Is going through a car wash a frivolous thing? Living in Vermont, if you care about preserving your vehicle and getting rid of salt that can cause rust, then the answer is no.

I love my pick up truck and we are working on paying it off sooner than when it is scheduled to be.

I plan to keep my vehicle for a long time since it’s perfect for me. It’s the right size, color, space, and gets decent fuel mileage.

It’s a total no brainer. We have unlimited passes to Hoffman Car Wash one of which opened recently in Bennington.

We use the ones in surrounding NY towns whenever we are there, but now I can go every time I am in Bennington.

Why in fuck’s name am I writing about a car wash? It’s no big deal in places other than here.

My writing mentor Jon Katz’s voice is booming in my head in regards to my readers saying, “Why should I give a shit?”

Why should you is right?

I just wanted to post my video for those who may be slightly entertained by how much more exciting a car wash is these days.

Long gone are the dark, brown, murky car washes of my youth. Long gone are the 4 guys drying your car off with towels that weren’t white anymore.

Car washes are eco friendly, colorful and wax your vehicle in a blink of an eye.

Car washes are a must to prevent your vehicle from becoming a rust bucket, which is the biggest pain-in-the-ass nightmare for auto technicians in these parts who work on rusty cars.

Let’s call this post an informative post. I have to go to Bennington today, tomorrow, and Saturday.

Yes, I will be hitting the car wash everyday to enjoy the water and light show that I find amusing.

My truck Skye will be happy to take another shower.

Have a great day!

People who really know me well are still amazed at how different I am from a year and a half ago; mentally, they mean not so much physically, but that, too.

When I learned about hygge (hue-ga or hoo-ga) I began creating a cozy environment. It changed how I felt about winter in general.

Last winter, I didn’t mind at all with this new sense of comfy-ness, acceptance, rest, and renewal.

Last winter, planning my gardens, educating myself about gardening, learning to draw, and finding joy in peace and quiet was something new.

That feeling lasted all year. It changed in the summer to watching my veggies and flowers grow, cutting beautiful bouquets, creating a cozy space on our front porch and deck.

The fall is easy to find coziness in almost everything. I found out about coziness during September last year and I haven’t looked back.

I saw this post on a hygge group on Facebook the other day. I immediately answered the question differently than the other 100 comments.

I wrote it’s a state of mind like I knew this my whole life. So many people agreed that it is a state of mind not just a bunch of fluffy pillows, blankets, drinking tea, and candles.

I looked up what a hygge state of mind is and low and behold, it’s described exactly what happened to me and many others around the world.

It’s how the Danish and Norwegian people grow up and are raised to survive their long winters.

In Billy Joel’s song, “New York state of mind,” he romanticizes the state of New York and returning home.

Hygge romanticizes winter and that feeling of home. It touches people who love to be home, preparing comfort foods, reading…you know the rest by now.

Can making a cozy home give you that state of mind? Yes and no. It’s easier if you are happy and content what you have.

It’s a lot harder if you don’t see beauty in the little things in life like a bee pollinating flowers or how a candle flickers.

Hygge helped me survive last year during the holiday season and winter like the Danish. This year I looked forward to winter.

I think I finally understand and can put into words why I act and feel so differently. I now accept and appreciate the little things in my life.

If you are unhappy or have the winter blues like I did can this state of mind help everyone? Maybe or maybe not.

People reading this may may say, “I have the winter blues but I am a happy person.”

I know from experience those two things don’t exist together. It’s like saying I am happy depressed person. I was a depressed person period.

Before I heard of hygge I could not find that state of mind when I was in a state of constant depression. I was missing something.

I think if people are looking for help with that hygge feeling, creating a cozy environment does definitely help set the mood.

Looking within and finding that cozy, grateful feeling in your heart is even more important.

I can describe it like when the Grinch’s heart grew three times that day.

Hygge is like the song by the band Boston. “It’s more than a feeling.” It’s a state of mind.

I may be late to the game, but during a dinner party at our house over the holidays, a friend of ours, Kelly, brought up a subject we never heard of before, Black Dog Syndrome.

Kelly, a history professor, has spent her adult years working with animal rescues and shelters in Cincinnati, Ohio.

She was smitten with Roxy, our rescued black frenchie and explained to us what Black Dog Syndrome is.

Marty and I were in disbelief but when I researched the subject, Kelly could have written the articles I read herself. Amazing.

