emotions. I wrote about the anger I felt right after death. 

Last week, those angry feelings shifted, leaving me weepy and sad. It took a few days to realize it wasn’t that I was mourning the loss of my mother, but sad because of the relationship we had. 

I tried my best for 50 years to be the best daughter I could be. I withstood verbal abuse along with relentless emotional torture. I was manipulated, used, and lied to…yet I still wanted to try to please her. I still loved her. I wanted to reach the unobtainable expectations set for me. 

I wanted just once to be introduced as her daughter, not her adopted daughter. It made me want to cry every time she did it. The few times I met someone before she did, she would always ask if I told them I was adopted. Why would I? Why was it important? Oh yeah, every time she told someone that I was adopted, they praised her like a saint.

Through meditation, I was guided to wear rose quartz close to my heart. I used rose quartz for the same purpose a few years ago when a friendship ended suddenly.

Rose quartz helps to heal a broken heart. It opens the heart chakra, releases emotional pain from trauma, helps with depression, and restores love and trust within yourself and others. Self-love, acceptance, and trust are a huge part of the healing process.

When I went into the gemstone and bead shop, I saw the owner who always helped me. I told her exactly what I needed. She quickly got out many different types of pink quartz pieces suitable to wear around my neck. Wearing rose quartz near your heart helps the healing process even quicker. If I cannot wear a necklace, I stick a rose quartz polished stone either down my bra or in a pocket.

I decided last night I wasn’t going to wallow in sadness and sorrow. I am done feeling sorry for myself. It is time to heal and put the past into the past. I thought about it like this; my mother is in paradise, and if I don’t start to heal and let it go, I will be living in my own personal hell.

Interestingly, when I decided to start wearing color again in the springtime, I gravitated to a soft pink color close to pink quartz. It started with my new eyeglasses, then a purse, a few new & second-hand tops, and scarves. I guess my instinct knew I needed this healing long before I realized it.

Cultures all over the world have been using gemstones for healing purposes in both ancient and modern times. If you are interested in gemstone and crystal healing there is endless information on the internet.

I suggest when you are purchasing gemstones and crystals you visit a shop in person. Picking up each stone or crystal helps guide you which one is right for you. I don’t recommend buying gemstones for healing purposes online; they are overpriced and not chosen specifically for you.