According to thesprucepets.com, “Black dog syndrome, also known as BDS, is a phenomenon in pet adoption in which black dogs are ignored in favor of light-colored ones.

Observed by shelters and rescue groups across the world, BDS is an issue negatively affecting the adoption rates of black pets. The reason behind the phenomenon is unclear.

Adopters might pass by black dogs because of a fear stigma against certain breed types—like pit bulls, for instance.

Movies and television shows often portray big, black dogs as aggressive and intimidating, which could also convince potential adopters to avoid them. Some believe it could come down to how photogenic dogs are.

Notoriously, black dogs do not photograph well. Lighter-colored dogs, on the other hand, do. When shelters or rescues photograph their adoptable animals to post on their website or on social media, lighter-colored dogs may have the upper hand.

In mythology and folklore, black dogs are regularly portrayed as guardians of the underworld. They’re also represented as bad omens in general.

Those stories date back hundreds of years and they may creep into adopters’ minds when they are perusing the shelter. And some people believe black dog syndrome may be due to potential adopters associating the color black with evil.

Other theories as to why BDS exists include the fact that black or dark coats are less noticeable and that black dogs simply don’t photograph well and, as a result, they don’t always attract adopters.

In addition to a fear stigma against certain breeds that are often portrayed as aggressive, geographic location may also play into BDS.

While some believe it’s genuinely tougher for black dogs to find their forever families, science has not proven or disproven the theory. There are several studies that contradict each other.

In a 2011 study by the ASPCA, appearance was the most frequently cited reason for those adopting a canine.

A study published in the Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science in 2002 found that black coat colors negatively influenced adoption rates for both dogs and cats. Researchers said adoption rates were much lower in pure-black animals.”

According to Kelly, black dogs are sometimes immediately sent to kill shelters since they have little chance of ever being adopted.

Seriously? What the fuck? What a bunch of bullshit! The more I read the more upset Marty and I became.

It made us want to rescue more black dogs even though we can’t do that realistically.

I’m interested if you have heard or are aware of this ridiculousness. What are your thoughts?

Have you rescued a black dog or cat? How can such a thing exist in all dog breed not just the so called, “bad ones?” What about black labs?

We love our little Roxy. She is such a loving, smart and funny girl. She fit into our family immediately. Nelly and Roxy adore each other and are inseparable. Roxy was meant for our family.

I have to tell you that when we purchased Nelly from a breeder quite a few Karens gave me an attitude or the cold shoulder because we didn’t rescue a dog.

Fuck you to all the Karens and mind your own damn business! We got Nelly at a time when I was diagnosed with lung disease and didn’t know yet how long I would survive.

I needed a dog I knew everything about from a breeder. I couldn’t have any surprises with a rescue. I was extremely ill and needed an animal that could offer me support not the other way around.

Nelly was the dog for me. Period.

Now, I know I don’t have to explain the whys about Nelly to anyone but have this to say, the right dog that you need at that time somehow finds it way to you and no one should ever question it or worse act like an asshole to you because they disagree with your choice.

This brought up painful memories to me of growing up in with my adopted family who all had fair skin and blue eyes.

Anywhere we went people always remarked that I looked nothing like my parents. Some even hinted if I was the mail or milk man’s child.

How appalling these comments were to me especially when I was young. How dare people say this to a young child who felt sad enough that they didn’t like anyone else in the world.

As I got older I wanted to tell those people to shut the fuck up but I was taught to always be respectful.

As I grew older, that shit went right out the window and I began answering those comments in my Jersey style way.

The bottom line is, we have one designer frenchie and one that was a stray in Houston living and surviving on the streets with her brother for who knows how long.

Both of our girls are adorable, loving, smart, stubborn, funny, playful little snuggle bugs.

They both want to be with us 24/7 and that’s what we expected when we chose frenchies as our breed of dogs.

Roxy is a badass and a protector while Nelly is a naive little princess but both have captured our hearts, our couches, and our bed.

Both of our girls were the right dogs for us at the right time no matter what their color or where they came from. These girls are our ying and yang. 🖤🤍

Thanks for reading. Have a great Sunday!

We held our Annual Holiday Hafla at bellydance on Wednesday, December 18,2024. It was an evening of performing for each other.

Our Holiday Hafla celebrates another year of dance on the last class before Christmas; then we break for the holidays.

My dance partner Kathleen and I performed in front of our students for the first time in two years.

I used to be such a seasoned performer that I seldom got nervous, but after making such a huge comeback since May, I was.

Did I have something to prove? Not to my students but to me.

Kathleen has stuck with me through it all and while I needed to do some serious crawling back up to where we were, poor Kathleen had to also since I slowed us both down.

At this point we are happy where we are at and all the filming and critiquing ourselves we do on Saturdays has paid off.

We are however, not even close to where we were before covid. Our goal in 2025 is to regain our speed again both in dancing and zilling.

Please keep in mind, we dance 100% improvisation. We pick a sing and decide how we are going to start the song such as set, walking in, or facing each other.

Other than that neither of us had any idea what will happen. That’s the beauty of improv we don’t have to remember anything when we dance.

After we performed the songs that we chose I was not thrilled with my performance. Kathleen was “on” to say the least, meaning she performed well.

I was in my head too much which is something I tell my students all the time not to do.

I was trying too hard and didn’t really enjoy myself at times where Kathleen danced like she was having a ball.

When I watched our performances I cringed at how many blunders I made from thinking too hard.

Fuck!!!!!!!

I watch everyone with my critical teacher’s eye but I am the hardest on myself down to the tiniest details such as lifting my eyebrows when I spin.

The day after I watched the two performances I rewatched and decided I did a fair job considering I couldn’t dance fast at all before May.

I was having fun at a lot of points in our songs but there were a couple of areas I didn’t feel comfortable with.

Luckily, that was when Kathleen stepped up and hit home runs.

Of course there will always be technique we need to improve and we always need to shimmy more, but for the most part we were together and in each other’s energy.

We’ve been dancing together for 21 years we better be in each other’s energy. Lol.

I am sharing our two songs we danced to which I hope you enjoy watching.

Another goal of mine is to film with my go pro camera since my iPad camera sucks! This I will have to learn more about and get better at it.

I would also like for us to perform for our students more regularly so we can get back into performance mode or we can put up videos of us on YouTube monthly.

Either way, I am so looking forward to getting back to dance tomorrow with Kathleen and start another round of classes on Wednesday night.

Happy Friday! I didn’t remember today was Friday until about 3 pm this afternoon. 😂

Marty and I are ending this year on a high note! We have a new and exciting plan for our business in 2025 and lots of other things to look forward to.

No matter your year, it’s best to leave it in the past and look towards the future.

If you are stuck in a rut, in a relationship that isn’t working, unhealthy habits, and thinking negatively all the time, it’s time to get off your ass and make some changes.

Change is good and can be scary. Our new business plan for our business is filled with uncertainty as it is exciting. We’ve been in a rut.

The changes I made this year transformed me in mind, body, and spirit. The changes came easily when I finally trusted my guides, the angels, and the Big Guy himself.

At bedtime, I spend time in gratitude. Next, I give all my worries over to the universe.

When I begin to worry during the day I just say, “I give that worry away.” It works every single time.

I have found good things actually happen when I give those worries away. I am very specific regarding my worries.

I know I don’t have to list them off one by one, but I do it for me. It’s like attaching each worry to a red balloon and watching it float away.

When I wake up, I give thanks that I woke up and have another day to live. Each day is a gift and so is waking up in the first place.

I am grateful for all of you who have stuck with me through all my ups and downs.

I am ending this year on a high note and will ring in the new year with our close circle of friends.

Happy New Year! 🎆

Happy Christmas Eve! We celebrated our Christmas Eve last evening with our boys and Aja.

Sammy works today and Noah & Aja go to her mom’s house on Christmas Eve so it worked out for everyone.

I served Christmas Eve in courses this year instead of a buffet. It was so much nicer and easier.

Sam helped with the platings, serving, and clean up. The menu followed the feast of the seven dishes we traditionally do each year.

I’ve never done 7 different dishes but yesterday I served 4 fish which is the normal for me.

I spent a good amount of time coming up with a different menu than I usually make for Christmas Eve.

Menu

Scallop Bisque Soup

Baked Stuffed Clams

Shrimp Scampi Stuffed Shells

Caesar Salad with freshly made crotons

Eggnog Tiramisu

The Baked Stuffed Clams are a crowd favorite and can’t ever be changed because they are that good.

Our dinner was relaxed and the portion sizes were perfect. Everyone always fills up on the clams and doesn’t have time for the entree

Everyone was happy I did it this way and no one was overfilled. They had room to appreciate dessert too!

I put a lot of love into that dinner. Aja told me she could taste the love I thanked her since that meant a lot to me.

Yesterday afternoon, Sam did a photo shoot of the girls in their Christmas Bella and reindeer antlers.

He also took a few shots of us as well.

Today, it’s just Marty, our little Frenchies and I which has been wonderful and relaxing.

We watched A Christmas Carol the musical with Kelsey Grammer, Jason Alexander, and Jennifer Love Hewitt. I loved it.

They did such an amazing job with this film and the singing, dancing, and choreography was terrific.

Afterwards, I set the table for Christmas breakfast with my boys and Aja. It’s a tradition we’ve started a few years ago.

We open gifts, Marty makes his famous German pancakes that are like crepes with all kinds of fillings.

Another tradition is my overnight french toast casserole, bacon and Sam requested mini quiche which I already made. ✔️

Having Christmas breakfast as a family frees up Noah and Aja so they can visit her family and enjoy Christmas dinner with them.

Right now, it’s 5:30 pm and I am in the process of braising beef short ribs for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

We are making pizza for dinner tonight. Yum!

Sam and I decided on polenta and spinach soufflé as sides with tiny pecan tarts for dessert.

My family and food are very important to me all the time, but it always feels special around the holidays.

I have a very close relationship with God and this year I feel his love so much more not having so much anger and sadness in my heart.

This is truly the most peaceful holiday season I’ve ever felt. It really is the most wonderful time of the year for me after decades of torture, guilt, manipulation, and anxiety from both of our mothers.

I used to cry every Christmas out of frustration and disappointment. I am blessed to finally be able to feel Christmas in my heart and not just go through the motions anymore.

I am at peace. I am calm. I am loved.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah my friends. 🎄♥️

Last night, I hosted a few friends, and we celebrated the winter solstice with ingredients that have been used for hundreds of years.

I didn’t even scratch the surface of ingredients that I could have used, but I used as many as I could that would have been available 200 + years ago.

If I could go back in time I would have gone to school to be a food anthropologist. I love learning about what and how people prepared their food for thousands of years.

In my solstice dinner I used carrots, nutmeg, cinnamon, eggs, walnuts, chestnuts, maple syrup, parsnips, onions, raisins, chicken, spinach, butter, cranberries, orange, rosemary, and cheese.

All very common ingredients that I use almost daily and I always have on hand.

I made a solstice cake and realized when I found the recipe, which is pretty much a festive carrot cake, that I saved the image of the cake a few years ago.

I used that image for an eggnog cake I made and brought to our neighbor’s White Elephant Christmas party.

I got the idea from that image to make the small rosemary trees. I used crumbs under the trees and to cover up the failed frosting job on the sides of the cake.

When I found the cake recipe I used and went back to that image, it was the same cake. It was begging for me to make it and I’m glad I did.

Here is the link to the solstice cake recipe. https://bromabakery.com/winter-solstice-cake/

I added some sugared cranberries, which by the way are shocking wonderful to snack on or put into a salad and they are super easy to make.

Here is the link to the sugared cranberries recipe I use each year. https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/sugared-cranberries/

The rest of our dinner included a chestnut and caramelized onion crostini topper with cranberries and rosemary.

The entree was a spinach and cheese stuffed chicken breast, parsnip purée, and maple glazed carrots. All came out very good.

We had a lovely evening celebrating the first day of winter. Only a year ago, Marty and I hated when winter was approaching for as long as I can remember.

During my transformation, I’ve learned to love all four of our seasons, to slow down, to look around at things, and to appreciate the little things in life.

This year, I looked forward to winter coming and I don’t mind the cold weather at all. Damn, things have really changed.

Embracing the four season has taken more negativity out of my life that has been there since adulthood.

As an adult, I never stopped to appreciate winter and how beautiful it is here in Vermont.

Dressing for winter is also a game changer making going outside refreshing and even pleasant when the sun or the stars are out.

Instead of joining bitching sessions about winter, now, I smile and say I like it and walk away from the conversation.

To those of you who dislike winter, I get it. Growing up in the overpopulated part of Jersey, I grew up where, unless you are a child, it’s harder to find beauty when the snow turns black after 5 minutes, and people do not know how to drive in it.

Happy Winter, guys! ❄️

Happy Winter Solstice! I’ve always loved this day especially when our boys were young when we would hang popcorn in the tree outside for the “snow angels.”

Here’s a link to a short sweet episode of Maurice Sendak’s Little Bear three part “Winter Solstice” tv show that we enjoyed with our boys when they were little.

https://youtu.be/7YfpKSNzQ2g?feature=shared

Maurice Sendak’s books were favorites in our house and the calming episodes on tv brought little bear to life.

Tonight, I’m having a few friends over for a Winter Solstice dinner celebration using some traditional solstice ingredients and flavors.

I’ve taken some photos of my dishes I made yesterday and will again today to share with you.

One of my favorite things to do is cook for my family and friends which I will be doing a lot of over the next two weeks. Yay!

I wish I could cook a meal for all of you. Making food for people is one of the best ways I can share a part of me, I guess writing is another.

I put 100% into the thinking and planning, shopping and meal prep, setting the table, actual cooking and baking, and finally serving a meal made with love. ❤️

I wish you all the best on this longest night of the year. Let go of whatever is no longer serving you and look towards all the bright and wonderful things that lay ahead.

After Marty left for work at school on Monday morning, I made myself a small pot of chia oatmeal, lit some candles, and turned on a winter solstice playlist.

I created a hygge morning in a matter of minutes. As I ate my oatmeal I began to make Indian spiced nuts and apricot chutney.

I had a long to-do list while Marty was at work and I quickly bit off more than I could chew.

I knew things were getting out of control when I started to get that adhd feeling kicking into overdrive.

While I was working on my food projects I started looking for things in my pantry and decided I needed to reorganize the whole thing.

Of course, the other pantry in our back room needed some organizing as well.

I looked at the clock and thought, “oh, shit!” I knew I had to get it together since I still had work to do in the production kitchen.

I walked back into my kitchen and looked around. My peaceful hygge morning went off the rails.

I set a timer for 10 minutes to clean off my island and clean up. Next, I set a 30 minute timer for me to make baked stuffed clams for the freezer for Christmas Eve dinner.

Ding! I made it. Then, I ran out to the production kitchen and set another 30 minutes timer. I got my work done with 4 minutes to spare.

I ran back inside and started caramelizing onions for French onion soup. While babysitting the onions, I cleaned the kitchen and turned on the dishwasher.

I looked at the clock and it was 2:45 pm. Marty would be home in half an hour.

I ran up to change my clothes and make myself presentable enough to go to Bennington with him to go shopping.

I was almost 100% done when he showed up 2 minutes earlier, picking me up than he said. I quickly grabbed my shit and flew out the door.

I still had a few things left on my to-do list, so after dinner, I completed it around 8:45 pm. Whew.

I finally sat down and realized I was utterly exhausted and went up to bed.

I certainly bit off more than I could chew but come hell or high water, I was going to get that fucking to-do list done no matter what. 😜

Wednesday night was our last belly dance class of the year. It was a very small group and I got to actually dance the whole time instead of talking.

Next week, we are having our annual Holiday Hafla, which means celebration. Our students will perform, and Kathleen and I will dance as the Sahidi Sisters.

The first quarter of the year was rough, not being able to dance much due to my lung disease. It was frustrating and sad.

I threw myself into my teaching role and pretended it didn’t bother me. It did. A lot.

In May, I began my physical transformation after having strep though the end of April. I quit drinking and began dropping weight.

With every pound I lost, the better I felt.

In August, Kathleen and I changed our dance time from Wednesday afternoon before class to Saturdays which is so much better.

We can focus on just us and not have to worry about not tiring ourselves out for dance class. We have both improved and are happy how things are coming along.

I’m excited to perform for our students with Kathleen. We’ve been working hard to climb back to where we were professionally, before all this lung disease shit started.

We still have a ways to go but the best part is that we are having fun again! Yip!!

All of our core group of students have improved greatly as well this year.

I am focusing on musicality with some of them and how to start and stop songs with confidence and pizzazz.

We have a two week break since both Christmas and New Year’s days are on Wednesdays.

I always need the break to recharge my batteries and prepare to start off with another 12 week cycle. New comers are always welcome anytime. Hint, hint!

Hopefully we are able to capture some of our performances and we do well enough to want to share them on YouTube which I will share with all of you.